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Title: Attack Of the Prehistoric Pokemon MSTed (part 1)
Author: Kojiro
(http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=Directory-AuthorProfile&UserID=19476)
Attack of the Prehistoric Pokémon MST3K
Disclaimer: I
don’t own this, I don’t own that, it’s not mine.
I’ve MST’d a Pokémon script
because no-one will give me their fanfics (*sob*). So, if you like, send yours
in! Pleeeeasse?
The script I pulled only had the parts with Team Rocket in,
so it’s not a whole episode. Pokémon isn’t mine. I’d be rich if it was.
MST3K
is not mine, neither are Ant, Dec and Cat. They’re actual TV presenters. I used
them because they have a Saturday morning show with Pokémon on it, and they’re
hilarious. Declan tends to dress up as Misty, Ant as Gary, and they have a daft
Pokémon Battle (MISTY: I choose Girly silence attack! Hmmm…. GARY: I choose
reading diary attack! `Dear Diary, I think I’m in love with a guy called Gary,
but I still have a crush on Brock!` Oooh!). Of course, it’s a British show, so
about 85% of the people that read this won’t know who they are. Don’t fret,
there is an intro, but I very much over-emphasised their TV personas… well,
you’ll see.
I used Giovanni from Pokémon as the head of the rival station,
and I tried not to mention existing programs and channels, for fear of getting
my butt sued off.
It’s all in good fun, no slander!
As we enter the
SoL, we’re greeted by a young woman with blond streaked hair. She has a
friendly, yet tense, smile on her face, and a very large knife in her
hand.
"Hi everybody. You’ve joined us at a bad time-"
She’s cut off by a
crashing sound behind her, and a cry of "Get it! Get it! It went over there!"
Cat winces as another shelf bites the dust. "Haven’t you got it yet?" she
cries. As the camera pans out, we see that she’s perched on a footstool,
nervously scanning the floor.
"Ack! It went there! Get it, Dec!" was the
reply, followed by a sharp breaking noise. We follow the noise, to where two men
in their early twenties are chasing something small and black, with several
legs. Ant yelped. "It’s heading over here! Get it!"
"I can’t!" Dec replied.
"It’s… got too many legs… it’s scary…"
At that point, a light began to flash.
"Giovanni’s calling." Said Cat, as she reached over to the control panel to push
a button. Giovanni, head of Team Rocket, an ominous figure shrouded in darkness,
gave an evil grin that soon faded as he comprehended the scene before him.
He sat in silence for a while, before saying slowly, "It’s a spider."
Cat
nodded quickly. "A scary one. With legs."
Giovanni squinted. "It’s a money
spider. It’s the size of a speck of dust."
"It’s scary! It could bite us!"
wheedled Ant.
Giovanni sighed. All was not going to plan. What should be
happening by now is the begging for mercy and the compliance. The idea was that
he would kidnap the presenters of the most popular show on the network that
opposed his, and imprison them on a satellite, where they would be forced to
watch bad Anime. So far, they had settled in well, Dec had become an otaku in a
manner of weeks, and they were enjoying a break from the rigours of presenting a
children’s show.
Not right at all. Sighing again, he used a small laser to
fry the tiny creature, and prepared to send today’s Anime. But there were more
noises of complaint.
Cat, who had climbed down from the stool, was saying
"Poor thing. You didn’t have to kill it."
"Enough!" the exasperated villain
cried. "You have an Anime now. Today will be Pokémon, one of my favourites, as
my organisation stars in it. For a break, I’ll only send the parts with them in.
Enjoy." His picture disappeared from the screen.
Cat turned to face the
others. "Poke what? Never seen it."
"It was on our show, Cat. It’s shit. I’m
deeply afraid of it." explained Ant patiently, and a little worriedly, as the
Anime light began to flash.
"YES! My favourite!" yelped Dec. He pulled on a
red jumper embroidered with his name and a dancing Pikachu, and skipped to the
theatre happily.
Ant, silently sobbing, followed, as did Cat, at a quick pace
before the air was removed from the corridor.
***All enter the theatre,
Dec still wearing his Pikachu jumper, running and skipping. Ant is still
sobbing. Cat seems fairly indifferent. Dec sits in the third seat, Cat in the
second, Ant in the last.***
DEC: Whee! I love Pokémon!
ANT: I hate
Pokémon.
CAT: I’ve never seen it before.
ANT: Oh, do you have a treat
coming your way…
Attack of the Prehistoric Pokémon
ANT: A title
and a description in one handy package.
DEC: Prehistoric attack, Pikachu
shocks dynamite, Rocketshipping abound. That’s a haiku!
CAT: … This is going
to be a confusing half-hour.
(Ash and Co. are talking about whether this
fossil rush is real or not since all these people are digging and no one’s found
anything yet.
CAT: Ack! Information overload! Ash and who are the rush?
The Hell?
DEC: All will be explained, no doubt.
Ash and Misty believe
it’s real, but Brock as his doubts)
CAT: Oh.
DEC: Apparently all
won’t be explained.
CAT: He said we were only sent the bits with Team Rocket
in.
DEC: Giovanni’s proud of Jessie and James? How sad.
ANT: Ah, Brock and
those friendly pet doubts that he keeps with them. Brock always has his little
friends, the doubts.
OTHERS: ???
DEC: Too much sherbet and Mountain Dew
for you, mate.
Meowth: What’s taking dose two so long?
ANT: Dose?
Does Meowth have a cold?
CAT: (as Meowth with blocked nose) By dose! By
dose!
ANT: Even though he’s Japanese, he’s picked up a Jersey accent.
DEC:
(in Meowth’s accent) Chigaimasu! Nya-nya-Nyase!
(Author’s note- Yeah, I know
that made no sense. He said `Incorrect!`, and then did a bit of Nyase-like
chattering.)
CAT: Stop showing off, `Declan-san.`
DEC: Hee hee.
Ash
& Co: Huh?
Pikachu: Chu?
DEC: Uhm?
ANT: Dur?
CAT:
Wha?
(they turn and find Meowth waiting)
Meowth: Humans, the only
thing you can depend on is that dey’re always undependable.
James &
Jessie: Ta da! (pops out from behind a rock)
ANT: (Jessie and James)
Look Meowth! We dressed ourselves!
(Meowth has a sweatdrop)
DEC:
Where?
ANT: Tattooed on his a-
CAT: No. Stop right there.
ANT: I was
going to say `arm`.
CAT: You were not.
DEC: Why were they behind a rock on
their own?
ANT: Maybe-
CAT: No they weren’t. Don’t say it.
ANT: Am I
going to be able to speak at a-
CAT: Nope.
ANT: But-
CAT: (as Dr Evil)
Zip it!
ANT: (as Scott) But I -
CAT: (as Dr Evil) Ziiiip.
Jessie:
Prepare for trouble.
James: Yes, and make it double.
CAT: (as
Jessie) I guess.
DEC: (as James) You know, if you want. You don’t necessarily
have to make it double. Don’t let me force you, or anything.
ANT: Casual
villains, for the hero who couldn’t care less.
(James and Jessie sit on
the rock)
ANT: I think The Rock would object. He’d lay the smack down on
them, in fact.
DEC: You have a problem with Pokémon, but you’ll watch
wrestling?
ANT: (deep voice) Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?
CAT:
Pizza!
ANT: …
Jessie: To protect the world from devastation.
CAT: Even though we’re evil.
James: To unite all peoples within
our nation.
ANT: Uhm, what nation? Does Team Rocket own a
nation?
CAT: Yeah, Giovanni owns France. He’s branching out to the
Netherlands next month.
ANT: Ooo.
Jessie: To denounce the evils of
truth and love.
James: To extend our reach to the stars above.
CAT:
(As Jessie) Owie! The stars are really hot! James, get the oven
gloves!
Jessie: Jessie.
DEC: Really? Jessie says
"Jessie"?
James: James.
DEC: Amazing! They know their own
names!
ANT: I bet Meowth has to remind James all the time, though.
CAT:
(As James, dumb) Duh, Petula?
DEC: (As Meowth, patiently) No, no, no. Let’s
try again.
Jessie: Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light.
James: Surrender now or prepare to --
Meowth: Hyah!
DEC:
(Meowth, friendly) Hyah! How y’all doing?
CAT: Prepare to hyah?
Wha?
(hits both with a rubber mallet)
James: Ooohh...
Jessie:
Aaahh...
ANT: Ahem.
DEC: Fairly scary if taken out of
context.
CAT: Wha? Are they a couple, or is it just you two being
perverts?
DEC: It’s just him.
Meowth: Cut the poetry! I bet you two
clowns didn’t even plant the dynamite like you were supposed to!!
CAT:
(as Meowth) You made balloon animals, didn’t you?!?
Jessie: Wrong again
furball! (Jessie takes the mallet and hits Meowth into a wall, and when he falls
out, rocks fall on him)
Jessie: Of course we planted the dynamite.
CAT: (as Jessie) Give it plenty of water, and soon you’ll have your own
dynamite tree.
DEC: If you don’t have room in your garden for a dynamite
tree, you can always get a Dynamite Chia Pet.
James: Once we blast
Grandpa Canyon to smithereens,
ANT: GRANDPA Canyon?
ANT: Is there a
Grandma Canyon?
DEC: And a Brother Canyon?
CAT: And a second niece three
times removed on your father’s side Canyon?
DEC: Those would make for
interesting family reunions.
ANT: See that fine figure of a crevice there,
Young Billy Canyon? That’s your Aunt Edna Canyon.
we’ll be able to scoop
up all those Pokéfossils.
CAT: Pokefossils?
ANT: Yup, Pokeballs,
Pokeflutes, Pokechow, and Pokecrap, much like this show.
DEC: Language,
Anthony.
(Meowth pops out of the rock pile)
Meowth: Next time, I’ll
make fossils outta you!!
DEC: (as Meowth)Yeah, next time, I’ll layer
dead plants and animals on you over millions of years until the sediments are
compressed to form rock with a print of your skeleton embedded in them!
ANT:
Somebody’s been reading their encyclopedia.
CAT: Coo, when Meowth takes
revenge, he takes revenge.
Misty: Did you hear that? They’re going to
blow up this whole canyon!
Brock: All the people who are digging here are
going to get caught in the blast!
Ash: Pikachu and I will stop them, you two
spread the word to run for it, there’s no time to lose!!
Brock: Let’s go!
(Misty and Brock run off, Ash and Pikachu run up to Team Rocket)
CAT:
What the heck kind of name is `Misty`? Is she a Pokémon trainer by day and a
stripper by night?
DEC: (As Jennifer Beales (Flashdance)) I’m a welder by day
and a dancer by night!
ANT: What a feeling.
Meowth: (laughs) Pretty
soon we’ll have all da Pokémon fossils to ourselves.
Ash: Hold it right
there!!
CAT: (as Ash) No, a little to the left… up a bit… yeah, right
there!
James: Oh, it’s that pest again!
Jessie: Always messing up our
plans!
DEC: (as James)All of those clever hole-digging, net throwing
plans, ruined!
Meowth: But dis time you’re too late! Da fuse is already
lit!
ANT: (Meowth as Ali G) Respect to da fuse.
DEC: For
real.
(Ash sees the fuse)
CAT: Da fuse.
Ash: Whoa! I gotta
stop them!! (pulls out a Pokéball)
DEC: See, Pokeball.
ANT:
Poke-sh-
CAT: I said NO! Censorship, right?
Ash: Squirtle, I choose
you!
Squirtle: Squirtle squirt!
DEC: A valid point Squirtle
makes.
Ash: There’s no time to lose, Squirtle, squirt out that fuse!
Squirtle: Squirtle! Squirtle! (uses water gun several times, but misses)
ALL: D’oh!
DEC: Bad form, old chap.
Ash: Squirtle! After it!
(Squirtle, Ash, and Pikachu chase after the fuse)
Squirtle: Squirtle!
uirtle.(slides down hill) Squirtle!
ANT: Too… many… Squirtles…
CAT:
I’m getting a migrane!
Pikachu: Pika!
Jessie: Arbok, go! (throws
Pokéball)
James: Go Weezing! Keep that fuse lit! (throws Pokéball)
Weezing: Weeeezing!
Arbok: Chaaarrbok!
DEC: Did you know that
Ekans is `Snake` backwards? And Arbok is `Kobra`?
CAT: Yes, actually.
ANT:
I worked that out ages ago. Why, have you only just noticed?
DEC:
(embarassed) Uhm, no…
Squirtle: Squirtle squirtle.
Ash: You can do it
Squirtle!
(Team Rocket starts chasing after the fuse too)
CAT: (Hums
the Benny Hill chasing type tune)
Meowth: Aaah! Stop that squirt!
ANT: Ash or the Squirtle? Hehe.
OTHERS: (groan)
ANT: What?
What?
DEC: Don’t try so hard.
Ash: Keep Squirting!!
James:
Quickly!
Meowth: Doooon’t let it da fuse!
DEC: Let it what the
fuse?
ANT: Eat the fuse?
CAT: Recruit the force to the police
force?
DEC: Marinade the fuse in a light lemon sauce?
James: Come on,
they’re getting away!
Jessie: Hurry you slowPokés!
DEC: Aww,
geez.
ANT: Jessie, you’re better than that joke. Come with me, and we can
make better jokes together…
CAT: Cartoon character, Ant. Cartoon.
Ash:
You gotta put it out somehow!!
Meowth: You’re running like slugs!
DEC: Slugs can pick up quite the pace when they want to.
CAT: Were
you a slug-racer as a lad, then?
ANT: Sad to say, he was.
CAT: Hmm. You
learn something new everyday in space.
Jessie: Faster Arbok!
Ash:
There’s not much time!
Meowth: Hurry up Weezing!
ANT: What’s Weezing
spelt backwards then? Another hilarious pun?
DEC: Uhm, Gnizeew. Yeah, that’s
right.
ANT: (annoyed) Gnizeew?!?
DEC: It’s a type of Antelope.
CAT:
…
James: Weezing, sludge attack now. (trips on a rock, hits Jessie then
Meowth and start rolling down the mountain)
ALL: D’oh!
ANT: (sings)
Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’….
CAT: (sings) Rawhide! (makes whip crack
noise)
Meowth: Aaaaa!! (when sees James and Jessie falling on him)
Pikachu: Pika pika pika.
Ash: We’re not going to get it. Huh? (turns
around and sees Team Rocket rolling towards him) Ohh, look out!!
Pikachu:
(looks behind him and eyes get big)
DEC: Doctor dilated my pupils, can’t
help you.
ANT: (Coughs. Sounds a lot like `Stolen`)
DEC: I never!
ANT:
Random coincidence that that line happens to appear in the MST3K episode,
`Prince of Space`?
DEC: Domo sumimasen.
ANT: Stop that.
DEC: Hee
hee.
Pika!
(Team Rocket hits Ash, Pikachu, and Squirtle and they all
roll off the edge and bounce down ledges to the bottom in a ball of people and
Pokémon)
All: Oohhh...
ANT: Jessie and James are at it
again!
DEC: (Meowth) Not in public, youse two! Am I gonna have to whack
yez?
ANT: No! You’re better than him, Jessie! You can do better than that
cross-dressing spaz!
DEC: For instance…
ANT: How about a real man from
Newcastle? I’d never wear a skirt.
DEC: Is that so, Madame Zora?
ANT: I
can’t believe you’re bringing that up.
DEC: (Giggles)
ANT: You did too,
anyhow. More than once.
(Author’s note: I know, I know. I’m going into the
realm of fandom again. Few people will have any clue what the Zora thing comes
from. It was from Ant and Dec’s old programme. Mad, it was.)
DEC: Hey! I
don’t cross-dress!
CAT: I seem to recall you dressed as Misty, wearing a
Westlife shirt.
ANT: And don’t you remember that little blue sparkly
thing-
DEC: …
Squirtle: Squirtle
Pikachu: Pi... ka... chu....
Ash: Aaaaa... (sees the fuse)
Ash: No!! The dynamite!!!
ANT: Yes
Ash. It was there all the time, you know. We can see it too.
(close up on
the dynamite)
CAT: We have a point to prove, and dammit, we’re going to
prove it. Dynamite, see?
All: Aaaaahhhhh!!!!!(everyone sees how close
they are to it)
CAT: To what? Is there dynamite here or
something?
Pikachu: Pika!
(everyone starts wiggling to get out of the
heap)
Pikachu: Pi! (pops out)
ANT: (lewdly) Ahem.
CAT:
NO!
ANT: I didn’t say anything! Just cleared my throat, like.
CAT: It was
the way you did it!
Squirtle: Squirtle!
DEC: Now there’s a
shock.
Pikachu: Pi-ka--chu!!!! (sends a bolt of thunder to the dynamite)
ALL: WHAT?
CAT: Huh, that’ll stop it.
DEC: Pikachu obviously
went to the same `Dynamite Awareness` class that Ash did.
(everyone stops
moving in shock that Pikachu did that)
ANT: (as Ash) Pikachu, you
dumbass! Even I wouldn’t do that, and I tried to electrocute a rock Pokémon!
DEC: (as Jessie) Let’s try to steal a smarter Pokémon from now on. I hear
Brock has a nice Vulpix.
ANT: (as James) Yeah, the boss can pick up his own
from a pet store.
CAT: That’s what happens when you give irresponsible
rodents high voltages.
Pikachu: Chaa! (happy with sweatdrop)
(the
dynamite explodes and makes a huge crack right under everyone, which of course
they fall into)
DEC: Of course.
All: Aaaaahhhhh!! (rocks fall and
cover the hole)
(underground, everyone starts to wake up from the fall)
Ash: Hmmmm.... uhhhh
Pikachu: Pika....
James: Ooohhh....
DEC: There they go again…
ANT: (as Jessie) Oh James. Ohhhh.
DEC:
It could be James and anybody in the cave, you know. You read some very scary
lemons. Last one I saw was James and Brock…
CAT: STOP IT! RIGHT NOW! Both of
you are on thin ice.
where are we?
Jessie: Looks like we got blown
all the way to the moon.
DEC: Huh.
CAT: Since when did the Moon have
a roof?
ANT: And oxygen enough?
DEC: Maybe they’re in the Moon Kingdom.
They all breathed fine there.
OTHERS: ???
DEC: Sailor Moon, it’s - eh,
forget it.
Meowth: Or down to the center of the earth.
James: Hmm?
Jessie: Huh?
ANT: (happily) Ohh. Ahhhhh.
CAT: …(veins appear on
her forehead. She mumbles something about the last straw)
Meowth: This is
a cave. The dynamite must of blown a hole in da roof and we fell in. We must be
buried deep under da earth’s crust.
DEC: (as Meowth, gangster accent)
Big Frankie must’a set it up! He said I’d be sleepin’ wid’ da
fishes!
James & Jessie: (gets up) Buried??
CAT: Don’t you
just love the way this is written? Jessie and James actions being used as if
they are one person.
ANT: Siamese twins, perhaps?
DEC: You’ve probably
given a sick author an idea for a lemon, now.
CAT: (makes gagging noises over
the side of the seat)
ANT: Eurgh! They write that kind of thing?
DEC: I’ve
heard worse. There was this one with this guy and Artemis the cat. And another
with Ash and -
CAT: I don’t want to hear it, Declan.
ANT: (whispers to
Dec) Who?
DEC: (whispers) Pikachu.
ANT: Urp…
***Ant rushes into the
corridor to be sick. He returns, being unable to breathe without
oxygen.***
CAT: You’re going to have to learn one day that you need air to
live, Anthony.
ANT: (Gasps for air) Uh… huh….
Jessie: This is all your
fault, you twerp!
James: If you hadn’t tried to put out that fuse, we never
would have fallen down here!!
Ash: (gets up) Hey!! You’re the crooks who
planted all that dynamite up there in the first place!
Pikachu: Pi ka chu!
DEC: Pi ka chu. A valid point, we must all agree.
OTHERS: (murmur
argeement)
ANT: Pikachu makes me feel incredibly sick now, thank you very
much.
DEC: You asked, didn’t you? I merely responded with the
truth.
Meowth: What difference does it make, who got us down here?!? All
that matters is getting outta here in one piece!! Look up dere!
CAT:
Dere’s a bear! Combing its hair! That’s not fair! Why doesn’t it share?
ANT:
Thank you, little miss Suess.
All: Huh? (everyone looks up)
Ash:
Aaaaa!
James: Eeeeee!
ANT: Ash and James? Not those two now!
DEC:
Leave it to you to turn a fairly innocent Anime into a lemon.
CAT: Now I’ve
had enough!
***Cat leaps at Ant, and a fight breaks out. Eventually Dec
manages to separate them***
CAT: (cracks her knuckles whist scowling at
Ant)
ANT: (rubbing his left eye and sitting back down) Oww!
DEC: (sits
down) Keep it down, will you?!? Pikachu might say `Pika` again!
ANT: Ooh, me
eye! You nasty girl.
CAT: (growling) Watch what you say. I have a weak
stomach.
DEC: (giggles at her) Wuss!
CAT: (raises fist again) I don’t mind
blood, however.
DEC: I’ll be good.
Ash: The roof of the cave is
blocked!!
James: Hmmm, mmm, mmmm, mmmm.
DEC: James ate a jar of
peanut butter and his mouth is gummed up!
CAT: Oooh, I hate that.
ANT:
Ooow. My eye still hurts.
DEC: (dully) There there. Poor Ant.
Jessie:
James, it sounds like you have an answer to our problem.
James: (looks at
her) Hmmm? We’re all doomed.
Jessie: Huh? (hits him)
CAT: The fact
that he’s a complete puss hits James, and he bashes his own head in with a rock.
The end.
DEC: (as Jessie) Oh, I was gonna bash in his head next week! Ah
well, one less job to do.
That’s not the answer I wanted to hear.
Ash: There must be same way out.
Pikachu: Chu...... Pi?
Ash: What’s
up Pikachu?
Pikachu: Pika pika! (points)
CAT: (As Ash) Oh, the roof.
The roof is up! Good joke, Pikachu!
DEC: (as Pikachu) Pika pi pi pika?
Pikachu, chu pi!
ANT: (as Jessie, shocked) Such bad language from a Pikachu.
Who taught you that nasty joke?
CAT: (as Ash) Uhh, I don’t get
it…
Ash: Huh? (sees red eyes in the distance)
(Jessie holds on to
James)
CAT: …
ANT: I’m not going to say it. I want the sight in at
least one eye.
Jessie: I don’t think we’re in here alone.
(everyone
looks at the eyes)
Ash: What are they?
ANT: I bet Gary would know
what they are.
DEC: Ash is so much better than Gary.
ANT: Is not!
DEC:
Is too!
(sees outlines and red eyes, then all the Pokémon)
(Commercial Break)
DEC: Watch our show! It’s the best!
ANT: We
can’t make it anymore, though, can we? We’re lost in time and space.
CAT:
They’ll probably get some annoying pop personalities to fill in for us, and the
ratings’ll go down the loo.
ANT: When we went on holiday, the Spice Girls
filled in.
DEC: NOOO!
GIOVANNI: (voiceover) MWHAHAHAH!!!
ALL:
Eeek!
DEC: (shocked) Whoa, he can do that?
ANT: Evidently.
GIOVANNI:
Due to union rules, you may now take a short recess.
ANT: (whispers) We’re in
a union?
DEC: (whispers) I don’t think so. Just don’t tell him.
CAT: Oh,
goody, we get the oxygen back now, huh?
GIOVANNI: I suppose. If you
insist.
ANT: Gary’s still better though.
DEC: Is not!
ANT: I challenge
you to an Anime deathmatch in Gary’s honour!
DEC: I accept, in Ash’s
honour!
CAT: Oh, fu…
***All stand up and exit the theatre***
=^0^=
(Back in the main room of the SoL) ***Ant is wearing a blue
shirt with large shoulder pads that far exceed his actual shoulders. Dec,
disturbingly, is wearing a Sailor Senshi suit. Cat is wearing a yellow jacket
and black outfit. She is also wearing a turquoise wig.***
Cat grins in our
general direction. "Hi everybody! We’re back on the main deck of the Satellite
to bring you a world exclusive Anime deathmatch!" She makes a sweeping motion in
the direction of a hastily constructed ring, literally a few ropes pinned into a
square with four potted plants.
"In the right corner, fighting for Ash
Ketchum, next to my favourite fern, is the… umm… exceedingly worrying Sailor
Geordie!"
Dec gives a little wave in our general direction. He looks a little
sheepish, rightly so.
"And in the left corner, fighting for Gary Oak, next to
a bathroom plant that I’m not too fond of, is the Fist of the Northern England
Star!"
Ant did a small series of Power-Rangers style kung fu moves and yelled
"Many Kicking Attack! Of the Northern England Star!" A line or two of Japanese
text appeared below him.
Dec’s mouth gaped open. "What? He’s the Fist of the
North Star, who can explode people’s heads, and I’m a bloody magical girl? I
call mistrial! Unfair!"
Cat gave him a smarmy grin. "You called it,
Declan."
"Fine. But I call the first shot."
Ant grinned. "I’m OK with
that. Let’s go!"
Declan did a spinny, swirly type twirl, and yelled, "Geordie
Kebab Attack!", as a stream of unidentifiable meat stuff flew at Ant out of
nowhere.
"Ack! Really Snide Put-down! Of the Northern England Star!" Ant
yelled in response. Another line of text appeared near his feet. He swore and
kicked it away. "You look fat in that skirt!" he yelled. Declan reeled back from
this hit.
"I never do! Geordie Stiletto Crash!" Following the kebab crap, a
thousand pairs of patent black stilettos raced towards Ant. He ducked, and the
shoes hit the wall.
He glared at his opponent. "You will never defeat me!
Hah! Insane Running About and Waving My Arms Charge! Of the Northern England
Star!"
And so the attacks continued, blowing more and more holes in the side
of the ship.
Cat, was getting pissed off, knowing that she’d have to clear up
after them. She was desperately trying to remember if Bulma ever did anything
useful. She came to a conclusion. She’d cheat. And she fired a kamekahah at the
fighters.
Eventually the smoke cleared, revealing the lads, both slightly
unconscious.
"Owie." muttered Declan, as he eventually came round. "Bulma
can’t do that, dammit…"
"Urm, she learnt. Yeah. From Vegeta. Yeah." she
explained, just as the Anime light began to flash. "We got Anime sign…" murmured
Ant, before collapsing again.
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