A/N: Is it just me, or are these chapters getting longer every time?

GILES: “It certainly feels that way.”

Now I’d like to give my friends (and a reviewer) some answers to some things they wrote. For Sabrina Black: You will find a little surprise.

ANT (evilly, as author): “In your shoes! My dog left it there personally!”

And I will remember that thing is called a pokedex. For valeri: It might be a tie…

MYOTISMON (Author): “Then again, it might be a bow, who knows?”

you’ll just have to read and find out! Like you said, ANYTHING can happen!

GILES: “Well, I doubt there’ll be a weird crossover with the Buffy-universe.”

LEGOLAS: “Tell them to stay away from my universe. The place is flooding with hormone-driven teenage girls as it is!” (Giles nods sympatically) “And they’re making a mess of Rivendell, stealing all the gowns, and taking forever in the bathroom, and worst of all…”

ANT: “They want to go with you on the quest?”

LEGOLAS: “That too, but some of them dare to suggest I’m not the prettiest Fellowship member! Some of them think Frodo is actually adorable, can you believe that?”

ANT: “Well, he does have those big blue eyes…”

LEGOLAS (Takes out knife): “Say that again?”

ANT (freaked out): “Er, I meant *you* have those big blue eyes!”

For Shadow Rider: I’ll tell you why at school. Now I think I must get going or the world will hate me!

MYOTISMON: “Yes, go, go and delete this fic, there’s a good girl.”

And this is NOT the last chapter! This is actually the first fight.

ANT (surprised): “But, there were earlier fights, weren’t there?”

GILES: “Obviously those weren’t important enough.”

Chapter 11

Trouble at Maiden’s Rock

If you were asleep before the last few commercial breaks (joke),

LEGOLAS (laughs politely)

GILES: “It’s a bad sign indeed if they have to point out it’s a joke.”

the ghost festival on Maiden’s Rock was taking place when James, Mondo, Meowth, Domino, and Giovanni crashed the party.

ANT: “And in Giovanni’s case, we may take this literally.”

Having arrived at the shore, a new surprise was unveiled on the streets:

GILES: “It was clean!”

ANT: “Pssh, lousy surprise, that is.”

GILES: “Look, it’s a festival! A clean street would be very surprising.”

Team Rocket Mon. Now for a battle on the streets of Porta Vista!

Face to face. Villain versus villain. Team Rocket versus Team Rocket Mon.

MYOTISMON: “It would be decided once and for all…”

ANT: “Who was the true master of…”

LEGOLAS: “Kittens!”

ANT: “Kittens?”

LEGOLAS: “They’re fluffy, cute and adorable! Who wouldn’t want to have ‘em as pets?”

Lucky Gatomon wasn’t there.

LEGOLAS: “Unlucky Gatomon however, was there. Who’s Gatomon anyway?”

GILES: “Some female cat-thing who likes rolling in catnip with other cats and gets pregnant with hybrid kittens.”

LEGOLAS (tsk’ing): “That is no way to act for a lady!”

“You’re going down!” remarked Mondo.

“Not if we take you first!” exclaimed Demidevimon, gripping a Demi Dart.

ANT (Mondo): “You suck!”

SPIKE (Demidevimon): “Yeah, well, you suck more!”

“So you’re Jessie’s little dream team,” said Giovanni, stepping in front of Team Rocket Mon.

GILES: “The whole of it?”

ANT (singing to ‘I’m Fat’): “He’s fat, he’s fat, we know it.”

He looked at Jessie. “Stubborn.” Then Demidevimon.

ANT (Giovanni): “Weird.”

“Stupid.” Finally Myotismon.

MYOTISMON (grins): “Supercool.”

“And skinny.

MYOTISMON: “Hey! I can’t help if it if I digest food quickly. I’ve tried, you know, to put on some more weight! All the other Evil Digimon make fun of it, they call me Stickmon!”

How can this stupid team fight Team Rocket without losing?” He started laughing his head off. “And you just stole the motto!”

GILES: “No, I’m pretty sure they were parodying.”

“I’LL SHOW YOU STUPID! DEMI DART!” Demidevimon shot his Demi Dart at Giovanni, who keeled over when it penetrated his skin and suit.

LEGOLAS: “I refuse to believe one measly dart was able to penetrate those layers of fat!”

ANT (giggling): “You said ‘penetrate’.”

“Why Giovanni,” said Jessie. “Long time no see.” She started advancing on him, circling around him like a vulture as the crowds looked on.

GILES: “Who didn’t feel the need to call the police, or run away, or something like that, oh no.”

She grabbed a bit of the fat put on from all the cheese he ate. “Put on a little weight, haven’t you?”

MYOTISMON: “Hmm, maybe I should try his diet.”

LEGOLAS: “And if that doesn’t work, we can form a alliance! The Alliance of Skinny, Pretty Blond Beings!

MYOTISMON: “I like the sound of that!”

Domino ran up to Jessie and whacked her wrist. “You leave Giovanni alone!” She brandished her black rose, and it started glowing an unearthly blue glow.

GILES: “And here’s me thinking something that’s black should glow black, silly me.”

LEGOLAS (squealing): “Isn’t that just the prettiest blue glowing rose you’ve ever seen? Well, not as pretty me, naturally, but still very, very pretty!”

“Y-your dream team is no good against us, Jessie,” said Giovanni, struggling to stand up, but rolling over again.

GILES (Giovanni): “Damn my desire to learn skate-boarding!”

“There’s only one way to find out,” said Mondo, holding out his pokeball. “LET’S BATTLE! Ditto, I choose you!” He threw it and Ditto came out.

ANT: “What’s the rating for this fic? First Jessie falls for Myotismon, Meowth gets Gatomon pregnant, and now Ditto turns out to be gay?”

MYOTISMON: “Wait, the hot red-haired chick wants me? Score!”

GILES: “You wouldn’t be saying that if you had to read it.”

ANT: “And I wouldn’t call it ‘red’ if I were you.”

“Di-tto.”

“Golbats, I choose you!” Myotismon spread his cape out and unleashed over a hundred Golbats out at the Team Rocket members and the crowd.

LEGOLAS: “Cheaters never prosper, you know!”

MYOTISMON: “Cool, those bat-things are WAY bigger than my normal bats. Where do I buy ‘em?”

Mothers shielded their children and themselves.

GILES: “Eh, how exactly? They’d shield their children by standing in front of them, and they’d shield themselves by putting their children in front of them.”

ANT: “They’re probably all standing behind Giovanni.”

“Oh yeah?” Mondo was more ready than ever to fight.

“Yeah!” Demidevimon added, brandishing another Demi Dart.

“You’re going down,” said Meowth, sticking out a shiny, sharp claw.

ANT (Demidevimon): “You fight like a cow!”

MYOTISMON (thoughtful): “Maybe I should try this with the digi-destined. After all, if the girls fight for me, those boys can never beat me! My pick-up lines may need work though…”

LEGOLAS: “Ooh! You can practice on me!”

MYOTISMON: “Great!”

ANT: “Myo, er, you do know that Legolas is a guy?”

MYOTISMON: “He is?” (eyes Legolas) “What the hell.” (tackles Legolas, who squeales)

(Ant and Giles stare)

LEGOLAS: “Can we have some privacy here?” (giggles) “Myo, that tickles!”

(Ant and Giles stare intently at the screen.)

The crowd parted again before anyone could do anything to reveal… Jenny and Erika! They were back!

ANT: “From the dead!”

“Yes, we’re back and ready to fight!” Erika exclaimed. “But I see you’re kind of busy, so…”

GILES (Erika): “We’ll just leave quietly. Bye!”

“Yes, it’s Fight Number 1 between Team Rocket and Team Rocket Mon! Round #1 is Meowth versus Demidevimon!”

ANT (Jenny): “The winner gets to keep Togepi!”

GILES: “It still amazes me no one has thrown that egg thing in the frying pan yet.”

ANT: “Maybe they’re fattening it?”

MYOTISMON: “You know, if anyone wants me to cook some of those fluffy things hanging ‘round the satellite, jusy say the word.”

LEGOLAS: “You wouldn’t dare hurt the Cute Fluffy Things! They’re cute! And fluffy!”

GILES: “Back from snogging then, have you?”

MYOTISMON: “Well, I’m not going to ‘snog’ someone in a movie theater. Us evil villains have *some* dignity, you know.”

Jenny held out a microphone and spoke to the crowd, who looked on intently, wondering who to cheer for.

“You are SO going down,” said Demidevimon. “What chance does a pokemon like you have against a digimon like me? I will digivolve to Devimon someday and take you

GILES (Demidevimon): “To the carnaval!”

do—“

ANT: “Do’h, the sound that Homer makes.”

GILES: “Ray, a guy I used to er, know.”

LEGOLAS: “Me! The prettiest Elf in here!”

MYOTISMON: “Er, what comes after Do-re-mi?”

(Embarrassed silence. No one knows)

While he was speaking, Meowth got ready to pounce. His tail twitched, his eyes narrowed,

ANT: “His stomach turned.”

GILES (Giovanni): “Meowth, vomit attack!”

and then he leapt up into the air and scratched Demidevimon across the wings.

“AAAAAAAAAH!” He fluttered to the ground helplessly, still clutching his Demi Dart like it was a crown jewel. “I’m not finished yet!

ANT: “Yeah, pouncing isn’t much of a fatality.”

DEMI DART!” He hurled the Demi Dart right into Meowth’s arm.

“MEOOOOWWWWWWTH!” Meowth clutched his arm in agony.

LEGOLAS: “I could do that SO much better.” (flips hair) “It needs more drama.” (stands up)

ANT (holding him back): “We don’t need a demostration.”

“And what looked like a loss for Demidevimon turned into an excellent comeback!” Erika commented.

GILES (Erika): “I haven’t seen a comeback like this since ‘Frozen’ by Madonna!”

“Could Team Rocket Mon not seem so pathetic?

LEGOLAS: “That sounds like those Mary-Sue authors, trying to write in Olde English. Except they add –eth to each verb.”

Let’s ask the cheese-a-holic Giovanni.” She pointed the mike right at Giovanni, hoping for a response.

MYOTISMON: “So cheese is his secret. I’ll have to look into that.”

“Your claws are no match for my talons!” Demidevimon exclaimed, swiping those things across Meowth’s face and stomach and back.

ANT: “In a familiar pattern, the Z from Zorro!”

GILES: “I’ve always wondered about that, isn’t it convenient that he has an alias with easy to carve initials?”

ANT: “Well, if you’re going to carve the first letter of your name in people’s shirts, you’re not going to call yourself Bob, are you?”

Meowth fell onto the street in agony.

LEGOLAS: “What, again? Only just then he was clutching his arm in agony.” (shakes head) “A dissapointing lack of thesaurus use.”

“And this looks like a victory for Team Rocket Mon—“ Erika began.

ANT: “She wasn’t able to finish, since a huge rock fell on her head.”

MYOTISMON: “Score team Me and Hot Red-Haired Chick!”

GILES: “Good thing Jessie isn’t here, she’s lethal with a mallet.”

MYOTISMON: “Psah, roaring fire-breathing dinosaurs didn’t kill me, a mere mallet won’t even hurt me!”

ANT: “I’d watch my words if I were you, she’s got pretty good hearing.”

“No!” Meowth was raging mad. He seemed to get a burst of adrenalin right then. He struggled to stand up on all fours, shaking.

GILES: “I thought he was able to stand on two paws?”

ANT: “Maybe his falling and clutching in agony had some effect on his brain, or whatever it is he thinks with.”

Even Demidevimon looked surprised. “I won’t let them win! RRRR!” He finally managed to attain balance on two paws.

ANT: “Why didn’t Meowth attack him when Demidevimon was trying to stand up?”

LEGOLAS: “Don’t you know anything of honour? Hitting an enemy when he can’t stand is unfair!”

MYOTISMON: “So?”

His body was a scratched-up mess, and a real sight to be seen. It was amazing how he could do that. “Meowth chooses Meowth! And Meowth decides to use his attacks!”

GILES: “Unlike his defences, which he usually uses to attack.”

“Cut the blab, kitty, before I attack again!” Demidevimon held out a Demi Dart.

ANT: “Ooooone huuuuundred aaaaaaand eeeeeiiiiighty!”

“Meowth, use PAY DAY! MEEEEOOOOOWWWWWWWTH!” He spun around with all his might, then, like magic, a ton of gold charms flew right out of him, hitting Demidevimon one by one before he hit the street.

MYOTISMON: “Wow, that’s an attack worth knowing.”

LEGOLAS: “His attacks leave pretty gold pieces behind? Shiny!”

ANT: “Hey, when did he learn Pay Day? He can’t!”

GILES: “There, there, Ant, it’s fanfic. Everything’s possible.”

Meowth rushed right over, prepared to finish the job. “Meowth, use Fury Swipes! MEOWTH MEOWTH MEOWTH!” Never was Meowth so eager to fight.

ANT: “Oh, I get it, he lost his ability to speak, in order to do Pay Day.”

“And an even more astonishing comeback for Meowth of Team Rocket, using his Pay Day attack for the very first time!” Erika exclaimed. “Amazing!”

“Hey, whose side are you on?” asked one of the spectators as Demidevimon lay there on the street.

LEGOLAs: “Isn’t somebody going to help him? He’s bleeding to death.”

MYOTISMON: “I don’t need losers on my team.”

“And it’s a victory for Team Rocket!” Jenny exclaimed, grabbing the microphone. “But Demidevimon was just the weakest link. And now let’s give it up for the strongest links. Myotismon versus Mondo, in Round Number Two! This should be intersting.”

MYOTISMON: “Only if you want to see the quickest defeat of Mondo ever.” (grins)

“Ditto, I choose you!” Mondo exclaimed. “Now change into a Scyther!”

GILES (as Ditto): “It’s always change into this, change into that! You never appreciate me for who I really am!”

ANT: “A big blob of pink that can’t really do anything but breed with any Pokémon?”

LEGOLAS: “This story has no morals what so ever!”

Ditto glowed, then morphed into one of the strongest Scythers around. “SCYTHER!” Ditto exclaimed.

“And Mondo has a good strategy in morphing his Ditto into a Scyther,” said Jenny. “Excellent!”

ANT: “Air guitar!” (proceeds to play air guitar, until Myotismon smacks him)

“GRISLY WING!” Myotismon attacked the Scyther with just regular bats, not Golbats.

MYOTISMON: “That’s right me, you don’t have to waste the big bats on that loser.”

It didn’t seem to make a difference. They surrounded Scyther (Ditto), who tried to swat at them with his razor hands.

GILES: “Hmm, I’ve always thought running with razors was dangerous, let alone fighting with them.”

“And Myotismon makes an excellent comeback with his first technique!” Jenny exclaimed. “I’ve seen this kind of fighting before when I posed as a member!”

MYOTISMON: “Hey, why didn’t I kill her then?”

GILES (shrugs): “You just let her waltz out of your secret lair.”

MYOTISMON: “What?! How dare that author make me look stupid!”

Scyther (Ditto) finally managed to slice enough bats so his view wasn’t obstructed. He saw Myotismon, and MM was ready to attack again.

ANT: “MM for Mighty Myotismon!”

GILES: “Could be MMM though.”

LEGOLAS: “Mmm, Myotismon.”

“Quick, Ditto!” Mondo exclaimed. “Change into Alakazam!”

The Scyther nodded, then transformed into an Alakazam. “ALAKAZAM!” Hundreds of brain

ANT: “Hundreds of brains? Eww.”

waves flew out at everything, freezing nearly everything in place.

ANT: “Oh, that’s okay then. Well, not for the freezing, but for the ‘no brain’ thing.”

GILES: “Talking about yourself again?”

“Perhaps I underestimated you, Mondo,” said Myotismon. “CRIMSON LIGHTNING!” Out flew a bolt of red-hot lightning at Alakazam. Alakazam tried to force it back at its producer, but it just stayed there.

MYOTISMON: “Woohoo! I rule!”

LEGOLAS: “Pretty colours! Where I’m from, lightning’s a boring yellow, but this looks much better!”

“And so this fight isn’t really getting anywhere,” said Jenny. “Of course, Ditto has the advantage here because he can transform into anything he wants.”

ANT (Mondo): “Ditto, transform into a naked Jessie!”

GILES: “You are incredibly lucky she isn’t in here.”

“ALAKAZAM!” Alakazam shot out extremely strong waves at all the members of Team Rocket Mon.

LEGOLAS: “That’s nice, now they can go surfing.”

“CRIMSON LIGHTNING!” MM produced a bolt of lightning stronger than the previous one. And that did something.

MYOTISMON: “It blew all the Team Rocket people up!”

It flew right out at Alakazam, knocking him over and making him transform back into Ditto.

MYOTISMON: “What, no cool explosions?”

“No, Ditto!” Mondo exclaimed, only to see another bolt of lightning hit him and Ditto, forcing them back and making them hit the lamppost behind them.

“And the victory goes to the champion digimon Myotismon! I swear, with him in Team Rocket Mon, nothing can stop them!” Jenny gave the microphone to Erika.

MYOTISMON: “Couldn’t have said it better myself!” (smirks)

“And now for the final battle between—“

ANT (Erika): “Me and the pickle jar!”

Erika’s speech was cut short by Domino. “Lightning versus lightning!”

Giovanni put his hand on Domino’s shoulder. “No. I want to see how Jessie will fight.”

MYOTISMON: “Me too, if I let some girl be on my team, she’d better be good.”

Domino stuck her lower lip out and pouted as she let the final battle go on.

GILES (Erika): “And it’s a pouting contest between Domino and Jessie! The tension’s unbearable, who will win? Giovanni, what do you think?”

Ant (Giovanni): “Well, my Domino has a very strong lower lip, so she’ll defeat Jessie with ease.”

“And,” Erika continued, “now it’s the battle of judgment. Jessie versus James! Which member is more powerful?”

LEGOLAS: “Well, my member’s pretty strong.” (giggles)

MYOTISMON (winks): “Let’s that out that theory later, shall we?”

ANT: “*Really* didn’t need to know that.”

“I’m betting the redhead will win,” said one of the people.

GILES (On Jessie’s behalf): “It’s pink!”

“I think it’s the blue-haired dude,” argued another.

ANT: (On James’ behalf): “It’s purple!”

“Let the battle of judgement begin!” Erika exclaimed. “Two pokemon each!”

GILES: “So it’ll be James’ Mud-spewing Weezing and his James-eating Victreebell against Jessie’s uber-Arbok? Gee, I wonder who’s going to win.”

Jessie stared at James. James stared at Jessie. They were waiting to catch the other off guard.

LEGOLAS: “This is soooo exciting!” (squeals)

“Jessie,” said James. “I’ve been hoping that this day would never have to come.”

ANT (James): “It hurts me to say this, but there is no Santa Claus.”

LEGOLAS: “There isn’t?!” (Starts sobbing onto Myo’s shoulder.)

MYOTISMON (pats Legolas): “There, there, of course there is a Santa Clause. (glares at Ant.) “Right, Ant?”

ANT (sweatdrop): “Er, yeah, sure.”

“James,” said Jessie. “I knew one day we’d be pitted against each other. I didn’t know it would come so soon!”

“That’s right!” James exclaimed. “Victoreebell, GO!” He threw a pokeball, and Victoreebell did the same thing he always did:

MYOTISMON: “Explode into little tiny bits of plantthing!”

try to eat James.

LEGOLAS: “Eww, that can’t be hygienic.”

“Ha ha!” Jessie laughed, pulling on her eyelids and sticking out her tongue. “I choose, you, Ar—“

ANT (Jessie): “Arcanine!”

GILES (Director): “Cut. Jessie, it’s Arbok! Try to remember your lines, will you?”

ANT (Jessie): “Oops, my bad!”

Before she could call Arbok out of his pokeball, Wubberfett beat him to it. “WOOOOOHHHHHHH BBBUUUUUUUHHHHHH FFFEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTT!”

LEGOLAS: “Amazing how long some big blue pudding ball can stretch out words.”

Then he saluted.

ANT (Wobbuhfett): “Soldier Wobbuhfett reportin’ for duty, ma’am!”

“Aw CRAP!” Jessie exclaimed. “Get back into your pokeball NOW!”

GILES: “Hey, that’s illegal, once it’s out, it stays out!”

ANT: “Bet you said that to Ethan all the time, huh?”

“Get off me!” James shouted, twisting around as if his life depended on it.

LEGOLAS: “Let’s face it. It does!”

Victoreebell finally flew right off.

“Lickytung, GO!” Jessie threw a pokeball, and Lickytung came right out.

ANT: “A glitch in the Matrix! She can’t have Lickytung AND Wobbuhfett at the same time!”

GILES: “Fan-fic, Anthony, fan-fic.”

“Lickyyyyyyyyyy…” Lickytung extended his long tongue and wrapped James up in it.

LEGOLAS: “That can’t be hygienice either.”

MYOTISMON: “Why do all Pokémon want to eat him? He doesn’t look particular yummy to me.”

Then he flew right to the ground.

Jessie started advancing on James. “I always knew I was the more powerful member, James,” she told him. “You just didn’t—“

GILES (Jessie): “Have enough campness to battle the great Myotismon, puny boy!”

“Weezing, I choose YOU!” James weakly threw his pokeball.

“WEEZING!” Weezing used his sludge attack all over Lickytung’s face.

LEGOLAS: “Eww, more lack of hygiene!”

ANT: “Hey, if you’re gonna fight, you’re gonna get dirty.”

LEGOLAS: “Hah, I never had a spat of mud on my face during the entire Lord of the Rings, and I fought a lot, I can tell you. It’s all a matter of trying. They just don’t try anymore!”

“Lickytung, return!” Jessie exclaimed, calling back her pokemon. “Luckily for me I have my secret weapon.” She kissed her third and final pokeball. “Arbok, GO!” She threw her pokeball and Arbok came right out.

LEGOLAS: “Waah! Demon, demon, kill it!” (hides in Myotismon arms)

MYOTISMON: “There, there, beloved, I won’t let the nasty snake kill you.” (pats Legolas)

ANT: “You know, that’d be really sweet, if Myo wasn’t an evil Digimon and Legolas wasn’t an Elf from a different dimension.”

“CHAAAAAAAAR-BOK!” He bared his deadly rattlesnake fangs and started releasing poison darts from his crest.

GILES: “That’s unfair, he started attacking before the fight officially began, that’s not nice.”

ANT: “Evil snakes don’t have to be nice, it’s not in their job description.”

“And it looks like Jessie has chosen her secret weapon, Arbok!

MYOTISMON: “If everybody knows about the damn thing, it’s not much of a secret weapon, is it?”

I think this is a victory for Team Rocket Mon!” Erika exclaimed.

Unfortunately for Jessie, James had TWO poekmon out of their pokeballs.

LEGOLAS: “No, not poekmon! What’re poekmon?”

GILES: “Typo, just try to ignore them.”

Weezing filled the area with smoke that was so opaque it obliterated everything from Jessie’s and Arbok’s view.

MYOTISMON: “I’m not sure what ‘obliterating’ is, but sounds violent. I like it!”

“Chaa? Chaa?” Arbok looked around frantically in confusion.

“Victoreebell, use stun spore!” James exclaimed faintly.

GILES (James): “Must…watch…Melrose…Place…”

Victoreebell let out a loud screech, then released Stun Spore on Arbok. Then Weezing sludged both Jessie and Arbok in the face. Then Victoreebell used vine whip. CRASH!

ANT: “Lightning struck, and all were dead. Aww, poor characters.”

Arbok was called back.

Finally, Victoreebell used his stun spore again on Jessie. She fell to the street and blacked out.

“And a victory for Team Rocket!” Erika exclaimed. “What a fight! What a fight!”

MYOTISMON: “Boo! Kick the chick out of my team and get purple boy in!”

“Hey, no fair, two against one!” Jenny remarked.

MYOTISMON: “They’re stealing my fighting style. I’m suing.”

“But hey, at least Team Rocket proved they could win something for once!”

LEGOLAS: “Even if it is by cheating. There’s no honour in cheating, you know.

ANT: “There’s victory in cheating, that’s important.”

“You may have won this round,” said Myotismon, “but I will return! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

GILES: “What, only two exclamation marks? I’m dissapointed.”

A cloud of fog and bats flew around all three members of Team Rocket Mon and the stagecoach, and it all disappeared.

ANT: “It was all just a dream, and when James woke up, he decided to express his undying love for Jessie.”

LEGOLAS: “Aww.”

ANT: “And wash his brains to get the mental picture of Meowth doing it with Gatomon out of his head.”

LEGOLAS: “Less aww.”

The Bakemon? What about the Bakemon? They disappeared because they couldn’t find the maiden.

GILES: “Quitters! In my days, we would have chased a maiden ‘till we would’ve found her!”

ANT: “Or settle for each other, right?”

GILES: “Well, that’s just the pot calling the kettle black, isn’t it?”

“A victory?” James stood there, dumbfounded. “For me? I’ve never had a real victory before in my life.

LEGOLAS (James): “Even my three-year old cousin beats me at tic-tac-toe!”

Hey, you OK, man?”

ANT (James): “Yo bro, wat up?”

Mondo looked at the large burn mark that had appeared across his chest. His uniform was singed and torn.

GILES (as tourist guide): “And on your left you can see the traditional scantially clad pretty boy.”

LEGOLAS: “Who isn’t nearly as pretty as me.”

Ditto was in his pokeball. “Geez, I never knew how powerful that blonde guy was. Without him, Jessie’s nothing!”

MYOTISMON: “You know, I quite like this fic. I win AND they call me powerful!”

“We need to get back to headquarters,” said Domino. “Where’s Giovanni?”

MYOTISMON (Rocket): “Went to the bathroom. The sight of Mondo half-naked made him sick.”

James nudged Domino and pointed to one of the food booths, where Giovanni was pigging out on fried cheese curds. He just couldn’t stop eating cheese no matter what.

ANT: “What, so even if he has to really, really go to the bathroom, he’d still be eating cheese? That’s disgusting.”

“I mean, he won against the RocketMen AND Butch and Cassidy! Jessie didn’t win.

MYOTISMON: “Well, at least Jessie did something. Gio didn’t get off his fat ass. I may be the leader of a criminal gang, at least I do my own fighting.”

She was just eye candy,” Domino continued. “What is Myotismon, a mega?”

MYOTISMON: “Actually, I’m an UltimateSuperUltraMegaWorldChampion Digimon.”

She took out her poke/digidex and looked up the information.

“Level: Champion,” said the poke/digidex’s voice.

“HE’S ONLY A CHAMPION?” asked James. “I could have sworn he was an ultimate!”

LEGOLAS: “He’s not too smart, good for him he’s has some prettiness.”

“He’s not,” said Domino. “He’s a champion with the power of an ultimate. It says so in the DigiDex2002, the most up-to-date guide in the world.”

GILES: “Well, according to my DigiDex 2003, Myotismon is just an arrogant bastard.”

(Myotismon and Legolas glare)

GILES: “Of course, I could be wrong.”

“I’ve let the masters down again,” said Demidevimon after he was locked up. “I didn’t know! Those pokemon aren’t as pathetic as I imagined them to be, you know!”

ANT: “Yeah, power to the Pokémon!”

“That’s right,” said Gatomon. “They aren’t.”

LEGOLAS: “Hey, where was she when the father of her children had to fight for his life, huh? She doesn’t care about him!”

Demidevimon stared at Gatomon’s widening stomach. Only two and a half weeks were left before the kittens arrived.

GILES: “Any bets to the ammount of gross details?”

ANT: “Ewrglh, that’s one chapter I really don’t want to read.”

“Have you been sneaking fish while you’re on your missions, Gatomon? You better lose that weight before THEY learn about it.”

MYOTISMON (Demidevimon): “Watch it Gatomon, or you’ll steal Giovanni’s ‘World Fattest Thing’ Award.”

“You caught me, furball-mon,” said Gatomon. “Yeah, I’ve been eating extra fish. They say Jhotoan fish build character.

GILES: “So do early-in-the-morning fishing trips with your father, but she’s not doing that.” (muttering) “Bloody bait, bloody hook getting stuck on everything but the fish.”

ANT: “I hear ya, buddy.”

And I do not mean those Magic Crap or whatever it’s called.

ANT: “She’s been eating Magic cards? Wow, I didn’t know eating those build character. Remind me to raid Dec’s collection later on.”

I mean REAL fish. Authentic fish.”

MYOTISMON (Gatomon): “Not the knock-off Mexican version.”

“OK, OK,” said Demidevimon, preparing himself for one of Gatomon’s ramblings about fish. “Do I look awful?”

LEGOLAS (Demidevimon): “It’s okay, you can tell, does this dress make me look fat?”

GILES (a la Al Bundy): “The fact that you’re fat, makes you look fat. That dress just makes you look hideous.”

LEGOLAS: “I’m not really fat! Am I fat, Myokins?”

MYOTISMON (pats him): “Of course you’re not fat, beloved, you look great.”

“If I told the truth you’d die from grief,” said Gatomon.

MYOTISMON: “Tell him, Gatomon, I won’t mind.”

“You remind me of someone with eyes like mine. You remind me of my paws. You look like someone’s gone over you with a very sharp rake.”

GILES (Gatoman): “Or a lawnmower, it’s hard to tell the difference.”

“Ow, that hurts,” said Demidevimon sarcastically.

“That’s it, I’m leaving,” said Gatomon, turning around. “If I hang out around you any longer my brain will melt.”

ANT: “My my, they’re just getting wittier by the chapter, aren’t they?”

GILES: “Well, after eleven chapters the ‘no brain’ jokes run out.”

ANT: “It’s far better to have lame jokes, than to never have any jokes at all.”

She went down the hall, her tail twitching. She ran and found herself looking right into the next room, and she couldn’t believe the sight that was before her eyes.

LEGOLAS: “It was an all you can eat fish buffet! For free!”

“I can’t believe it, master,” said Jessie. “You survived all that and me? I let you down.” She began to cry softly.

MYOTISMON: “She’s only human, she can’t help being a pathetic weakling.”

ANT: “You know, you and Vegeta would get on great, I bet.”

And then Gatomon saw a sight more surprising than anything:

GILES: “Jessie took of her skirt, and turned out to be a man!”

a sentimental moment. It made her do a double take, and possibly a spit take as well. Jessie was with Myotismon, and she laid her head against him. MM began to stroke his gloved fingers through her soft hair. It wasn’t a seduction thing.

ANT: “Right, maybe he’s destracting her and then move in for the kill!”

GILES: “Not in this author’s world.”

ANT: “I can hope, can’t I?”

Gatomon blinked. Jessie slid even closer, and then it looked as if she were any closer she’d be sitting on him. Then the two villains did something they had never done in their lives. Love. In love. Make love.

ANT: “Aargh! The mental pictures!”

LEGOLAS: “You wouldn’t do something like that to that human, would you Myokins?”

MYOTISMON: “Wouldn’t dream of it, beloved.”

“You are my first true love,” said Jessie in a soft voice as she laid her hand on MM’s.

GILES: “There’s dozens of boys out there, very dissapointed in Jessie right now.”

Gatomon pinched herself, for she might have been dreaming.

ANT: “Nightmare! The word is nightmare!”

Never in her life had she seen such emotion. Such profound love. Among villains. It almost made her cry. And she wasn’t dreaming, either.

LEGOLAS: “Then she might’ve woken up from this ghastly nightmare!”

“You have beautiful eyes,” said Myotismon.

Gatomon used all the willpower she had to not burst in there and curse with the worst swears imaginable. I mean, EYES! She had been scarred for having her eyes, and there was Jessie, being loved for her eyes?

GILES: “The author’s pretty big on the eye thing, I wonder why?”

ANT: “Maybe she was teased about her eyes and is suffering a traume?”

LEGOLAS: “An author works in mysterious ways. Let’s not bother with it for now.”

OMG, this was just awful for the others. Romance again.