So… you thought that Kate would be exempt from a good MST’ing, eh? Foolish person. Well, being currently in the throes of bleak depression, which will be gone in about, ooh, half an hour, and seeing as I’m bored senseless and confused and scared, why not? A MST! A good MST! Well, maybe not the last one.
Ok, it’s the day after. I’m no longer depressed, but sod it, I’ll carry on anyway.
*is “a bit weird”*
-A
“Mine!”
“No, mine!”
“I think you’ll find it’s mine!”
The three tussling figures fought over the strange jar. Spike leapt from the fray, clutching the cookie jar, and made a lunge for the kitchen door. Seeing this, Jesse took a carefully calculated shot with a small loofah used for scrubbing pots. The scrubbing instrument hit the vampire on the back of the head. Dazed but unharmed, Spike fled the fight, leaving Jesse and Ant to battle over the last few Rich Teas left scattered in the cupboard.
“Damn… we have to stop that bloody vamp stealing the jar, or our cookie supply is doomed!” mused Ant, as he forlornly traced his finger around the outline in the crumbs of the jar.
“I would have got him, if you hadn’t been tangled at my feet like some sort of pathetic puppy!” raged Jesse. She was forced to content herself with an old shortbread they had found propping up a table.
Meanwhile, Spike was busy finishing up the last of the Triple Choc Chip cookies with Vegeta, in what used to be the broom cupboard of the SoL. However, all this surreptitious activity in there meant that Giovanni had installed a security camera, in the vague hope of catching a couple of the crew at it, so all who had business of any sort avoided the cupboard. Spike, seeing an opportunity, immediately seized control of the closet, and could often be seen coming out of it by an observant watcher.
“Nice work, my friend! Those gormless morons didn’t see this one coming…” cheered Vegeta, through a mouthful of cookie.
“Well, who’s idea was it to cause a diversion? To our enterprise!” replied a very sugar-high Spike.
+++
“Hmm. A trap, you say?”
Aoi and Scott had been employed by Ant and Jesse to try to help them foil the evil biscuit thieves. So far, they had not had much success, with The Ingenious Mousetrap, The Large Plastic Lobster On A String, and of course the ever-present Big Fuckoff Hole In The Ground Thinly Disguised With Shrubbery.
“Well, have you tried digging a huge hole in the ground and covering it with leaves?” offered Scott, his feet tapping to an imaginary tune.
“Or you could suspend an enormous plastic lobster above the jar!” offered Aoi, also dancing to the tune.
“Hmm… thanks guys, but we’ve already tried them. Any OTHER plans?” asked Ant, struggling to contain his contempt.
“We-ee-eeell… try this one…” Scott leaned in close, still somehow dancing. Jesse and Ant watched for a while, then left Aoi and Scott and went to look for Dec and Cat.
They were, unfortunately, interrupted by a large “BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART!” from the FicAlarm. The crew assembled in the living room.
“I am disappointed in your slovenliness at arriving in this room, crew members…” snapped Dr Evil.
“Uh, sorry sir, it won’t happen again…” replied Dec sheepishly, staring at his shoes, and hoping that “the lazy eyed psycho” hadn’t noticed the odd looks the Spike and Vegeta were receiving as they sloped into the room like sloping slopey slopers.
“Slovenliness? That word hasn’t even been invented yet. Ass.” retaliated Scott, glaring at his father.
“Is that my idiot son I hear squawking (yes yes Mustapha, I am aware of the joke there stop laughing now)?” drawled Evil. “No matter, you’re the first in for this offering, by ‘Blue’”.
“Aw, dammit!” yelled Scott, and stormed off to the theatre with Aoi, Spike and Vegeta in tow.
[The crew enter the theatre. Scott is muttering about “slovenliness”, Aoi is STILL dancing silently, Spike is wiping crumbs off his face and Vegeta is merely looking smug. They sit down.]
A Fairly Average Pokémon Fanfic
By Blue
AOI: Pathetic boy band music, and now fanfic writing! Will their wonders never cease?
SPIKE: This seems somehow wrong.
Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine, not mine! It’s all Nintendo’s, Game Freak’s,
SCOTT: Read: Loder
AOI: *giggles*
and a million other bits.
Overview: During a day at the beach, Satoshi-tachi turn evil, and try to steal
Nyase. It should be a comedy, if my stuffy British humour will allow.
VEGETA: SMTV live!
SCOTT: The League Of Gentlemen!
SPIKE: Just about the whole of the MST boards!
AOI: Insipid! *sees glares* What? What?
This is my first fanfic so don’t expect much!
SCOTT: Don’t... DON’T EXPECT MUCH? Are you MAD? Do you not KNOW what this will BECOME?
AOI: Foolish girl! Do you not know that you will someday become The Only Webmaster? With the only operational website in existence?
SPIKE: No.
I’m English, so when it comes to it, I’m going to use English spellings. Deal with it, that’s how the spell checker operates. However, I’m using Japanese names.
VEGETA: *as author* …just to piss me off and make my job harder!
SPIKE: He isn’t bitter, oh no.
No suffixes, I’m afraid, I can’t do them and I’m not going to try, I’d only look like an idiot.
AOI: More so.
Oh, and I didn’t
know Nurse Joy’s Japanese name, so I left it as Joy. Ahem. @^_^@
If you like, hate, want more, want less,
SCOTT: Want less? How does that work, you suck it out of their eyes again?
AOI: Shush.
whatever, email me at dittoblue30@yahoo.co.uk
Three figures are standing on one of Seafoam island’s many exotic beaches.
White sand and blue seas surround them. Anybody else would be in complete
luxury, but not these three.
"Nyase wants a Double Chocolate Magnum!" screeched a high-pitched
voice, piecing the perfect silence.
VEGETA: Joanna Dark is sacked for the sequel to Perfect Dark, and is replaced by Joanna Silence.
"Argh! We’re not here for ice cream!" snapped a female voice. There
was a thwack, almost like the sound of a paper fan hitting somebody sharply.
"Actually, ice cream sounds quite good. We were pedalling that submarine
for hours!"
SPIKE: Now, to someone who didn’t know owt about Team Rocket, that’d confuse them.
SCOTT: For people who DO know owt about Team Rocket, that’d confuse them.
This was a third voice, whining more than the last two.
SCOTT: Loder again.
AOI: *giggles again*
There was the noise again, followed by a squeal of "Oww! That hurt!"
SCOTT: The similarities just pile up!
"At least it wasn’t da bazooka." retorted the first voice.
SPIKE: *gibbers*
VEGETA: Oh come on, you can’t expect a mental picture like that to have no effect, can you? Shame on you!
SCOTT: *slyly* Especially when it’s L- *elbowed by Aoi, who is convulsing with giggles*
Musashi was thoroughly fed up. Kojiro was right, they had been pedalling for
some time. It took them another half-hour to hide the damn awkward thing. It’s
hard enough to conceal something that big, never mind the fact that it was Gyrados
shaped.
SPIKE: Heh heh heh…
AOI: Behave!
"Can’t we relax for a while? Pleeease?" wheedled Kojiro. All he
wanted was a nice long rest. After several failed attempts to catch Pikachu, he
was feeling a bit depressed, as anybody would who had lost repeatedly to a ten
year old dumbass with a statically-charged rat and a lot of blind luck. Musashi
softened.
AOI: “Her eyes met with Kojiro’s, and her towel dropped to the ground…”
VEGETA: Or: not.
"OK. For a while. But we have to remember why we’re here, so keep your
eyes peeled for that twerp. I need to top up my tan anyway."
SCOTT: (as Musashi) “Yup, the tanks almost empty… should have topped it up at the last Skin Service stop we passed, but SOMEONE wanted a double chocolate magnum, didn’t they?”
She whipped off her uniform to reveal a black bikini underneath. Kojiro did the same.
SPIKE: What, Kojiro whipped off Musashi’s uniform?
VEGETA: Blimey, she’s written a lemon!
"Ahh! Nyase doesn’t wanna see dis!"
SCOTT: Dis: the final level of Doom, and also the level where you finally get to meet, greet and skeet from the Spider Mastermind! Funny ol’ world, innit?
the cat Pokémon wailed. "No cross-dressing today!"
VEGETA: (as Meowth) ‘Tisn’t Wednesday.
"Spoilsport. Can I keep the sarong?" asked Kojiro.
"NO!"
Musashi rolled her eyes at her two colleagues. She really did wonder about that
boy. Nice legs, though.
SPIKE: Wayhey! *wolf whistles* He’s got… legs!
If he had a good black dress, the drape could be sorted out to really flatter his figure.
AOI: Do you think Musashi realises the subtle differences between girlies and boys now? I mean, come on… next she’ll stroke Brock’s face and call him sailor!
SCOTT: What?
She coughed abruptly, shook herself, and pulled out three towels from the bulky beach bag. She also found, to her disgust,
VEGETA: (as narrator) A live ostrich!
SPIKE: (likewise) A vial of ostrich semen!
AOI: (likewise) Blink 182 CD’s!
SCOTT: (likewise) The entire printed-out insipid saga!
VEGETA (likewise) Hmm, maybe a PLUG?
a red plastic bucket and a similar spade. Sighing, she tossed them aside, and began to lay out their towels on the beach.
SCOTT: As it’s quite plain to see that Musashi is a packhorse in disguise, I mean, god forbid James and Meowth be trusted with, I dunno, THEIR OWN TOWELS…
AOI: Are you mad? The giving of a towel is a mark of sacred respect in Rocket circles!
SPIKE: As is dousing ones hair in alcoholic custard.
=^0^=
Meanwhile, Satoshi and company were wandering aimlessly towards the beach.
SCOTT: For plot purposes, natch.
AOI: Or to buy Double Chocolate Magnums.
VEGETA: (as advertising agent) Double Chocolate Magnums! The gun with the taste!
"I wonder where Team Rocket are?" mused Kasumi. "They’ve usually
interfered by now."
SPIKE: Hey, don’t guns taste of iron and oil and stuff?
VEGETA: Shut up.
Satoshi laughed. "Maybe they’ve given up! They know they can’t separate
Pikachu and me! Hah hah!"
VEGETA: (as Satoshi) We’ve been surgically attached by a length of cord! Hah hah!
SPIKE: How is that surgically attached?
VEGETA: It just is. Shut up.
"Pika chu pika…" Pikachu replied (Translation: I hope they do, before
I pull Satoshi’s head off...)
AOI: Because the pulling power of a small yellow mouse is famed for being able to separate vertebrae, obviously.
SPIKE: The pulling power of a small yellow mouse? What bars do you go to, may I ask?
AOI: Oh, shush.
. He leapt up onto his shoulders, thought better of it, and continued to walk alongside Takeshi.
SCOTT: At shoulder height?
"I’ve been thinking about that. What would happen if we decided to strike
first?" said Takeshi. "A pre-emptive strike?" asked Kasumi.
"A what? Is that a new type of Pokémon attack?" Satoshi asked
eagerly.
VEGETA: (as narrator) Then a Primape came and beat the living tar out of Satoshi, and there was much rejoicing. Misty married Brock, and they had many little Brocklings. The end.
Pikachu cursed under his breath. It had been a long year since Satoshi had taken him,
SCOTT: Yes, the best way of controlling your Pokémon is to starve them of sex until they do as you bid.
AOI: Eew. S’Kat the Jynx again.
SPIKE: Now that WAS twisted.
SCOTT: Hey, Vegeta, you could try doing that with Spike…
*both him and Aoi giggle madly*
VEGETA: Hey!
and it showed no signs of getting any better. Kasumi blanked Satoshi completely. "What for? They have nothing we want. Except that cute little sparkly number Kojiro has."
VEGETA: (as Kasumi) Yeah, I’ve got five and seven, now I need his hologramatic Twenty Six.
SPIKE: The New Anoon! Gotta collect all the numbers!
SCOTT: So, would you feel rather cheated when you get a sixty three and your best mat gets a forged 6.8x1066 ?
AOI: Oh, for those that aren’t good at maths, that number is 68000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000.
VEGETA: Gotta… catch…them… all…but…there...are… So… many….
"Not that. What about their Nyase? I bet a Pokémon researcher would pay a
bundle to study a talking Pokémon." suggested Takeshi.
AOI: (as Kasumi) No, give em Satoshi, they’ll pay more for a talking asshole.
"I think Kojiro and Musashi would pay us to take it."
SPIKE: (as Satoshi) So. Kojiro and Musashi will pay good money for me to take Nyase? I’m there!
"How about we try it, then? I’ve always wanted to be evil."
VEGETA: And a vile poképhiliac.
Takeshi grinned unpleasantly. Kasumi replied with a similar grin.
SCOTT: What would an online convo between those two be like?
VEGETA: Hmm. Possibly along these lines… ahem. Grin grin grin, :P, grin.
SCOTT: Why do I even bother?
VEGETA: Actually, why would Brock and Misty be talking online?
AOI: “Oh Badgerman, you’re so understanding!” “Sure, sure, WaterWoman. Wanna meet up?”
SCOTT: Brock, the internet peadobadger. Interesting.
"Hey, and if we get caught, we can pin the blame on Satoshi. Say he was the mastermind behind it all." They both looked at Satoshi, who was looking into the middle distance, practising his `I caught a Pokémon!’ poses.
AOI: Shyeah, like he’s gonna need that.
SPIKE: This whilst walking?
VEGETA: Eh, who cares, he ain’t gonna catch any ‘mons in the near future. Or
ever.
SPIKE: Hey, this whilst walking?
He was muttering Pokémon names under his breath, a familiar vacant expression on his face.
SCOTT: Such as when Kasumi and Takeshi catch him hunched up in his sleeping bag, with Dexter open wide in front of him…
AOI: Offspring/Pokémon slash. Not nice, stop now, bad meanhead thingy makes head hurt.
SCOTT: I meant the Pok- oh. Urgh.
"Sounds like a plan!" Takeshi agreed. Pikachu nodded happily.
"Chu!"
SPIKE: (as Pikachu) Mouse! Spark! Sparkmouse! Mouuuuuuuse! That’s what it means!
VEGETA: The Pokémon language is remarkably compact. Here, Spike requested a seventy-litre bucket of shoelace-flavoured ice cream.
SPIKE: *glaring* Moooouuuuse!
VEGETA: Language!
=^0^=
Musashi finished off her ice cream. As she licked the stick clean of any
chocolate remains,
SCOTT: And whilst Kojiro struggled to hide a quiet enormous e-
AOI: Stop!
SCOTT: *innocently* -gg sandwich. What?
she watched Nyase and Kojiro playing in the sand with the tiny bucket and spade. She pushed her glasses onto the top of her head
VEGETA: Where they would slowly be absorbed into her brain, creating a new race of superglasses!
and settled down to watch. They were engaged in a death-match for the spade.
AOI: A strangely none-fatal death match, isn’t it?
SPIKE: Quiet, it’s getting good.
"I want it! I want to dig for Shelders!" yelled Kojiro. "No way! I wanna make a sand-castle!" screamed Nyase, snatching the spade and scratch-attacking his opponent.
SCOTT: Naturally, having no opposable thumbs, Nyase will have absolutely no difficulty in using a small plastic stick designed for toddlers.
AOI: Naturally.
"Hey!" said Kojiro, patting the red scratches on
his face. "Weezing, go! Sludge attack him!"
"Wee-zing!" wheezed the poison Pokémon.
AOI: Inspired synonym use. Or not. “Koffing” coughed the Koffing. “Chu!” chu’d the bastard and so forth.
"Calling on your toxic balloon to help you?
SPIKE: Heh heh…
AOI: *distressed* That’s a… quaint way of saying it…
No way! Dat spade is
mine!" Nyase dodged a sludge attack with relative ease, and aimed a
scratch at one of Weezing’s faces.
Musashi sighed as the battle raged on. One colleague, old enough to know
better, wanted a small plastic spade that had the capacity of a dessert spoon
SCOTT: A rather large, plastic, red spoon, yes?
and the digging power of a dead Tentacool.
AOI: In fact, dead Tentacools were used in gangs in Japan to dig huge fallout shelters, so don’t diss.
The other colleague wanted to make sandcastles. No doubt ones with moats. She pushed her sunglasses back onto her nose and snuggled down further into her beach towel,
SPIKE: With battery compartment, I’ll bet.
AOI: Stop it, you pervert!
SPIKE: *grins*
looking up at the sky, deep in thought. A distinctive yowling told her that one or the other had successfully dug a hole with the spade and buried the other one in it.
SCOTT: As the difference between the voices of Nyase and Kojiro is negligible.
Watching Nyase
walking past her, a triumphant grin on his face, holding the plastic digger
aloft, she decided she probably had to go and dig Kojiro out. She got to her
feet slowly, annoyed that her peace had been ruined.
"Nyase, do you remember where you buried him?"
"Uhh…"
VEGETA: (as Musashi) Dammit, Nyase, that’s the third person you’ve condemned to a horrible death by slow suffocation for a petty crime that wouldn’t warrant a telling off!
=^0^=
Satoshi-tachi were crouched behind a sand bank
AOI: In ‘Nam.
, watching our heroes. "Funny how we could find them so
fast." murmured Takeshi under his breath.
"The bad guys always can. Artistic license, isn’t it?" whispered
Kasumi. "Let’s get to it."
AOI: More slash? Bloody hell… someone should really talk to Blue, she’s got a nasty obsession with Pokémon characters shafting each other…
The terrible trio leapt out from behind the bank to face Team Rocket, posing
furiously.
SCOTT: (as a commentator) And Takeshi has a good start with a swift neap and triple tuck Chest-Thrust-Out pose but Satsoshi has a Pokémon-Master-In-Training pose raring to go AND it looks like this is a two man race Kasumi’s pose has gone RIGHT off she’ll be lucky to salvage a Stumbling-Slightly with two turns from that.
VEGETA: Yeah, Mick, that is *naïve* posing there. Let’s take another look at that, and you can see HERE her foot was obstructed by Satoshi who took the opportunity to ogle her.
"We’re here for your Nyase!" yelled Satoshi. "and you can’t stop
us, because we have the ultimate weapon!"
SCOTT: The NASDA orbital laser defence system?
VEGETA: A Warbot Mk IV? What, no-one’s heard of Paranoia?
SPIKE: The Grey Death?
AOI: Crom Faeyr?
SCOTT: What?
AOI: I play Baldurs Gate, ok? Is that a sin?
SPIKE: Yes.
Musashi got to her feet. She and Nyase had been crouched in front of a hole
SCOTT: Read: Satoshi.
in the sand. She turned to them. For her credit, she didn’t laugh out loud at their poses and fake menacing manner. She kept a straight face
SPIKE: In a box at home, for when she’s… lonely.
VEGETA: Or when she needs kissing practice.
, but barely. "What’s that? One of your three
Pokémon?" she asked dryly.
"Yeah, a turtle, a tulip bulb and a rat." sneered Nyase.
AOI: Who is a small bipedal cat.
Kojiro would have used a snide comeback too, if he wasn’t busy climbing out of the hole and spitting out sand.
VEGETA: Eew. Scott, damn you.
"What’s wrong with my-" began Satoshi indignantly.
AOI: (as doctor) Sorry son, it’s infected, we’ll have to take it off. Pop it on the slab, now where’s my cleaver…
"We have Satoshi’s blind luck on our side! Now hand over the Nyase, twerp,
before we get nasty!" interrupted Kasumi. She added a small
"Grr" on the end, for effect.
SPIKE: And to see if Musashi was interested in a little tête-à-tête later.
SCOTT: What’s this obsession with homosexuality?
SPIKE: …
"WE never growl!" spluttered Kojiro.
AOI: (as Kojiro) Our relationship has gone downhill since you met that “L-
SCOTT: Don’t go there, seriously!
AOI: -arry”. What did you think I was gonna say?
SPIKE: Oh, and for those that are confused, t’ain’t “Loder”…
Nyase looked around
worriedly.
"Nyase? Why me?"
SPIKE: (as Kasumi) Because, Nyase, we need you to teach us to talk about ourselves in the third person!
Kojiro, half in, half out of the hole, began to consider the prospect of
growling.
SCOTT: No, please god no…
He couldn’t recall
it being in any Team Rocket booklets. "Grr?" he offered meekly.
"Forget that!" snarled Musashi, striking a pose of her own. "We
want that Pikachu!"
"Pika! Pika!" cheered Pikachu (translation: Take me! Please!).
VEGETA: Dammit Blue, stop writing slash! Sick perverted evil demon vileness! Bet she hasn’t got a boyfriend.
"We’re not getting anywhere here!" interjected Kasumi. She looked
round to Takeshi, who was being uncharacteristically quiet. "Uhh…" he
mumbled, staring at Musashi in her slinky black bikini.
SPIKE: Maybe she has a girlfriend.
He was drooling slightly, she noticed. "AH-hem!" she coughed loudly. "Uhh, yeah, we’re here for your bi- err, Nyase.
VEGETA: Nyase is bisexual?
Umm. My, you look g-good today, M-Musashi…"
SCOTT: Of course, we’ve all been there before.
ALL: …
SCOTT: Haven’t we?
AOI: *raising hand* I have!
SCOTT: Really?
AOI: No.
Takeshi said, in a
hypnotic trance. Kasumi sighed. She’d have to take over.
"How about a volleyball match? You win, you get Pikachu. We win, we get
Nyase." She pulled a pose she had seen Musashi use last week. Satoshi
nudged Takeshi until he posed too.
VEGETA: Quit posing, dammit! You’re not even trying properly! *poses properly*
AOI: Nice pose.
VEGETA: They trained me good in DBZ.
"Sounds good." said Kojiro, now free of the hole and most of the
sand, and posing alongside his team mates. Satoshi-tachi posed at a quicker
pace.
SPIKE: That is actually a rather vile euphemism.
Nyase and Pikachu watched the maddening posing battle. "Sure, it’s all
posing fun until somebody pulls a muscle."
SPIKE: See?
=^0^=
A small crowd was gathering at the centre of the beach, where a volleyball net
had been set up. An bikini-clad Officer Junsa
AOI: An bikini?
VEGETA: Have an Double Chocolate Magnum, they is quite good.
SCOTT: Grammar riffs. How low have we become?
arrived at the scene to disperse the crowd, as did a similarly outfitted Nurse Joy. At one side of the net was Musashi, Kojiro and Nyase. At the other side was Satoshi, Takeshi, Kasumi and Pikachu. The net had finally been hoisted onto the poles by Kasumi
AOI: Yeah, she can do THAT on her own…
after a few attempts by Satoshi and Kojiro had resulted in a tangled mess of net, sand and Kojiro.
SPIKE: (as Satoshi) A bungled attempt at sodomy, there…
VEGETA: Don’t talk about that, please.
"We need a forth person to make things even." said Musashi.
AOI: (as Musashi) Or we could take a player off your team, but that’s just ridiculous. Instead we shall take a member of the crowd with no motivation.
At that moment, Officer Junsa burst through the crowd. "What’s going on here? Do you have a permit for beach sports?" she demanded.
SCOTT: Yeah, like you need one of THEM…
"How perfectly convenient." sniggered Kojiro. Musashi grabbed her arm
and pulled her
SCOTT: Yes! Yes! This is a GOOD movie!
SPIKE/VEGETA/AOI: Shush.
into the team. "How would you like to participate in the game of the century?"
Musashi asked, leading her away.
AOI: To a small white room.
"No fair! Pikachu can’t play! He barely has arms!" screamed Kasumi.
She received a fierce electric shock her trouble,
SPIKE: Horribly scarring her and destroying all nervous activity in her brain, but that’s not the point.
and Pikachu stomped off to the side of the net, stubby arms folded in defiance.
VEGETA: Naturally, the mouse with no arms can somehow fold them.
SPIKE: Spaaaaark! Mouse! *folds stumps*
"Now we need a fourth!" whined Satoshi to Takeshi, who, when he had finally recovered from the appearance of Junsa in a bikini,
AOI: This isn’t the normal reaction, it’s just that Junsa has a big tattoo of a woman on her belly, and Takeshi is a little overwhelmed. By the stomach.
spotted Nurse Joy.
Dashing up, Takeshi eagerly recruited her to Team Pikachu.
The game was now set. Pikachu and Takeshi’s Vulpix watched from the sidelines.
"First to five points! Team Pikachu versus Team Nyase! Let’s make this
quick, people!" yelled Junsa. Vulpix blew Junsa’s whistle
SCOTT: Yes, another fantastic mental image. For PERVERTS.
SPIKE: You scare me. Me. YOU, scare ME.
, and the game began.
The first and second points went to Team Pikachu, as a spike by Joy sailed the
ball into the centre of the court. Both Musashi and Kojiro screamed "I got
it! I got it!" and failed to get it as each thought the other had it. This
happened twice before they got the hang of it.
VEGETA: What is this “it” they speak of?
A vicious return by Nyase gained a point for his team, as Takeshi was
momentarily distracted by Junsa jumping up and down for the ball.
SCOTT: Heh heh… bet she’s a 36-B…
AOI: *scared* What?
SCOTT: Oh, nothing…
Kasumi gained the next point for Team Pikachu by rebounding the ball off
Junsa’s head.
VEGETA: Nice.
Taking revenge, Junsa did the same to Kasumi, gaining Team Nyase’s second
point.
A third followed as Kojiro slammed the ball to the ground before Satoshi could
reach it.
An excellent serve by Kasumi took Team Pikachu one point away from victory.
This was quickly equalised by Nyase, who served to Satoshi. Satoshi fumbled
clumsily with
SCOTT: His Pokédex!
AOI: His remote control!
VEGETA: Himself!
SPIKE: Kasumi!
the ball, and
dropped it.
Now the score was four all. A sudden-death round, Team Nyase to serve. Musashi
took it, grinning evilly.
SCOTT: Musashi is a dominatrix.
She was known at
Pokemon Tech for her power serves.
From the side, Vulpix watched. Its eyes flickered from
-Musashi, still grinning as she pulled bback her arm, and brought it crashing
forward towards the ball
-to Kojiro, sweatdropping, trying to makke himself as small as possible to avoid
the famed power serve
-to Nyase, willing the ball over the nett and onto the ground to spare his skin.
And internal organs, and bones, too. You never know with scientists.
AOI: (as Scientist #1) Hey, where’s that specimen? And when
did you get that new catskin bag? And charm?
SCOTT: (as Scientist #2) I found them.
-to Officer Junsa, watching the ball’s ppath over the net with wide eyes
-to Nurse Joy, wishing desperately that she hadn’t agreed to help the drooling
Takeshi
-to Kasumi, who had already guessed the outcome of this serve, and had edged
out of the way
-to Takeshi, who hadn’t even noticed thaat Musashi was serving, but had noticed
the delightful way in which she was moving
VEGETA: In other words, noticed the skeletal movements and musculature of her moving due to the effect of muscle tissue contracting.
AOI: Shush. That didn’t even make sense.
VEGETA: I know… *weeps*
-to Satoshi, Musashi’s target.
Vulpix watched the ball bounce painfully onto his head, sending him reeling
backwards onto Takeshi, Joy and Kasumi, who hadn’t been quick enough. Vulpix
shrugged non-committedly and went to sleep.
Musashi and Kojiro did a long victory dance, Kojiro even breaking into a chorus
of `Lucky Lucky.`
ALL: “I should be so lucky, lucky lucky lucky, I should be so lucky ooooh…”
AUTHOR: Kylie? Here?
ALL: Prolly not, as you don’t remember the person who actually first performed it it! Hah!
AUTHOR: Damn.
Kasumi growled again. She pointed at Nyase, who was still dancing around in
circles.
"I don’t care if you won!" she yelled. "We’re taking that Nyase!
Pikachu, thundershock!" Pikachu shrugged, a difficult thing for a creature
with no shoulders,
SPIKE: Is she suggesting that Pikachu used someone else’s shoulders?
VEGETA: Heh, lemme try…
SPIKE: Hey, get off! Gerroff my shoulders!
AOI: Lets leave it at that, fellers?
and prepared to thundershock as Team Pikachu advanced menacingly. Thinking quickly, Kojiro pulled back the volleyball net and held it, the tension in the taut strings increasing. "By-ee!" he giggled, letting go and allowing the net to snap back.
SPIKE: Kojiro enjoys bondage, it seems.
Team Pikachu
realised at that moment that they were standing to close to the-
"Looks like Satoshi-tachi’s blasting off again!" Ping.
SCOTT: (as Kojiro) Mwa ha, check out my blaster cannon! *ping!*
VEGETA: Does YOUR blaster ping alarmingly? Then try new Blastidol, for all your anti-pinging needs!
Kojiro beamed with pride at his strategy. Beside him, Musashi seethed.
"You do realise that you just blasted off our prize Pikachu, don’t
you?" growled Musashi.
"Ah. Oh. Umm…" Kojiro prepared himself for an imminent blow
SPIKE: Heh heh heh…
VEGETA: Behave!
to the head. He
found himself vaguely wondering whether it would be the fan or the mallet this
time. He internally bet on the mallet.
He was right.
SCOTT: No, it didn’t cause haemorrhaging, nooo….
=^0^=
That’s it, then. It’s as average as the title suggests, but I think I’ll
improve as time goes on. Or at least, I hope so. Like the Nyase smileys in between
the paragraphs?
The email again, because I get few important emails, and I want comments! dittoblue30@yahoo.co.uk
SPIKE: Or: dittoblueandpinkandpurple30@yahoo.co.uk, as it now stands. Although none of us have seen the new hair yet, so…
I’m stopping now, with a little quote from MST3K:
Prince of Space: Ha ha ha!
Krankor: And now I’m going to kill you!
Servo:(as P of S) Ha ha! -oh.
=^0^=
The crew made there way blearily out of the theatre, blinking in the synthetic light of the SoL. They departed to the rehab room: the bar. Several pints of vodka (yes, vodka) later, and they were back to their old selves. Scott was in fact busy with someone else’s self. We will not go there.
“Biscuit delivery!”
Ant shot off down the corridor as soon as he heard these words. The “Biscuit Alert” warning was flashing on his carefully rejigged HUD of the SoL’s main systems, and he wasn’t gonna let that bloody vampire steal his Hob Nobs again!
“Yes! The supply bay!”
Ant tripped over the outstretched foot that was impeding his path. He dimly saw Spike dart off to get the packets of cookies, and grinned to himself. Perfect.
“Hah! Got you that time, reject!” mocked Spike as he fled with his bag of biscuity treats. Ant’s eyes flicked over to the tripwire stretched across the corridor.
It was cut.
Ant mouthed a silent obscenity, but prayed for the other traps to work. His HUD cameras saw the vampire reach the larder, and Ant jumped for joy as he saw the steel bulkheads that separated it from the living room clang down. A strange green gas began to filter in through the vents, and Spike began to frenziedly bang on the doors…
“Hah! Nick my food, will ya?”
Spike and Vegeta sat eating the cookies contentedly. Jesse was banging on the inside of the larder loudly, and the coloured smoke was making her cough. There would be hell tonight when she got out.
For now, the pair ate. And eat they did.
Mwa hah. My first MST! Like it? Love it? Despise it? Want me to stick to the Insipid saga? Wanna complain about the fact that the “silent dancing” seemed important and wasn’t? Tell me! You know the addy, as well as the fact that I’m on the boards. So go.
Review this story! Please?
-A