A/N: Is it just me, or are these chapters getting longer every time?

GILES: “It certainly feels that way.”

Now I’d like to give my friends (and a reviewer) some answers to some things they wrote. For Sabrina Black: You will find a little surprise.

ANT (evilly, as author): “In your shoes! My dog left it there personally!”

And I will remember that thing is called a pokedex. For valeri: It might be a tie…

MYOTISMON (Author): “Then again, it might be a bow, who knows?”

you’ll just have to read and find out! Like you said, ANYTHING can happen!

GILES: “Well, I doubt there’ll be a weird crossover with the Buffy-universe.”

LEGOLAS: “Tell them to stay away from my universe. The place is flooding with hormone-driven teenage girls as it is!” (Giles nods sympatically) “And they’re making a mess of Rivendell, stealing all the gowns, and taking forever in the bathroom, and worst of all…”

ANT: “They want to go with you on the quest?”

LEGOLAS: “That too, but some of them dare to suggest I’m not the prettiest Fellowship member! Some of them think Frodo is actually adorable, can you believe that?”

ANT: “Well, he does have those big blue eyes…”

LEGOLAS (Takes out knife): “Say that again?”

ANT (freaked out): “Er, I meant *you* have those big blue eyes!”

For Shadow Rider: I’ll tell you why at school. Now I think I must get going or the world will hate me!

MYOTISMON: “Yes, go, go and delete this fic, there’s a good girl.”

And this is NOT the last chapter! This is actually the first fight.

ANT (surprised): “But, there were earlier fights, weren’t there?”

GILES: “Obviously those weren’t important enough.”

Chapter 11

Trouble at Maiden’s Rock

If you were asleep before the last few commercial breaks (joke),

LEGOLAS (laughs politely)

GILES: “It’s a bad sign indeed if they have to point out it’s a joke.”

the ghost festival on Maiden’s Rock was taking place when James, Mondo, Meowth, Domino, and Giovanni crashed the party.

ANT: “And in Giovanni’s case, we may take this literally.”

Having arrived at the shore, a new surprise was unveiled on the streets:

GILES: “It was clean!”

ANT: “Pssh, lousy surprise, that is.”

GILES: “Look, it’s a festival! A clean street would be very surprising.”

Team Rocket Mon. Now for a battle on the streets of Porta Vista!

Face to face. Villain versus villain. Team Rocket versus Team Rocket Mon.

MYOTISMON: “It would be decided once and for all…”

ANT: “Who was the true master of…”

LEGOLAS: “Kittens!”

ANT: “Kittens?”

LEGOLAS: “They’re fluffy, cute and adorable! Who wouldn’t want to have ‘em as pets?”

Lucky Gatomon wasn’t there.

LEGOLAS: “Unlucky Gatomon however, was there. Who’s Gatomon anyway?”

GILES: “Some female cat-thing who likes rolling in catnip with other cats and gets pregnant with hybrid kittens.”

LEGOLAS (tsk’ing): “That is no way to act for a lady!”

“You’re going down!” remarked Mondo.

“Not if we take you first!” exclaimed Demidevimon, gripping a Demi Dart.

ANT (Mondo): “You suck!”

SPIKE (Demidevimon): “Yeah, well, you suck more!”

“So you’re Jessie’s little dream team,” said Giovanni, stepping in front of Team Rocket Mon.

GILES: “The whole of it?”

ANT (singing to ‘I’m Fat’): “He’s fat, he’s fat, we know it.”

He looked at Jessie. “Stubborn.” Then Demidevimon.

ANT (Giovanni): “Weird.”

“Stupid.” Finally Myotismon.

MYOTISMON (grins): “Supercool.”

“And skinny.

MYOTISMON: “Hey! I can’t help if it if I digest food quickly. I’ve tried, you know, to put on some more weight! All the other Evil Digimon make fun of it, they call me Stickmon!”

How can this stupid team fight Team Rocket without losing?” He started laughing his head off. “And you just stole the motto!”

GILES: “No, I’m pretty sure they were parodying.”

“I’LL SHOW YOU STUPID! DEMI DART!” Demidevimon shot his Demi Dart at Giovanni, who keeled over when it penetrated his skin and suit.

LEGOLAS: “I refuse to believe one measly dart was able to penetrate those layers of fat!”

ANT (giggling): “You said ‘penetrate’.”

“Why Giovanni,” said Jessie. “Long time no see.” She started advancing on him, circling around him like a vulture as the crowds looked on.

GILES: “Who didn’t feel the need to call the police, or run away, or something like that, oh no.”

She grabbed a bit of the fat put on from all the cheese he ate. “Put on a little weight, haven’t you?”

MYOTISMON: “Hmm, maybe I should try his diet.”

LEGOLAS: “And if that doesn’t work, we can form a alliance! The Alliance of Skinny, Pretty Blond Beings!

MYOTISMON: “I like the sound of that!”

Domino ran up to Jessie and whacked her wrist. “You leave Giovanni alone!” She brandished her black rose, and it started glowing an unearthly blue glow.

GILES: “And here’s me thinking something that’s black should glow black, silly me.”

LEGOLAS (squealing): “Isn’t that just the prettiest blue glowing rose you’ve ever seen? Well, not as pretty me, naturally, but still very, very pretty!”

“Y-your dream team is no good against us, Jessie,” said Giovanni, struggling to stand up, but rolling over again.

GILES (Giovanni): “Damn my desire to learn skate-boarding!”

“There’s only one way to find out,” said Mondo, holding out his pokeball. “LET’S BATTLE! Ditto, I choose you!” He threw it and Ditto came out.

ANT: “What’s the rating for this fic? First Jessie falls for Myotismon, Meowth gets Gatomon pregnant, and now Ditto turns out to be gay?”

MYOTISMON: “Wait, the hot red-haired chick wants me? Score!”

GILES: “You wouldn’t be saying that if you had to read it.”

ANT: “And I wouldn’t call it ‘red’ if I were you.”

“Di-tto.”

“Golbats, I choose you!” Myotismon spread his cape out and unleashed over a hundred Golbats out at the Team Rocket members and the crowd.

LEGOLAS: “Cheaters never prosper, you know!”

MYOTISMON: “Cool, those bat-things are WAY bigger than my normal bats. Where do I buy ‘em?”

Mothers shielded their children and themselves.

GILES: “Eh, how exactly? They’d shield their children by standing in front of them, and they’d shield themselves by putting their children in front of them.”

ANT: “They’re probably all standing behind Giovanni.”

“Oh yeah?” Mondo was more ready than ever to fight.

“Yeah!” Demidevimon added, brandishing another Demi Dart.

“You’re going down,” said Meowth, sticking out a shiny, sharp claw.

ANT (Demidevimon): “You fight like a cow!”

MYOTISMON (thoughtful): “Maybe I should try this with the digi-destined. After all, if the girls fight for me, those boys can never beat me! My pick-up lines may need work though…”

LEGOLAS: “Ooh! You can practice on me!”

MYOTISMON: “Great!”

ANT: “Myo, er, you do know that Legolas is a guy?”

MYOTISMON: “He is?” (eyes Legolas) “What the hell.” (tackles Legolas, who squeales)

(Ant and Giles stare)

LEGOLAS: “Can we have some privacy here?” (giggles) “Myo, that tickles!”

(Ant and Giles stare intently at the screen.)

The crowd parted again before anyone could do anything to reveal… Jenny and Erika! They were back!

ANT: “From the dead!”

“Yes, we’re back and ready to fight!” Erika exclaimed. “But I see you’re kind of busy, so…”

GILES (Erika): “We’ll just leave quietly. Bye!”

“Yes, it’s Fight Number 1 between Team Rocket and Team Rocket Mon! Round #1 is Meowth versus Demidevimon!”

ANT (Jenny): “The winner gets to keep Togepi!”

GILES: “It still amazes me no one has thrown that egg thing in the frying pan yet.”

ANT: “Maybe they’re fattening it?”

MYOTISMON: “You know, if anyone wants me to cook some of those fluffy things hanging ‘round the satellite, jusy say the word.”

LEGOLAS: “You wouldn’t dare hurt the Cute Fluffy Things! They’re cute! And fluffy!”

GILES: “Back from snogging then, have you?”

MYOTISMON: “Well, I’m not going to ‘snog’ someone in a movie theater. Us evil villains have *some* dignity, you know.”

Jenny held out a microphone and spoke to the crowd, who looked on intently, wondering who to cheer for.

“You are SO going down,” said Demidevimon. “What chance does a pokemon like you have against a digimon like me? I will digivolve to Devimon someday and take you

GILES (Demidevimon): “To the carnaval!”

do—“

ANT: “Do’h, the sound that Homer makes.”

GILES: “Ray, a guy I used to er, know.”

LEGOLAS: “Me! The prettiest Elf in here!”

MYOTISMON: “Er, what comes after Do-re-mi?”

(Embarrassed silence. No one knows)

While he was speaking, Meowth got ready to pounce. His tail twitched, his eyes narrowed,

ANT: “His stomach turned.”

GILES (Giovanni): “Meowth, vomit attack!”

and then he leapt up into the air and scratched Demidevimon across the wings.

“AAAAAAAAAH!” He fluttered to the ground helplessly, still clutching his Demi Dart like it was a crown jewel. “I’m not finished yet!

ANT: “Yeah, pouncing isn’t much of a fatality.”

DEMI DART!” He hurled the Demi Dart right into Meowth’s arm.

“MEOOOOWWWWWWTH!” Meowth clutched his arm in agony.

LEGOLAS: “I could do that SO much better.” (flips hair) “It needs more drama.” (stands up)

ANT (holding him back): “We don’t need a demostration.”

“And what looked like a loss for Demidevimon turned into an excellent comeback!” Erika commented.

GILES (Erika): “I haven’t seen a comeback like this since ‘Frozen’ by Madonna!”

“Could Team Rocket Mon not seem so pathetic?

LEGOLAS: “That sounds like those Mary-Sue authors, trying to write in Olde English. Except they add –eth to each verb.”

Let’s ask the cheese-a-holic Giovanni.” She pointed the mike right at Giovanni, hoping for a response.

MYOTISMON: “So cheese is his secret. I’ll have to look into that.”

“Your claws are no match for my talons!” Demidevimon exclaimed, swiping those things across Meowth’s face and stomach and back.

ANT: “In a familiar pattern, the Z from Zorro!”

GILES: “I’ve always wondered about that, isn’t it convenient that he has an alias with easy to carve initials?”

ANT: “Well, if you’re going to carve the first letter of your name in people’s shirts, you’re not going to call yourself Bob, are you?”

Meowth fell onto the street in agony.

LEGOLAS: “What, again? Only just then he was clutching his arm in agony.” (shakes head) “A dissapointing lack of thesaurus use.”

“And this looks like a victory for Team Rocket Mon—“ Erika began.

ANT: “She wasn’t able to finish, since a huge rock fell on her head.”

MYOTISMON: “Score team Me and Hot Red-Haired Chick!”

GILES: “Good thing Jessie isn’t here, she’s lethal with a mallet.”

MYOTISMON: “Psah, roaring fire-breathing dinosaurs didn’t kill me, a mere mallet won’t even hurt me!”

ANT: “I’d watch my words if I were you, she’s got pretty good hearing.”

“No!” Meowth was raging mad. He seemed to get a burst of adrenalin right then. He struggled to stand up on all fours, shaking.

GILES: “I thought he was able to stand on two paws?”

ANT: “Maybe his falling and clutching in agony had some effect on his brain, or whatever it is he thinks with.”

Even Demidevimon looked surprised. “I won’t let them win! RRRR!” He finally managed to attain balance on two paws.

ANT: “Why didn’t Meowth attack him when Demidevimon was trying to stand up?”

LEGOLAS: “Don’t you know anything of honour? Hitting an enemy when he can’t stand is unfair!”

MYOTISMON: “So?”

His body was a scratched-up mess, and a real sight to be seen. It was amazing how he could do that. “Meowth chooses Meowth! And Meowth decides to use his attacks!”

GILES: “Unlike his defences, which he usually uses to attack.”

“Cut the blab, kitty, before I attack again!” Demidevimon held out a Demi Dart.

ANT: “Ooooone huuuuundred aaaaaaand eeeeeiiiiighty!”

“Meowth, use PAY DAY! MEEEEOOOOOWWWWWWWTH!” He spun around with all his might, then, like magic, a ton of gold charms flew right out of him, hitting Demidevimon one by one before he hit the street.

MYOTISMON: “Wow, that’s an attack worth knowing.”

LEGOLAS: “His attacks leave pretty gold pieces behind? Shiny!”

ANT: “Hey, when did he learn Pay Day? He can’t!”

GILES: “There, there, Ant, it’s fanfic. Everything’s possible.”

Meowth rushed right over, prepared to finish the job. “Meowth, use Fury Swipes! MEOWTH MEOWTH MEOWTH!” Never was Meowth so eager to fight.

ANT: “Oh, I get it, he lost his ability to speak, in order to do Pay Day.”

“And an even more astonishing comeback for Meowth of Team Rocket, using his Pay Day attack for the very first time!” Erika exclaimed. “Amazing!”

“Hey, whose side are you on?” asked one of the spectators as Demidevimon lay there on the street.

LEGOLAs: “Isn’t somebody going to help him? He’s bleeding to death.”

MYOTISMON: “I don’t need losers on my team.”

“And it’s a victory for Team Rocket!” Jenny exclaimed, grabbing the microphone. “But Demidevimon was just the weakest link. And now let’s give it up for the strongest links. Myotismon versus Mondo, in Round Number Two! This should be intersting.”

MYOTISMON: “Only if you want to see the quickest defeat of Mondo ever.” (grins)

“Ditto, I choose you!” Mondo exclaimed. “Now change into a Scyther!”

GILES (as Ditto): “It’s always change into this, change into that! You never appreciate me for who I really am!”

ANT: “A big blob of pink that can’t really do anything but breed with any Pokémon?”

LEGOLAS: “This story has no morals what so ever!”

Ditto glowed, then morphed into one of the strongest Scythers around. “SCYTHER!” Ditto exclaimed.

“And Mondo has a good strategy in morphing his Ditto into a Scyther,” said Jenny. “Excellent!”

ANT: “Air guitar!” (proceeds to play air guitar, until Myotismon smacks him)

“GRISLY WING!” Myotismon attacked the Scyther with just regular bats, not Golbats.

MYOTISMON: “That’s right me, you don’t have to waste the big bats on that loser.”

It didn’t seem to make a difference. They surrounded Scyther (Ditto), who tried to swat at them with his razor hands.

GILES: “Hmm, I’ve always thought running with razors was dangerous, let alone fighting with them.”

“And Myotismon makes an excellent comeback with his first technique!” Jenny exclaimed. “I’ve seen this kind of fighting before when I posed as a member!”

MYOTISMON: “Hey, why didn’t I kill her then?”

GILES (shrugs): “You just let her waltz out of your secret lair.”

MYOTISMON: “What?! How dare that author make me look stupid!”

Scyther (Ditto) finally managed to slice enough bats so his view wasn’t obstructed. He saw Myotismon, and MM was ready to attack again.

ANT: “MM for Mighty Myotismon!”

GILES: “Could be MMM though.”

LEGOLAS: “Mmm, Myotismon.”

“Quick, Ditto!” Mondo exclaimed. “Change into Alakazam!”

The Scyther nodded, then transformed into an Alakazam. “ALAKAZAM!” Hundreds of brain

ANT: “Hundreds of brains? Eww.”

waves flew out at everything, freezing nearly everything in place.

ANT: “Oh, that’s okay then. Well, not for the freezing, but for the ‘no brain’ thing.”

GILES: “Talking about yourself again?”

“Perhaps I underestimated you, Mondo,” said Myotismon. “CRIMSON LIGHTNING!” Out flew a bolt of red-hot lightning at Alakazam. Alakazam tried to force it back at its producer, but it just stayed there.

MYOTISMON: “Woohoo! I rule!”

LEGOLAS: “Pretty colours! Where I’m from, lightning’s a boring yellow, but this looks much better!”

“And so this fight isn’t really getting anywhere,” said Jenny. “Of course, Ditto has the advantage here because he can transform into anything he wants.”

ANT (Mondo): “Ditto, transform into a naked Jessie!”

GILES: “You are incredibly lucky she isn’t in here.”

“ALAKAZAM!” Alakazam shot out extremely strong waves at all the members of Team Rocket Mon.

LEGOLAS: “That’s nice, now they can go surfing.”

“CRIMSON LIGHTNING!” MM produced a bolt of lightning stronger than the previous one. And that did something.

MYOTISMON: “It blew all the Team Rocket people up!”

It flew right out at Alakazam, knocking him over and making him transform back into Ditto.

MYOTISMON: “What, no cool explosions?”

“No, Ditto!” Mondo exclaimed, only to see another bolt of lightning hit him and Ditto, forcing them back and making them hit the lamppost behind them.

“And the victory goes to the champion digimon Myotismon! I swear, with him in Team Rocket Mon, nothing can stop them!” Jenny gave the microphone to Erika.

MYOTISMON: “Couldn’t have said it better myself!” (smirks)

“And now for the final battle between—“

ANT (Erika): “Me and the pickle jar!”

Erika’s speech was cut short by Domino. “Lightning versus lightning!”

Giovanni put his hand on Domino’s shoulder. “No. I want to see how Jessie will fight.”

MYOTISMON: “Me too, if I let some girl be on my team, she’d better be good.”

Domino stuck her lower lip out and pouted as she let the final battle go on.

GILES (Erika): “And it’s a pouting contest between Domino and Jessie! The tension’s unbearable, who will win? Giovanni, what do you think?”

Ant (Giovanni): “Well, my Domino has a very strong lower lip, so she’ll defeat Jessie with ease.”

“And,” Erika continued, “now it’s the battle of judgment. Jessie versus James! Which member is more powerful?”

LEGOLAS: “Well, my member’s pretty strong.” (giggles)

MYOTISMON (winks): “Let’s that out that theory later, shall we?”

ANT: “*Really* didn’t need to know that.”

“I’m betting the redhead will win,” said one of the people.

GILES (On Jessie’s behalf): “It’s pink!”

“I think it’s the blue-haired dude,” argued another.

ANT: (On James’ behalf): “It’s purple!”

“Let the battle of judgement begin!” Erika exclaimed. “Two pokemon each!”

GILES: “So it’ll be James’ Mud-spewing Weezing and his James-eating Victreebell against Jessie’s uber-Arbok? Gee, I wonder who’s going to win.”

Jessie stared at James. James stared at Jessie. They were waiting to catch the other off guard.

LEGOLAS: “This is soooo exciting!” (squeals)

“Jessie,” said James. “I’ve been hoping that this day would never have to come.”

ANT (James): “It hurts me to say this, but there is no Santa Claus.”

LEGOLAS: “There isn’t?!” (Starts sobbing onto Myo’s shoulder.)

MYOTISMON (pats Legolas): “There, there, of course there is a Santa Clause. (glares at Ant.) “Right, Ant?”

ANT (sweatdrop): “Er, yeah, sure.”

“James,” said Jessie. “I knew one day we’d be pitted against each other. I didn’t know it would come so soon!”

“That’s right!” James exclaimed. “Victoreebell, GO!” He threw a pokeball, and Victoreebell did the same thing he always did:

MYOTISMON: “Explode into little tiny bits of plantthing!”

try to eat James.

LEGOLAS: “Eww, that can’t be hygienic.”

“Ha ha!” Jessie laughed, pulling on her eyelids and sticking out her tongue. “I choose, you, Ar—“

ANT (Jessie): “Arcanine!”

GILES (Director): “Cut. Jessie, it’s Arbok! Try to remember your lines, will you?”

ANT (Jessie): “Oops, my bad!”

Before she could call Arbok out of his pokeball, Wubberfett beat him to it. “WOOOOOHHHHHHH BBBUUUUUUUHHHHHH FFFEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTT!”

LEGOLAS: “Amazing how long some big blue pudding ball can stretch out words.”

Then he saluted.

ANT (Wobbuhfett): “Soldier Wobbuhfett reportin’ for duty, ma’am!”

“Aw CRAP!” Jessie exclaimed. “Get back into your pokeball NOW!”

GILES: “Hey, that’s illegal, once it’s out, it stays out!”

ANT: “Bet you said that to Ethan all the time, huh?”

“Get off me!” James shouted, twisting around as if his life depended on it.

LEGOLAS: “Let’s face it. It does!”

Victoreebell finally flew right off.

“Lickytung, GO!” Jessie threw a pokeball, and Lickytung came right out.

ANT: “A glitch in the Matrix! She can’t have Lickytung AND Wobbuhfett at the same time!”

GILES: “Fan-fic, Anthony, fan-fic.”

“Lickyyyyyyyyyy…” Lickytung extended his long tongue and wrapped James up in it.

LEGOLAS: “That can’t be hygienice either.”

MYOTISMON: “Why do all Pokémon want to eat him? He doesn’t look particular yummy to me.”

Then he flew right to the ground.

Jessie started advancing on James. “I always knew I was the more powerful member, James,” she told him. “You just didn’t—“

GILES (Jessie): “Have enough campness to battle the great Myotismon, puny boy!”

“Weezing, I choose YOU!” James weakly threw his pokeball.

“WEEZING!” Weezing used his sludge attack all over Lickytung’s face.

LEGOLAS: “Eww, more lack of hygiene!”

ANT: “Hey, if you’re gonna fight, you’re gonna get dirty.”

LEGOLAS: “Hah, I never had a spat of mud on my face during the entire Lord of the Rings, and I fought a lot, I can tell you. It’s all a matter of trying. They just don’t try anymore!”

“Lickytung, return!” Jessie exclaimed, calling back her pokemon. “Luckily for me I have my secret weapon.” She kissed her third and final pokeball. “Arbok, GO!” She threw her pokeball and Arbok came right out.

LEGOLAS: “Waah! Demon, demon, kill it!” (hides in Myotismon arms)

MYOTISMON: “There, there, beloved, I won’t let the nasty snake kill you.” (pats Legolas)

ANT: “You know, that’d be really sweet, if Myo wasn’t an evil Digimon and Legolas wasn’t an Elf from a different dimension.”

“CHAAAAAAAAR-BOK!” He bared his deadly rattlesnake fangs and started releasing poison darts from his crest.

GILES: “That’s unfair, he started attacking before the fight officially began, that’s not nice.”

ANT: “Evil snakes don’t have to be nice, it’s not in their job description.”

“And it looks like Jessie has chosen her secret weapon, Arbok!

MYOTISMON: “If everybody knows about the damn thing, it’s not much of a secret weapon, is it?”

I think this is a victory for Team Rocket Mon!” Erika exclaimed.

Unfortunately for Jessie, James had TWO poekmon out of their pokeballs.

LEGOLAS: “No, not poekmon! What’re poekmon?”

GILES: “Typo, just try to ignore them.”

Weezing filled the area with smoke that was so opaque it obliterated everything from Jessie’s and Arbok’s view.

MYOTISMON: “I’m not sure what ‘obliterating’ is, but sounds violent. I like it!”

“Chaa? Chaa?” Arbok looked around frantically in confusion.

“Victoreebell, use stun spore!” James exclaimed faintly.

GILES (James): “Must…watch…Melrose…Place…”

Victoreebell let out a loud screech, then released Stun Spore on Arbok. Then Weezing sludged both Jessie and Arbok in the face. Then Victoreebell used vine whip. CRASH!

ANT: “Lightning struck, and all were dead. Aww, poor characters.”

Arbok was called back.

Finally, Victoreebell used his stun spore again on Jessie. She fell to the street and blacked out.

“And a victory for Team Rocket!” Erika exclaimed. “What a fight! What a fight!”

MYOTISMON: “Boo! Kick the chick out of my team and get purple boy in!”

“Hey, no fair, two against one!” Jenny remarked.

MYOTISMON: “They’re stealing my fighting style. I’m suing.”

“But hey, at least Team Rocket proved they could win something for once!”

LEGOLAS: “Even if it is by cheating. There’s no honour in cheating, you know.

ANT: “There’s victory in cheating, that’s important.”

“You may have won this round,” said Myotismon, “but I will return! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

GILES: “What, only two exclamation marks? I’m dissapointed.”

A cloud of fog and bats flew around all three members of Team Rocket Mon and the stagecoach, and it all disappeared.

ANT: “It was all just a dream, and when James woke up, he decided to express his undying love for Jessie.”

LEGOLAS: “Aww.”

ANT: “And wash his brains to get the mental picture of Meowth doing it with Gatomon out of his head.”

LEGOLAS: “Less aww.”

The Bakemon? What about the Bakemon? They disappeared because they couldn’t find the maiden.

GILES: “Quitters! In my days, we would have chased a maiden ‘till we would’ve found her!”

ANT: “Or settle for each other, right?”

GILES: “Well, that’s just the pot calling the kettle black, isn’t it?”

“A victory?” James stood there, dumbfounded. “For me? I’ve never had a real victory before in my life.

LEGOLAS (James): “Even my three-year old cousin beats me at tic-tac-toe!”

Hey, you OK, man?”

ANT (James): “Yo bro, wat up?”

Mondo looked at the large burn mark that had appeared across his chest. His uniform was singed and torn.

GILES (as tourist guide): “And on your left you can see the traditional scantially clad pretty boy.”

LEGOLAS: “Who isn’t nearly as pretty as me.”

Ditto was in his pokeball. “Geez, I never knew how powerful that blonde guy was. Without him, Jessie’s nothing!”

MYOTISMON: “You know, I quite like this fic. I win AND they call me powerful!”

“We need to get back to headquarters,” said Domino. “Where’s Giovanni?”

MYOTISMON (Rocket): “Went to the bathroom. The sight of Mondo half-naked made him sick.”

James nudged Domino and pointed to one of the food booths, where Giovanni was pigging out on fried cheese curds. He just couldn’t stop eating cheese no matter what.

ANT: “What, so even if he has to really, really go to the bathroom, he’d still be eating cheese? That’s disgusting.”

“I mean, he won against the RocketMen AND Butch and Cassidy! Jessie didn’t win.

MYOTISMON: “Well, at least Jessie did something. Gio didn’t get off his fat ass. I may be the leader of a criminal gang, at least I do my own fighting.”

She was just eye candy,” Domino continued. “What is Myotismon, a mega?”

MYOTISMON: “Actually, I’m an UltimateSuperUltraMegaWorldChampion Digimon.”

She took out her poke/digidex and looked up the information.

“Level: Champion,” said the poke/digidex’s voice.

“HE’S ONLY A CHAMPION?” asked James. “I could have sworn he was an ultimate!”

LEGOLAS: “He’s not too smart, good for him he’s has some prettiness.”

“He’s not,” said Domino. “He’s a champion with the power of an ultimate. It says so in the DigiDex2002, the most up-to-date guide in the world.”

GILES: “Well, according to my DigiDex 2003, Myotismon is just an arrogant bastard.”

(Myotismon and Legolas glare)

GILES: “Of course, I could be wrong.”

“I’ve let the masters down again,” said Demidevimon after he was locked up. “I didn’t know! Those pokemon aren’t as pathetic as I imagined them to be, you know!”

ANT: “Yeah, power to the Pokémon!”

“That’s right,” said Gatomon. “They aren’t.”

LEGOLAS: “Hey, where was she when the father of her children had to fight for his life, huh? She doesn’t care about him!”

Demidevimon stared at Gatomon’s widening stomach. Only two and a half weeks were left before the kittens arrived.

GILES: “Any bets to the ammount of gross details?”

ANT: “Ewrglh, that’s one chapter I really don’t want to read.”

“Have you been sneaking fish while you’re on your missions, Gatomon? You better lose that weight before THEY learn about it.”

MYOTISMON (Demidevimon): “Watch it Gatomon, or you’ll steal Giovanni’s ‘World Fattest Thing’ Award.”

“You caught me, furball-mon,” said Gatomon. “Yeah, I’ve been eating extra fish. They say Jhotoan fish build character.

GILES: “So do early-in-the-morning fishing trips with your father, but she’s not doing that.” (muttering) “Bloody bait, bloody hook getting stuck on everything but the fish.”

ANT: “I hear ya, buddy.”

And I do not mean those Magic Crap or whatever it’s called.

ANT: “She’s been eating Magic cards? Wow, I didn’t know eating those build character. Remind me to raid Dec’s collection later on.”

I mean REAL fish. Authentic fish.”

MYOTISMON (Gatomon): “Not the knock-off Mexican version.”

“OK, OK,” said Demidevimon, preparing himself for one of Gatomon’s ramblings about fish. “Do I look awful?”

LEGOLAS (Demidevimon): “It’s okay, you can tell, does this dress make me look fat?”

GILES (a la Al Bundy): “The fact that you’re fat, makes you look fat. That dress just makes you look hideous.”

LEGOLAS: “I’m not really fat! Am I fat, Myokins?”

MYOTISMON (pats him): “Of course you’re not fat, beloved, you look great.”

“If I told the truth you’d die from grief,” said Gatomon.

MYOTISMON: “Tell him, Gatomon, I won’t mind.”

“You remind me of someone with eyes like mine. You remind me of my paws. You look like someone’s gone over you with a very sharp rake.”

GILES (Gatoman): “Or a lawnmower, it’s hard to tell the difference.”

“Ow, that hurts,” said Demidevimon sarcastically.

“That’s it, I’m leaving,” said Gatomon, turning around. “If I hang out around you any longer my brain will melt.”

ANT: “My my, they’re just getting wittier by the chapter, aren’t they?”

GILES: “Well, after eleven chapters the ‘no brain’ jokes run out.”

ANT: “It’s far better to have lame jokes, than to never have any jokes at all.”

She went down the hall, her tail twitching. She ran and found herself looking right into the next room, and she couldn’t believe the sight that was before her eyes.

LEGOLAS: “It was an all you can eat fish buffet! For free!”

“I can’t believe it, master,” said Jessie. “You survived all that and me? I let you down.” She began to cry softly.

MYOTISMON: “She’s only human, she can’t help being a pathetic weakling.”

ANT: “You know, you and Vegeta would get on great, I bet.”

And then Gatomon saw a sight more surprising than anything:

GILES: “Jessie took of her skirt, and turned out to be a man!”

a sentimental moment. It made her do a double take, and possibly a spit take as well. Jessie was with Myotismon, and she laid her head against him. MM began to stroke his gloved fingers through her soft hair. It wasn’t a seduction thing.

ANT: “Right, maybe he’s destracting her and then move in for the kill!”

GILES: “Not in this author’s world.”

ANT: “I can hope, can’t I?”

Gatomon blinked. Jessie slid even closer, and then it looked as if she were any closer she’d be sitting on him. Then the two villains did something they had never done in their lives. Love. In love. Make love.

ANT: “Aargh! The mental pictures!”

LEGOLAS: “You wouldn’t do something like that to that human, would you Myokins?”

MYOTISMON: “Wouldn’t dream of it, beloved.”

“You are my first true love,” said Jessie in a soft voice as she laid her hand on MM’s.

GILES: “There’s dozens of boys out there, very dissapointed in Jessie right now.”

Gatomon pinched herself, for she might have been dreaming.

ANT: “Nightmare! The word is nightmare!”

Never in her life had she seen such emotion. Such profound love. Among villains. It almost made her cry. And she wasn’t dreaming, either.

LEGOLAS: “Then she might’ve woken up from this ghastly nightmare!”

“You have beautiful eyes,” said Myotismon.

Gatomon used all the willpower she had to not burst in there and curse with the worst swears imaginable. I mean, EYES! She had been scarred for having her eyes, and there was Jessie, being loved for her eyes?

GILES: “The author’s pretty big on the eye thing, I wonder why?”

ANT: “Maybe she was teased about her eyes and is suffering a traume?”

LEGOLAS: “An author works in mysterious ways. Let’s not bother with it for now.”

OMG, this was just awful for the others. Romance again.

ANT: “That’s nice, Gatomon pities us.”

That was when it became extremely sentimental, as Jessie and Myotismon stared into each other’s blue eyes, and then kissed again. This one was longer, and involved stuff that was more sensual (and dirtier, but I’m not changing the rating again to R or NC-17 here.)

ANT: “God be praised!”

GILES: “Best sentence in the entire fic!”

LEGOLAS: “Let there be much rejoicing!”

(All four toast with a glass of champagne.)

Gatomon watched every second of it, her eyes widening so wide they could have just popped right out of their sockets.

MYOTISMON: “Gatomon a pervert? Who’d have thought it!”

Her own master, doing it to a human. And she was an ex-Team Rocket member as well!

Refusing to stand there and watch these strange things happen, Gatomon ran to her quarters to confine herself from it all.

ANT: “First reasonable thing she did the entire fic!”

She stroked her round, white stomach, feeling one of the kittens move within her. Gatomon got the strange feeling that Jessie would suffer the same fate she did, only instead of kittens, there would be a cross between a human and a Ginjinka Digimon.

GILES: “Oh come on, what’re the odds of that happening? Not everyone can get pregnant from having sex once. There’re people out there who try for years!”

LEGOLAS: “Alas, for this is not reality, but an Author’s twisted fantasy in which anything can happen!”

Then Gatomon dashed to Demidevimon’s cell, where the pest was resting soundly. “Wake up!” she whispered. “PSSSSST!”

MYOTISMON: “Hmm, big letters and an exclamation mark. Didn’t know that counted as whispering.”

Demidevimon opened one eye. “What, am I free?”

GILES (Gatoman, a la Cptn Peacock): “Mr Demidevimon, are you free?”

LEGOLAS (Demidevimon, looks around): “I’m free!”

“No! I have something really interesting about a certain thing called romance.”

“What, are you in love? With me? I’m stayin’ a bachelor, baby!”

ANT: “Thank God again, if Demidevimon had gotten together with a Golbat, I’d have thrown myself out of the airlock!”

MYOTISMON: “Really? Interesting…”

“It’s not about me or you!”

“Listen, I know about that Bakemon and the Gengar. I swear that Gengar’s gonna get fixed tomorrow. That’s what I heard.”

GILES: “Yes, there has to be something wrong with a Gengar before it’ll consider a Bakemon.

ANT: “Why don’t they just take all the Digimon and Pokémon to the vet? It’d be much easier!”

MYOTISMON: “What, and ruin my plan of using the most powerful Digi- and Pokémon to breed the ultimate DigiPokemon?”

“No! Even better than that! I saw…” She whispered it to Demidevimon, whose eyes grew wider and wider at the image she put in his head. “Yeah! Isn’t that just great dirt we have on them?”

LEGOLAS: “Just because she’s in pain, doesn’t mean she had to spread it. I’m sure Demidevimon didn’t need a description.”

“You’re just making that up,” said Demidevimon. “I’m going to sleep.” He dozed off. Then he opened an eye. “You are one hell of a storyteller, y’know?” Then he started sleeping.

ANT: “Oh, that’s nice! Go ahead, praise her abilities, make her tell stories to more people who don’t want hear it!”

“Stupid little pest,” said Gatomon. “If you’re not gonna believe me then who will? Gaaah!”

GILES: “Put it on the internet, there’s people out there who’ll believe *anything*.

MYOTISMON: “Surely not?”

GILES: “Myo, there’re people out there who believe in Myotismon/Piedmon slash.”

MYOTISMON: “Wha…? Me…and Piedmon?”

GILES: “I’ve seen a website dedicated to it.”

ANT: “Great, now we all know how *you* spend your free-time.”

GILES: “It was an accident, I swear!”

ANT: “That’s what they all say.”

“There’s still the matter of James,” the cat digimon said the next morning. “Isn’t he truly in love with Jessie?” She felt a kitten move within her. “I wonder what’s going to happen to him?”

MYOTISMON: “Well, knowing me, it’ll probably be some horrible death.”

Meowth was still amazed that he could finally do Pay Day.

ANT: “As am I!”

He and James decided to celebrate by stealing a ton of food and catnip and then pigging out and all that stuff like that. It got late, so they decided to sleep.

GILES: “Er, last time Meowth pigged out on catnip with someone and slept with that person, that person got pregnant!”

ANT: “Eww, pregnant James!”

James was so tired, he forgot to unlock the door to his room. Meowth forgot to remind him. Mondo was already sound asleep.

ANT: “Aargh, stoned threesome!”

Meowth, tired from the catnip, fell asleep first. James took a longer time to fall asleep in his bed. In fact, he was actually wide awake, although too tired to change out of his uniform.

LEGOLAS: “That’s quite the contradiction she has there.”

MYOTISMON: “Like: ‘James was really hungry, but couldn’t be bothered to call for pizza.’”

He tried to sleep, but all he could do was keep his eyes closed. Finally, he was about to drift off before he was abruptly awakened.

First, his covers were yanked off. Then he saw Bakemon tying his hands together with a thick, scratchy rope.

GILES: “I don’t like where this is heading.”

ANT: “The Author hasn’t shown any liking for bondage though.”

GILES: “Well, until this chapter she hadn’t shown any liking for serious love between Myo and Jessie either!”

Then his feet were tied together. James turned his head around to see the Bakemon cackling as they flew around him.

MYOTISMON: “I hope for James it’s not the Gengar liking one, his hair has almost the same colour.”

“What are you and what the hell are you doing to me?” he shouted. “Let me out of here! MEOWTH! MONDO!”

ANT: “Hmm, money-throwing cat and pink blob owning moron. Not my idea of two heroes, but they might do.”

“Aw, shut up!” A Bakemon took a white cloth and covered his mouth with it,

MYOTISMON (Bakemon): “Your foul stench is so great, I must cover my mouth and nose.”

and they only heard grunts and saw struggling to get free.

GILES: “Sure they weren’t grunts of something else?”

LEGOLAS: “Let us not look for those things when they’re clearly not there.”

“I already have those two tied up.” He motioned towards Meowth and Mondo, who were tied together and bound up as tightly as James.

ANT: “And maybe not.”

“He’s a feisty little thing,” remarked another Bakemon,

MYOTISMON (Bakemon): “Just the way I like ‘em!”

taking another rope and tying him up so he couldn’t move. James just gave up. He threw a smoke ball, and James fell asleep.

GILES: “From that smoke, suffocated’s more like it.”

Then he awoke a few hours later and found himself in a steel prison cell in a sinister castle in the Digiworld.

LEGOLAS: “How does he know it’s a sinister castle, hmm? Has he seen the outside? No, he has only seen the prison. And how does he know it’s in Digiworld? There’s no proof.”

ANT: “Innocent until proven guilty, right?”

LEGOLAS: “Of course. And who says he’s imprisoned by my Myokins? It could’ve been

any evil tyrant.”

MYOTISMON: “If there were any other evil tyrants, beloved, I would’ve gotten rid of them long ago.”

GILES (To Ant): “Why is it that only blond-haired vampires get any action around here?”

ANT (To Giles): “Don’t ask me, at least you have women fighting over you.”

So were Mondo and Meowth, only they were in different cells. Meowth was in one with other scared Meowths. Mondo was in a cage.

ANT (singing): “Despite all his rage, he was still just a Mondo in a cage.”

“Where am I?” asked James.

“You’re in the Digiworld,” said the Bakemon who tied the cloth around his mouth. “Yes you are.

GILES: “Wow, he’s psychic, he answers questions that aren’t asked yet!”

In the castle with the portal. The master should be arriving any second.”

“Oh no,” said Mondo. “Who is he? Who are you? Why are we here?”

LEGOLAS (James): “Mondo, we’re trapped in a prison, this is not the time to get philosophical!”

Agumon, the one influenced by the dark rings, arrived on the scene. So did Pikachu.

“You’re the twerps’s Pikachu!” Meowth exclaimed. “We was gonna capture you,

ANT (Meowth a la Ali G): “Respec’!’”

but it looked like someone got to you first!”

“It was us,” said Jessie, entering the scene from a doorway.

GILES (Jessie): “Bow to us, we’re royalty!”

“I captured the twerps’ Pikachu. And an Agumon as well.”

MYOTISMON: “Hey, stop taking credit for that, you wench. I’m pretty sure *I*

did most of the work.”

Agumon and Pikachu nodded in agreement.

“Why have you captured us?” asked Mondo. “I have done nothing to you!”

LEGOLAS: “Nothing? Is this man not well? He has attacked my Myokins! He must pay!”

MYOTISMON: “That he will, beloved, that he will.”

LEGOLAS: “If he were *my* prisoner, I would hang him upside down above a great fire and roast him alive!”

MYOTISMON: “I like that idea. You’re creative when angry, beloved.”

ANT: “I thought you Elves were so supposed nice and stuff?”

LEGOLAS: “Not when they’re attacking my Myokins!” (Myotismon grins)

“Sweet revenge for defeating me, James,” said Jessie. “Now I have decided to lock you up forever!

GILES (Jessie): “Well, until you die, and then I shall lock up your spirit!”

HAHAHAHAHA!”

MYOTISMON: “I can’t believe my evil henchwoman has such a pitiful evil laugh.”

GILES: “It’s not that bad.”

MYOTISMON: “Not that bad? It’s worthless. An evil laugh should fear-inspiring! Are you scared?”

GILES: “Erm, not particularly, no.”

ANT: “I’m more scared of the real Jessie than this one.”

MYOTISMON: “Does she have an evil laugh?”

ANT: “She’s got an evil mallet.”

“Oh, Jessie!” James started to cry. “You against me… all because you mouthed off to Giovanni.”

Jessie blinked. “I don’t get what you’re trying to say. Why are you crying because we’re against each other?”

“Because…” James just couldn’t get it out. “Because I love you!”

LEGOLAS: “Poor James! Fight for her love, brave man!”

ANT: “You just want him to win her over ‘cause you’re jealous, right?”

LEGOLAS: “I just want to spread a little love, is that so wrong?”

“You… you love me?” asked Jessie, coming closer to the bars of the prison, then holding her hand out to touch James’s. They held hands for a short time. “I can’t believe I was such a jerk! Hitting you with all those mallets and paper fans and not realizing how much you cared for me.

GILES: “Then maybe he should’ve said something, instead of putting on dresses all the time.”

I swear, maybe once or twice I thought that underneath that bumbling exterior lies an evil heart of the best partner I ever had. And look at you. Promoted like that. To black.

ANT (Jessie): “Protecting the world from the scum of the universe.”

MYOTISMON: “Excuse me, I will not be referred to as ‘scum’. I’m an evil Digimon tyrant, not a pirate of some sort!”

I wish I could just release you like that.”

LEGOLAS (sniffing): “Aww, that’s so sweet!”

“And you, Jessie,” said James, staring into Jessie’s eyes. “I can’t believe it. Your team is successful. I can’t believe we were pitted against each other like that. We should be fighting together, not against each other. Please, Jessie. Come back to Team Rocket. We need you. I need you.”

LEGOLAS (starts bawling): “I just hate these impossible loves!” (starts sobbing on Myo’s shoulder)

MYOTISMON (To Legolas): “There, there, calm down.” (To the others) “Why doesn’t James just join me? I’d like to have a man-eating Victreebell on my team.”

“But I can’t leave Team Rocket Mon,” said Jessie.

“Why not?” asked Mondo. “You can leave at any time you want to!”

GILES: “Just like that Jenny person, should be easy as 1-2-3.”

“Is it because of your boyfriend?” asked Meowth.

ANT: “How does Meowth know?”

GILES: “Hmm, he knows Pay Day and he’s psychic. Amazing.”

Jessie blushed. “No,” she argued. “I just don’t want to leave, that’s all. Team Rocket Mon’s just the right place for me.” She let go of James’s gloved hands and stepped back.

LEGOLAS (Meowth): “Liar, liar, skirt on fire!”

GILES: “You really want her to die, don’t you?”

LEGOLAS: “She stole my Myokins. She must suffer as well!”

ANT: “But only five minutes ago you just wanted her and James to get together.”

LEGOLAS: “I don’t really care, she just has to stay away from my Myokins!”

“It’s your boyfriend,” said Meowth. “I know who he is.”

Jessie blushed as red as her hair. “No way, Meowth! Myotismon’s not my boyfriend,” she lied.

MYOTISMON (Hits forehead): “What have I done to deserve such a stupid henchwoman? She has just affirmed Meowth’s suspicions!”

“And he’s not the reason I’m staying in Team Rocket Mon.” That was an even bigger lie. She wanted to stay because of MM and wasn’t leaving. “I still care about you, James, but in a different way.”

LEGOLAS (Jessie): “I care about you like I care about my pets. I’ll feed you, walk you, and occassionally, clean out your cage.”

“Oooooh, Jessie’s got a boyfriend,” Demidevimon teased, flying into the cavernous room that held the cells.

GILES (Demidevimon): “Jessie and Myo sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!”

(Myotismon and Legolas glare)

GILES (Demidevimon): “There comes Legolas, with a knife, he kills Jessie and he and Myo are in paradise!”

ANT: “Nice safe.”

James noticed Mondo’s cell was over something different, like some sort of opening to a pit. “Well Jessie, sometime you gotta choose! The other two will be fed to the pit of flames that is underneath Mondo’s cage.”

LEGOLAS: “They stole my idea! *I* want to hang them over a flaming pit!”

“What?” Jessie looked confused.

“WHAAAAAAT?!” James and Mondo were afraid.

MYOTISMON: “’Whaaaat?!’ We are annoyed.”

“You must decide,” said Demidevimon.

ANT (Demidevimon): “You must choose, Jessie, choose between a quick internet

connection and a cheap one!”

GILES (Jessie): “I can’t choose! I want both!”

ANT (Demidevimon): “And now you can, with the new EvilPack from British Telecom! All you have to do, is sell your soul to BT!”

GILES (Jessie): “I can’t believe it’s so cheap!”

ANT (Demidevimon): “And for a limited time only, a free ‘You are doomed!’ mouse-pad!”

“I can’t,” said Jessie. “Not between them!”

LEGOLAS (Jessie): “Not between Toblerone and Milka! Alas, cruel world!”

ANT: “You’ve only been here a couple of weeks, and yet you know of chocolate?”

LEGOLAS: “It’s too good to be true!”

“I don’t like this, Jimmy boy,” said Meowth from his cell. “What if she doesn’t choose you?”

“Choose me, Jessie,” Mondo spoke up. “I mean, I’ve had the biggest crush on you for the longest time!

MYOTISMON (James): “I confessed sooner, you die!”

LEGOLAS (Mondo): “I have better Pokémon, you die!”

MYOTISMON (James): “I’m camper, you die!”

LEGOLAS (Mondo): “I’m not even known by most Pokémon fans, you die!”

GILES (Jessie): “Don’t fight, you can *both* die.”

LEGOLAS and MYO(Mondo/James): “Yay!” (short pause) “Wait a minute…”

I’ve saved you countless times whenever you and James screwed up. Well, it was mostly James.”

“HEY!” James complained.

GILES: “Well, Mondo has a point, unfortunately.”

“It’s the truth. Live with it,” Mondo said through clenched teeth. “Anyway, I’m handsome, I was the most popular kid in school,

ANT: “Handsome, popular. Kill him, Jessie! You owe it to all the kids he bullied in school!”

and I even demoted myself to the lowest rank possible so I could rescue you! I always wanted to work alongside you, but I never got the chance.

LEGOLAS: “Gee, I wonder why? Maybe because you demoted youself to the lowest rank?”

James is so lucky. Anyway, you don’t have to choose me.” A tear trickled down his cheek. “I’ve always wanted to be with you but I never had the chance.”

Jessie’s heart softened, and she started to cry herself.

MYOTISMON: “I don’t need crybabies on my team! She’s fired!”

“And me, Jessie,” said James. “You don’t have to choose me either.

GILES: “Look at that, they both want to die.”

MYOTISMON: “Cool! Two people to throw into the fire. Hmm, who to go first?”

You’ve been with me the longest, and I’m just a damn screwup you probably won’t want. I mean, I always thought about what’s good for myself.

ANT: “Don’t worry James, everyone’s a big selfish bastard.”

I wanted to work with you just for myself. I never had enough courage to ask you out because we were just fighting about stupid things and I didn’t think you liked me.

GILES (James): “Plus, we never had any money.”

MYOTISMON (James): “And we were already out all the time anyway.”

ANT (James): “And it’s hard to ask someone out when you’re flying through the air.”

LEGOLAS (James): “And Myotismon is far more handsome than I am. You don’t deserve someone as good as Myokins! He’s mine, all mine!”

GILES: “Er, the plan was to all say something James would say…”

ANT: “Well, hitting on Myotismon is something James could do…”

LEGOLAS: “What? Another rival for my Myokins’ love? He shall die!”

GILES (To Ant): “And we were wondering why Elves get bad press sometimes.”

Now I don’t care if I live, I just want you to know you love me.”

MYOTISMON (James): “I’m sorry I didn’t you tell you loved me before, Jessie, but I was too busy being a selfish bastard to tell you.”

Jessie started producing tears,

GILES: “The Jessie factory! Producer of authetic er, help me out here, guys?”

ANT: “The authentic Animé sweatdrop! Yes, with this sweatdrop made in our finest Jessie factories through out Europe, you too can look like an animé star!”

MYOTISMON: “Instant Good Looks and Cool Hair Style/Colours not included.

and she walked over to James’s cell and gripped both of his hands.

LEGOLAS (Jessie): “Haha, I have your hands, and I’ll never let go! You’ll be held by me until I die!”

ANT (Jessie): “Or have to go to the bathroom, ‘cause I ain’t peeing in front of you guys.”

“Aw, how sentimental,” remarked Demidevimon. “I believe you’re forgetting one of the villains here!”

GILES (Demidevimon): “And he *really* doesn’t want to be here!

“And how could I forget Meowth?” said Jessie. “Keep strong, Meowth. Keep strong.”

ANT: “Why should he worry? He’s not about to get thrown into a flame pit, is he?”

LEGOLAS: “Well, Myokins could probably go for some dessert, right?”

MYOTISMON: “Considering how skinny those two are, I know I could.”

“Uh, hello?” Demidevimon flew around her head. “The one reason you’re staying in Team Rocket Mon? Are you an amnesiac or something? It’s Myotismon! He’s here!”

MYOTISMON: “I am? Where am I then? Where’s my threatening appearance and dialogue?”

A cloud of bats flew out at Jessie and the others, and MM appeared in the room with the cells.

ANT: “Otherwise knows as ‘prison’.”

GILES: “Or ‘dungeon’.”

“I could never forget you!” Jessie ran over to him and started whispering emotional things.

James’s eyes narrowed. “No boyfriend? HA! And I’m the Queen of England.”

ANT: “James could never be Queen of England!”

LEGOLAS: “Yeah, he’s far too pretty for one thing.”

ANT: “Well, I was going to say ‘far too male’, but you’re right.”

GILES: “And I’m not sure about the ‘far too male’ thing either.”

MYOTISMON: “As far as I know, that James person is definitily Queen of something.”

“Something tells me I’ll be fed to the pit,” said Mondo, looking at the thing under his cage.

ANT: “Otherwise known as ‘fire’.”

GILES: “And ‘Gruesome death’.”

Jessie backed away and stood in the middle of the three, looking from one male villain to another. “I have no idea who to choose!”

LEGOLAS: “No! They can’t die, they love her! No! (starts bawling again) I wanna know what happens!”

GILES: “Well, there’s a first, someone who actually wants to stay for the next chapter.”

OK, because I cannot decide whether to make this a Jessie/James, Jessie/Mondo, or Jessie/Myo (I think this could be the first Jessie/Myotismon!) I am deciding to let my friends from school and the people on the bus to decide which couple is the best, and I am casting a vote for Jessie/Mondo because, though I am J/MM oriented, it might be a cool couple to do.

ANT: “I vote Jessie/Nobody, not because I want her to miserable, but because I don’t want more ‘romance’.”

GILES: “I’ll go for the reality. I vote Jessie/James.”

MYOTISMON: “I don’t want her to end up with me, so I vote Jessie/Mondo.”

LEGOLAS: “I vote ‘Legolas is going to kill the Authoress’, because she dared to suggest *my* Myokins with another!”

ANT: “How’re you going to find out who else voted Jessie/Myo then?”

LEGOLAS: “Cut open her stomach and read her entrails.”

ANT (To Giles): “I think loving Myo makes him less camp and more an evil psycho.”

GILES (To Ant): “And I think I’ll never question Terry Pratchett ever again.”

Draco’s note: Remember Lords and Ladies?