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Title: The Breakup (Vegeta/Bulma fic) MiSTed
Author: Kojiro
(http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=Directory-AuthorProfile&UserID=19476)
Another MiSTing done by yours truly. Another DBZ one, too.
Another Vegeta-centric one. Hell, I'm not complaining. Vegeta doth
rocketh.
Change of evil, today, Gio takes a day off, and chibis attack! I did
a bit of artwork for this, don’t know whether I’ll put it on the site yet
(http://www.geocities.com/dittoblue30/mst.html), since Spike looks screwed up.
But I love my chibi D-chan, with his Pika-chibi! And a sulking M-chan! Kawaii!
Yeah, I’ll put them up.
Anyway, enjoy! (blue@team-rocket.net or
dittoblue30@yahoo.co.uk for MiSTing requests, if you will!)
The monitor
screen flickered to life once more. Meowth grinned up at the image of Giovanni
and his Persian Pokémon.
"Wassssup?" he crowed, Budweiser style, realising
just afterwards that Gio wasn’t in his usual suit.
"Why da Hawaiian shoirt,
boss?"
Gio scratched the cat’s head. It purred in response.
"I’m going on
holiday for a while, so I shan’t be sending you today’s fanfic."
The other
crew members, who weren’t paying much attention before, suddenly perked
up.
"You won’t?"
"No. And where are your other crew members? You’re
missing three."
Meowth looked around. "Oh yeah! Where are dose tree?"
Dec
responded. "I saw Aoi come in here and drag away Spike and Scott. Something
about nail varnish."
"Despite this, I need to make an announcement,"
continued Gio. "As I stated, I will not send you a fic today. My replacement
will."
The crew’s faces dropped. Jessie growled evilly.
"And here she is."
Giovanni stepped aside to reveal a young woman with red bunches, who bore an
uncanny resemblance to Jessie…
"Well, hello, James dearest!" cooed Jessibelle
in her Southern drawl.
"Aaaaiee!" James darted behind Jessie, who growled
even more. Cat nudged Declan, the Pokémon expert. "The hell?" she said.
"It’s
James’ insane fiancee, Jessibelle. She’s obsessed, he’s scared. Not a good
match."
"Ah."
Jessiebelle waved to the retreating Team Rocket
boss.
"Bye bye! Have a good time!" She turned to the screen again. "And now I
get to have some fun. And some revenge." She grinned maliciously.
In Aoi’s
room, things were a bit lighter.
"Well, keep looking!" she yelled.
"I
don’t have it, woman! You just lost it!" yelled back Spike.
"No way! I’d
never lose my favourite quick-drying, no-chip, scented black nail varnish! You
two wear nail varnish, one of you must have picked it up!"
Scott looked up
from the bag he was rummaging through. "I didn’t put it in my bag. I didn’t take
it, I have my own varnish! Spike must have taken it!"
"I did not!"
Aoi
kicked a chair over angrily. "Hang on, what was that noise?" said Scott. All
three fell silent.
"Came from the main room." whispered Aoi. They crept in
quietly.
Jessibelle was still on the monitor, and a laser was folding itself
back up from the control panel.
"Well, well, well. I guess you three get to
play babysitter! And your fic is in ten minutes! Enjoooy!" she flickered
off.
Spike, Scott and Aoi were silent again.
"So…" started
Spike.
"Either that was James’ insane fiancee, or Gio’s made a few image
changes…" said Scott.
"And what the hell did she mean, babysitter?" Spike
asked.
Aoi pointed, slowly, across the room, where seven chibis were stood
quietly.
"Chibi…" she muttered. "I … hate … chibis…"
"She’s turned them
all into chibi-things!" yowled Scott. At which point, chibi-Cat coughed, and all
hell broke loose. Chibi Ant and Dec took this as a signal to run around
screaming, and chibi-James started to cry. Chibi-Meowth and Chibi-Pikachu had an
irresistibly cute Chibi-Pokémon battle, and Chibi-Jessie tried to grab
Pikachu.
"Oh hell. They’re like little kids… demonic ones…" stammered
Spike.
Aoi repeated the words "I hate Chibis, I hate Chibis…" over and over,
as Chibi-Ant clung to her arm.
Scott waved his leg about, which had the
sudden addition of a Chibi-Cat. "Aiee! C-chan, get off my leg!"
"Chan?" said
Spike, trying to dodge Chibi-Jessie, who’d decided to keep trying to kill Spike
even in Chibi-childlike form.
"That’s just what you say, it makes it sound
cuter. And Team Rocket get their Japanese names now… oww, C-chan…"
"Fine,
then." Spike shook his arm, catapulting Chibi Jessie across the room. "Byee,
M-Chan!"
All of the chibis were running around in circles squeaking, almost
drowning out Aoi’s cries of "We have to round them up, and calm them
down!"
Scott, his hands clapped over his ears, yelled back. "And how to you
propose to do that, then? Got any elephant tranquilisers?"
"We have to
chibi-sit…"
"Only for a few minutes, then we have fanfic."
"Oh.
Wonderful."
The three spent at least five minutes chasing the chibi crew
until they all piled in the centre of the main room.
A breathless Scott sat
in front of the squirming chibi audience. "OK, kids, what d’you want to
do?"
"TV!" they all screamed as one.
Aoi gladly flicked on the monitor,
which also doubled as a TV when the plot requires it. They exchanged looks as
the chibis became entranced by the Teletubbies.
"Whew." breathed Aoi. "Hang
on… I see Declan, Ant, Cat and Pikachu. Where are chibi Rocket Gundan?"
In
answer, there was a muffled noise of annoyance behind them.
They both turned
to look at Spike, who had been mobbed by a chibi Rocket Gundan. Nyase was
clinging to his head, mewing, and Jessie was trying to stab him with a penknife.
James was giving her a boost so she could reach. "Get them off!"
The fic
light flashed, just in time, as Scott and Aoi grabbed Spike, kicking away
N-chan, and made a dash for the door.
"We have half an hour until Teletubbies
ends! And now we got fanfic siiiign!"
***All stumble into the theatre,
Spike slamming the door shut as quickly as he can, blocking out the noises of
the squealing chibi-creatures. All regain their composure, and sit
down.***
AOI: Eurgh… chibi… everywhere…
SCOTT: That was… hell…
SPIKE:
Bloody chip! They’d all be chibi corpses by now if it weren’t for that
thing.
AOI: But so would me and Scott.
SPIKE: Your point being?
SCOTT:
Aww, you love us really.
SPIKE: You just think that, then.
The Breakup
By: JZero
Vegeta had been flying around in circles all day.
SPIKE:
…chasing his tail…
He and Bulma were through and that was final. They had
completely seperated.
AOI/SCOTT: (like the intro to the Offsping’s `Come
Out and Play`) You gotta keep ‘em seperated!
SPIKE: You’d be very, very dead
if I could do anything about it.
SCOTT: *air guitars*
It had been
their biggest fight and they had agreed that it just wasn't working. Their
marriage was a complete failure. It had been a month and Vegeta didn't mind
living by himself.
AOI: Hehee.
SPIKE: What?
AOI: I have this
mental image of Vegeta in a Motel 6 bachelor pad, eating Pringles and watching
the football.
SPIKE: Hehee.
He didn't have to have a bitch yelling at
him for this and that. He had solitude, privacy and nothing to do. It was
driving him crazy. 'Bulma would be volunteering at the hospital today,' he
thought. He stopped himself, she wasn't part of his life anymore. Still he was
curious, he decided to fly over there and see what she did on her volunteer
time. He hadn't seen her in a month and he'd only seen Bra and Trunks a few
times.
SCOTT: Bra and Trunks! Hah!
AOI: I’m sensing a pattern in
Vegeta and Bulma’s naming scheme…
SCOTT: You don’t get ChiChi and Goku naming
their kids after underwear.
SPIKE: Hmm. Can you relate `Goten` or `Gohan` to
pants?
SCOTT: Pair of… Gotens. Guess not.
SPIKE: It could be, like, a
brand name…
AOI: Shut up, you two.
SCOTT: We now return you to your
scheduled fic.
He finally decided to go see her secretly. He didn't want
Bulma to see him. He knew how to be sneaky and he could slip in and out of
anything. He flew off to the hospital. Bulma sat at the front desk of the giant
hospital
SPIKE: Reckon it’s a large hospital, or a hospital for
giants?
SCOTT: Please, Spike, it’s `vertically advanced` now.
tapping
her pencil on the desk. Vegeta's face kept flashing into her mind.
SPIKE: Ac, he was *flashing*?
ALL: Eww!
She shook her head, he
was out of the picture now. The doors infront of her swung open and Chi Chi
walked in.
AOI: And out… and back in again, then out again…
SCOTT:
(as Bulma) Chi Chi, get out of the revolving door!
Bulma smiled, her best
friend had been really supportive about her seperation lately. She was thankful,
she needed it. "Hi there Bulma!" "Hello Chi Chi, how has your day been?" Bulma
said, trying to sit up from her slump. Chi Chi chatted for two straight hours
about Goku, Gohan and cleaning.
SPIKE: Wow. Moral of the story, don’t
ask Chi Chi anything about anything.
Gohan was going to the University,
her house was mess, Goku was still a clutz. Bulma suceeded with a weak smile
SCOTT: *Suceeded* with a smile?
AOI: The hell?
SPIKE: Maybe she
successfully killed her and buried the body with a smile.
as she listened
to her friend.
SPIKE: Aww. Had my hopes up for nothing then.
She
envied Chi Chi's relationship with her husband. When it was time for her to go,
Chi Chi waved goodbye and stepped out of the glass doors.
SCOTT: (as
Bulma) No, wait, those doors are still shut!
SPIKE: ***thawp!***
AOI: (as
Chi Chi) I think I broke by dose…
SCOTT: Why are we making Chi Chi a door
retard?
AOI: ‘Cause it’s fun?
SCOTT: Oh yeah.
Bulma sighed and
slumped back down. She couldn't hold back anymore, she had been smiling for a
whole month. She had told everyone she was so happy that she had seperated with
Vegeta. She couldn't help missing him. She started crying and couldn't stop the
tears. Luckily no one came through the hospital doors where she was located. She
continued sobbing until her volunteer time was over.
SPIKE: (as official
guy) Wow, thanks for the help, Bulma. Next time we need somebody to cry like a
girly girl and soak the floor, we’ll call you!
Vegeta landed outside of
the hospital just in time to see a happy Chi Chi walk out. He walked up to the
sliding doors and cautiously looked in.
AOI: (as Vegeta) Now let’s see
if I can work these doors better than Chi Chi could… open… close. Yeah, I got
it!
SPIKE: (as Bulma) Good monkey! Well done!
Bulma was sitting at the
front desk smiling. 'Well I'm glad that she's happy,' Vegeta thought. He was
about to turn away when he saw Bulma's happy smile fade to a frown. As soon as
Chi Chi had left Bulma had lost her happy disposition. Now she was sobbing.
Vegeta tightened his hand into a fist as he watched her cry. Suddenly the clock
chimed 6:00pm. Bulma hurriedly wiped away her tears and picked up her purse.
Vegeta flew onto the roof and
SCOTT: Fetched little Timmy’s
cat.
SPIKE: (as little Timmy) Gee whiz, thanks mister monkey
guy!
watched her walk out to the car. For some reason he couldn't let her
go, so he
AOI: Clung to her leg all the way home.
SPIKE: (as Bulma)
Waah, Vegeta no baka! Get the hell off!
followed her to the grocery
store. Bulma tipped the store attendant who had loaded her hover car with all of
her groceries. He smiled when he saw the 100 dollar bill(I wasn't sure of the
currency in zeni, so I used American money).
SCOTT: Thank you, anonymous
voice!
AOI: (as store employee) I’m sorry, Ma’am, but even if you don’t know
the currency, you can’t pay in another one.
She walked up to her car door
and started to get in when she heard a whistle. Suddenly she noticed a whole
gang of young men coming her way. They walked slowly, smiling at her slyly.
Bulma shivered and tried to open the door. "Damn," she said. The door was jammed
(perfect timing huh?). She turned around and tried to size up the situation. 15
punks, 1 me, 1 back alley,
SCOTT: 100g of flour…
AOI: 4
teletubbies…
SPIKE: And a stick of glue.
no help, and no way out. She
always parked in the back of the store because her groceries were always so
tremendous in amounts
SPIKE: So massive in their quantity of numbers
were they…
that it was easier to load them in the car from that way. Now
she was regretting ever thinking about it. The men eased their way over. "Hey
babe wanna have a little fun?"
SCOTT: (as Punk) We just set up the
Monopoly board, wanna be the doggy or the racecar?
A rough looking man
said through a beat up jacket.
AOI: (as Man) Please take this beat up
jacket out of my mouth.
"Sorry, I'm busy," she said dryly. "Whoa is he
not the hottest thing you've ever seen in your life?"
SPIKE: He? He
who?
AOI: Vegeta?
ALL: Wahhh!
The men were saying to each other as
they looked her up and down with hungry eyes. "Let's fuck her, I've got to have
that thing,"
AOI: Ack! Censors! Young ears present!
SCOTT: (as man)
I’ve got to have that thing… you know, that… thing?
SPIKE: (as other man) Her
coat?
SCOTT: (as Man) Yeah, that’s the one.
someone said. The others
agreed. "Get the hell away from me," Bulma warned. She tried to think of a way
to get out of there. She didn't have anything to use to defend herself.
SPIKE: There was only the gun, the broadsword she’d borrowed from Trunks
and a length of cheesewire! Whatever can she do?
She looked around and
noticed a short lead pipe located near her car. (I know what you're thinking-
AOI: LET ME OUT!
how CONVENIENT!)
AOI: Yeah, that
too.
SCOTT: I don’t want to go out. The chibis are out there…
ALL:
*shiver*
She jumped over and grabbed it. The gang members looked at her
and laughed. "Oh no, I think she's going to hurt me!" Someone shouted out.
Bulma's eyes narrowed,
SCOTT: (as Bulma) Owie! Should my eyeballs DO
that?
they were going to have to learn to take her seriously. With
amazing speed the lead pipe was hurled through the air. It hit with deadly
accuracy and took out three of the gang members. They fell to the ground dead.
The pipe had ricocheted off of their heads, cracking their skulls. Their brain
matter was now leaking onto the concrete.
SCOTT: Eww…
AOI: Here,
*you* can have the popcorn…
SPIKE: It’s only a bit of brain matter, you
nancys.
(I know, I know- YUCK, but my girl has to let peeps know that
just cause she can't fight, doesn't mean she's not killer cool!)
AOI:
You go girlfriend!
SPIKE: Talk to the hand, cos the face ain’t
listening!
The other gang members looked at the three in horror.
SCOTT: Then in comedy drama, then in romance, and finally in
adult.
AOI: Ick!
"Alright bitch, you are dead now," one said. They
started after her. Bulma couldn't go anywhere, she was in a corner, so she stood
there parylzed and awaited her fate. Suddenly, however, something happened that
she hadn't expected. Vegeta had flown down and was now standing right in front
of her. "Touch her and you die!" He yelled, and by the look on his face, Bulma
could telled he was pissed.
SPIKE: Yeah, you can always telled with
Vegeta.
AOI: She means he was pisseded.
SCOTT: C’mon, guys. Are we so low
as to sink to grammar riffs?
AOI: Yup. Don’t complain, go with it.
SPIKE:
Bloody-know-it-all yank.
The gang members slowed into a halt. "Where the
hell did he come from?" They said. "Listen
SPIKE: (as Gang Member) …when
a man and a women love each other…
buddy, you might think that you're
buff and all but it's all of us against you and that fine bitch you're standing
in front of.
ALL: *silence*
SCOTT: Would… Vegeta ever call … Bulma a
… `fine bitch`?
AOI: No, no!
SCOTT: *lip trembling*
SPIKE: Aww, fic,
you’ve disillusioned him!
Just walk away and we'll leave you alone."
Vegeta looked at them and smirked. He raised his hand and gathered a small
amount of ki energy, no bigger than a thimble. He shot it at the man to the left
and he dropped dead in front of them. "Idiots," Vegeta said. He yelled and it
echoed through the entire city.
AOI: (as Vegeta, muffled) Final
Flash!
SCOTT: (as citizen) What the heck? Fatal… fish?
SPIKE: (as another
citizen) Naw, it’s … Fine Cash.
Then suddenly, Vegeta glowed as he
transformed into Super Saiyan. The gang members were now shaking in fear. Vegeta
smirked. He drew up energy and began his attack "Final Flash!" he yelled. There
was a bright burst of energy and the remaining gang members were disentegrated
in screams of agony. Vegeta sighed as his hair turned back to black and the rage
left his body.
AOI: Bye rage! Visit soon!
SPIKE: That joke
reeked.
AOI: *shrugs* You do better.
He turned around and came face to
face with Bulma. Her beautiful blue eyes were gleaming as a tear fell down her
cheek.
SPIKE: Well, she shouldn’t varnish her eyes, then!
AOI: That’s
not any better than mine, is it?
SPIKE: Well, no.
Vegeta looked at her
and stood there, not knowing what to do. Bulma was shaking and knew that she
couldn't stand it anymore.
SCOTT: She had to eat those 64 slices of
American Cheese!
AOI: Simpsons!
SPIKE: (as Marge) Have you been up all
night eating cheese?
SCOTT: (as Homer) I think I’m blind…
She ran over
to him and threw her arms around him. Vegeta closed his eyes and realized how
much he had missed her. He put his arms around her, knowing that he couldn't
stay away from her anymore. "Vegeta, please don't leave me again. I....I....need
you," Bulma said in tears. Vegeta didn't say anything, he just held onto her.
AOI: …leg. Again.
SCOTT: (as Bulma) No, Vegeta! Baaad Vegeta! What
have I told you about this?
"Well, now I have to, you are so damn
defenseless. It's pitiful, what if you'd died? Do you know how annoying that
would have been?" Bulma laughed and looked up at him. He wiped off her tears and
scowled down at her. "You are so ugly when you cry." He was lying, he knew, she
was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Bulma smiled and kissed him, to
his surprise, fully on the mouth. He kissed her back with a month's worth of
longing and thought that they'd never separate from that kiss.
SPIKE:
(as Vegeta) Did you use superglue instead of lipgloss *again*, Bulma?
SCOTT:
(as Bulma) Kuso! My bad. Anyone have some hot water?
That would be just
fine with him. He lifted her slowly up and soon they were floating in the
clouds. (I know it sounds gay, but I'm a hopeless romantic-no offense to you gay
guys).
SPIKE: We’ll have to ask James if he would have taken
offence.
AOI: Heck, I’d take of-fence, but then I’d have to take the whole
gate!
SCOTT: Ack, that was pooooor…
SPIKE: Should throw you to the chibis
for that.
AOI: Aieee! Noooo!
When they stopped kissing, Vegeta looked
down at her. "You are a real pain, do you know that? And a pathetic fight, I
mean you only got three of them." Bulma's eyes widened. "You watched the whole
thing?"
SCOTT: Well, it did run like most of the movies on the top shelf
of the video store.
AOI: … really, really don’t want to think about Vegeta
watching those…
ALL: Eurgh…
"I found it entertaining.
SPIKE:
Yup, he’s been watching the Playboy channel.
I only stopped it because I
felt bad for those boys. If they'd tried to rape you, they would have found that
they had made a serious mistake.
SCOTT: They’d have discovered what
Bulma *really* is…
AOI: And what’s that?
SCOTT: You’ll have to wait until
next week to find out! Dum-dum-daaaaah!
SPIKE: You feeling OK? Last time you
got that weird, the Buffy script sent you insane.
SCOTT: Nice recap. And yes,
I’m fine.
So I killed them quickly." Bulma smiled at him. "You are such a
bastard, do you know that?" "Well you're just as much of a bitch," Vegeta said.
"Then I guess we're meant for each other." "Hai, I guess I'm damned for life,"
Vegeta said, and he kissed her again.
SPIKE: All done.
SCOTT: Well,
that could have been worse.
AOI: Could have been better without the mention
of Vegeta’s subscription to the `Red Hot Channel`.
ALL: Eww.
SPIKE: We
have to get out. Must brave the chibis.
SCOTT: You go first, dead-guy. They
can’t kill you as well.
SPIKE: What if they have stakes, or pencils, or
anything wooden? You’d just bleed slowly to death, *I’d* explode in a cloud of
dust! Who has the worst deal there?
AOI: *shoves Spike* You go first,
‘K?
SPIKE: *mutters*
***All stand to leave, reluctantly, Spike going
cautiously first, followed by the other two.***
Spike carefully put his
head around the door. All was quiet. Too quiet.
"Eee, it’s like a horror
movie." whispered Aoi. Spike shushed her.
"Where’d they go?" asked Scott in a
hushed tone. Aoi pointed to the sofa, where all seven chibis were curled up,
asleep.
"They’re kinda cute when not screaming or clinging to your leg,
huh?"
"Shh! Don’t…wake…them…up."
Once more, the huge viewscreen flicked
itself on.
"Why, my James looks so cute when he sleeps!" yapped Jessibelle
loudly, ignoring the frantic `shush` signs from the others. After a few minutes
of staring at the adorable, sleeping chibi James, she turned to the others, who
were making quiet throw up motions. "The chibi zappy ray thingy will wear off
soon, as soon as they wake up. Pity, I love my chibi-Jamesy!" she cooed. K-chan
yawned, and turned over lazily, prompting a hurried backward motion from the
trio, and a squeal from Jessibelle. "Kawaii! When he wakes up, remind him that
he *will* be mine! Bye for now!"
Scott, Spike and Aoi groaned, and sank to
the floor exhausted.
"Chibi-sitting, and a fanfic…I’d have done better
staying in the hollowed out volcano…" murmured Scott.
"Oh, to be back in my
dead-end job right now…" mumbled Aoi.
"Um… No, this is still better than
Sunnydale." grinned Spike. Scott elbowed him, without feeling.
"Shh. Wake
those chibi-things and I’ll kill you."
"Whatever."
Nearing sleep due to
chibi-exhaustion, all three started to fall asleep where they where sat, until
Spike coughed.
All hell broke lose once more as seven chibis woke up sharply,
and noticed that Teletubbies wasn’t on anymore.
Aoi’s eyelids cracked
open.
"Dammit."
And that’s where we’ll leave them, since I
can’t think of a better ending. :-D
No more chibis next week, they freak me
out. Eurgh. But, hey, fanfics welcome! Welcome? Begged for.
dittoblue30@yahoo.co.uk as ever.
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