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Title: A Fairly Average Pokemon Fanfic
Author: Kojiro
(http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=Directory-AuthorProfile&UserID=19476)
A Fairly Average Pokémon Fanfic
By Blue
Disclaimer: Not
mine, not mine, not mine! It’s all Nintendo’s, Game Freak’s, and a million other
bits.
Overview: During a day at the beach, Satoshi-tachi turn evil, and try
to steal Nyase. It should be a comedy, if my stuffy British humour will
allow.
This is my first fanfic, so don’t expect much! I’m English, so when it
comes to it, I’m going to use English spellings. Deal with it, that’s how the
spell checker operates. However, I’m using Japanese names. No suffixes, I’m
afraid, I can’t do them and I’m not going to try, I’d only look like an idiot.
Oh, and I didn’t know Nurse Joy’s Japanese name, so I left it as Joy. Ahem.
@^_^@
If you like, hate, want more, want less, whatever, email me at
dittoblue30@yahoo.co.uk
Three figures are standing on one of Seafoam
island’s many exotic beaches. White sand and blue seas surround them. Anybody
else would be in complete luxury, but not these three.
"Nyase wants a Double
Chocolate Magnum!" screeched a high-pitched voice, piecing the perfect
silence.
"Argh! We’re not here for ice cream!" snapped a female voice. There
was a thwack, almost like the sound of a paper fan hitting somebody
sharply.
"Actually, ice cream sounds quite good. We were pedalling that
submarine for hours!" This was a third voice, whining more than the last two.
There was the noise again, followed by a squeal of "Oww! That hurt!"
"At
least it wasn’t da bazooka." retorted the first voice.
Musashi was thoroughly
fed up. Kojiro was right, they had been pedalling for some time. It took them
another half-hour to hide the damn awkward thing. It’s hard enough to conceal
something that big, never mind the fact that it was Gyrados shaped.
"Can’t
we relax for a while? Pleeease?" wheedled Kojiro. All he wanted was a nice long
rest. After several failed attempts to catch Pikachu, he was feeling a bit
depressed, as anybody would who had lost repeatedly to a ten year old dumbass
with a statically-charged rat and a lot of blind luck. Musashi softened.
"OK. For a while. But we have to remember why we’re here, so keep your eyes
peeled for that twerp. I need to top up my tan anyway." She whipped off her
uniform to reveal a black bikini underneath. Kojiro did the same.
"Ahh!
Nyase doesn’t wanna see dis!" the cat Pokémon wailed. "No cross-dressing
today!"
"Spoilsport. Can I keep the sarong?" asked
Kojiro.
"NO!"
Musashi rolled her eyes at her two colleagues. She really
did wonder about that boy. Nice legs, though. If he had a good black dress, the
drape could be sorted out to really flatter his figure. She coughed abruptly,
shook herself, and pulled out three towels from the bulky beach bag. She also
found, to her disgust, a red plastic bucket and a similar spade. Sighing, she
tossed them aside, and began to lay out their towels on the
beach.
=^0^=
Meanwhile, Satoshi and company were wandering
aimlessly towards the beach.
"I wonder where Team Rocket are?" mused Kasumi.
"They’ve usually interfered by now."
Satoshi laughed. "Maybe they’ve given
up! They know they can’t separate Pikachu and me! Hah hah!"
"Pika chu pika…"
Pikachu replied (Translation: I hope they do, before I pull Satoshi’s head
off...). He leapt up onto his shoulders, thought better of it, and continued to
walk alongside Takeshi.
"I’ve been thinking about that. What would happen if
we decided to strike first?" said Takeshi. "A pre-emptive strike?" asked Kasumi.
"A what? Is that a new type of Pokémon attack?" Satoshi asked eagerly. Pikachu
cursed under his breath. It had been a long year since Satoshi had taken him,
and it showed no signs of getting any better. Kasumi blanked Satoshi completely.
"What for? They have nothing we want. Except that cute little sparkly number
Kojiro has."
"Not that. What about their Nyase? I bet a Pokémon researcher
would pay a bundle to study a talking Pokemon." suggested Takeshi.
"I think
Kojiro and Musashi would pay us to take it."
"How about we try it, then? I’ve
always wanted to be evil." Takeshi grinned unpleasantly. Kasumi replied with a
similar grin. "Hey, and if we get caught, we can pin the blame on Satoshi. Say
he was the mastermind behind it all." They both looked at Satoshi, who was
looking into the middle distance, practising his `I caught a Pokémon!` poses. He
was muttering Pokémon names under his breath, a familiar vacant expression on
his face.
"Sounds like a plan!" Takeshi agreed. Pikachu nodded happily.
"Chu!"
=^0^=
Musashi finished off her ice cream. As she licked
the stick clean of any chocolate remains, she watched Nyase and Kojiro playing
in the sand with the tiny bucket and spade. She pushed her glasses onto the top
of her head and settled down to watch. They were engaged in a death-match for
the spade. "I want it! I want to dig for Shelders!" yelled Kojiro. "No way! I
wanna make a sand-castle!" screamed Nyase, snatching the spade and
scratch-attacking his opponent. "Hey!" said Kojiro, patting the red scratches on
his face. "Weezing, go! Sludge attack him!"
"Wee-zing!" wheezed the poison
Pokémon.
"Calling on your toxic balloon to help you? No way! Dat spade is
mine!" Nyase dodged a sludge attack with relative ease, and aimed a scratch at
one of Weezing’s faces.
Musashi sighed as the battle raged on. One colleague,
old enough to know better, wanted a small plastic spade that had the capacity of
a dessert spoon and the digging power of a dead Tentacool. The other colleague
wanted to make sand-castles. No doubt ones with moats. She pushed her sunglasses
back onto her nose and snuggled down further into her beach towel, looking up at
the sky, deep in thought. A distinctive yowling told her that one or the other
had successfully dug a hole with the spade and buried the other one in it.
Watching Nyase walking past her, a triumphant grin on his face, holding the
plastic digger aloft, she decided she probably had to go and dig Kojiro out. She
got to her feet slowly, annoyed that her peace had been ruined.
"Nyase, do
you remember where you buried him?"
"Uhh…"
=^0^=
Satoshi-tachi
were crouched behind a sand bank, watching our heroes. "Funny how we could find
them so fast." murmured Takeshi under his breath.
"The bad guys always can.
Artistic license, isn’t it?" whispered Kasumi. "Let’s get to it."
The
terrible trio leapt out from behind the bank to face Team Rocket, posing
furiously.
"We’re here for your Nyase!" yelled Satoshi. "and you can’t stop
us, because we have the ultimate weapon!"
Musashi got to her feet. She and
Nyase had been crouched in front of a hole in the sand. She turned to them. For
her credit, she didn’t laugh out loud at their poses and fake menacing manner.
She kept a straight face, but barely. "What’s that? One of your three Pokémon?"
she asked dryly.
"Yeah, a turtle, a tulip bulb and a rat." sneered Nyase.
Kojiro would have used a snide comeback too, if he wasn’t busy climbing out of
the hole and spitting out sand.
"What’s wrong with my-" began Satoshi
indignantly.
"We have Satoshi’s blind luck on our side! Now hand over the
Nyase, twerp, before we get nasty!" interrupted Kasumi. She added a small "Grr"
on the end, for effect.
"WE never growl!" spluttered Kojiro. Nyase looked
around worriedly.
"Nyase? Why me?"
Kojiro, half in, half out of the
hole, began to consider the prospect of growling. He couldn’t recall it being in
any Team Rocket booklets. "Grr?" he offered meekly.
"Forget that!" snarled
Musashi, striking a pose of her own. "We want that Pikachu!"
"Pika! Pika!"
cheered Pikachu (translation: Take me! Please!).
"We’re not getting anywhere
here!" interjected Kasumi. She looked round to Takeshi, who was being
uncharacteristically quiet. "Uhh…" he mumbled, staring at Musashi in her slinky
black bikini. He was drooling slightly, she noticed. "AH-hem!" she coughed
loudly. "Uhh, yeah, we’re here for your bi- err, Nyase. Umm. My, you look g-good
today, M-Musashi…" Takeshi said, in a hypnotic trance. Kasumi sighed. She’d have
to take over.
"How about a volleyball match? You win, you get Pikachu. We
win, we get Nyase." She pulled a pose she had seen Musashi use last week.
Satoshi nudged Takeshi until he posed too.
"Sounds good." Said Kojiro, now
free of the hole and most of the sand, and posing alongside his team mates.
Satoshi-tachi posed at a quicker pace.
Nyase and Pikachu watched the
maddening posing battle. "Sure, it’s all posing fun until somebody pulls a
muscle."
=^0^=
A small crowd was gathering at the centre of the
beach, where a volleyball net had been set up. An bikini-clad Officer Junsa
arrived at the scene to disperse the crowd, as did a similarly outfitted Nurse
Joy. At one side of the net was Musashi, Kojiro and Nyase. At the other side was
Satoshi, Takeshi, Kasumi and Pikachu. The net had finally been hoisted onto the
poles by Kasumi after a few attempts by Satoshi and Kojiro had resulted in a
tangled mess of net, sand and Kojiro.
"We need a forth person to make things
even." said Musashi. At that moment, Officer Junsa burst through the crowd.
"What’s going on here? Do you have a permit for beach sports?" she
demanded.
"How perfectly convenient." sniggered Kojiro. Musashi grabbed her
arm and pulled her into the team. "How would you like to participate in the game
of the century?" Musashi asked, leading her away.
"No fair! Pikachu can’t
play! He barely has arms!" screamed Kasumi. She received a fierce electric shock
her trouble, and Pikachu stomped off to the side of the net, stubby arms folded
in defiance. "Now we need a fourth!" whined Satoshi to Takeshi, who, when he had
finally recovered from the appearance of Junsa in a bikini, spotted Nurse Joy.
Dashing up, Takeshi eagerly recruited her to Team Pikachu.
The game was now
set. Pikachu and Takeshi’s Vulpix watched from the sidelines. "First to five
points! Team Pikachu versus Team Nyase! Let’s make this quick, people!" yelled
Junsa. Vulpix blew Junsa’s whistle, and the game began.
The first and second
points went to Team Pikachu, as a spike by Joy sailed the ball into the centre
of the court. Both Musashi and Kojiro screamed "I got it! I got it!" and failed
to get it as each thought the other had it. This happened twice before they got
the hang of it.
A vicious return by Nyase gained a point for his team, as
Takeshi was momentarily distracted by Junsa jumping up and down for the ball.
Kasumi gained the next point for Team Pikachu by rebounding the ball off
Junsa’s head.
Taking revenge, Junsa did the same to Kasumi, gaining Team
Nyase’s second point.
A third followed as Kojiro slammed the ball to the
ground before Satoshi could reach it.
An excellent serve by Kasumi took Team
Pikachu one point away from victory. This was quickly equalised by Nyase, who
served to Satoshi. Satoshi fumbled clumsily with the ball, and dropped it.
Now the score was four all. A sudden-death round, Team Nyase to serve.
Musashi took it, grinning evilly. She was known at Pokemon Tech for her power
serves.
From the side, Vulpix watched. Its eyes flickered from
-Musashi,
still grinning as she pulled back her arm, and brought it crashing forward
towards the ball
-to Kojiro, sweatdropping, trying to make himself as small
as possible to avoid the famed power serve
-to Nyase, willing the ball over
the net and onto the ground to spare his skin. And internal organs, and bones,
too. You never know with scientists.
-to Officer Junsa, watching the ball’s
path over the net with wide eyes
-to Nurse Joy, wishing desperately that she
hadn’t agreed to help the drooling Takeshi
-to Kasumi, who had already
guessed the outcome of this serve, and had edged out of the way
-to Takeshi,
who hadn’t even noticed that Musashi was serving, but had noticed the delightful
way in which she was moving
-to Satoshi, Musashi’s target.
Vulpix watched
the ball bounce painfully onto his head, sending him reeling backwards onto
Takeshi, Joy and Kasumi, who hadn’t been quick enough. Vulpix shrugged
non-commitidly and went to sleep.
Musashi and Kojiro did a long victory
dance, Kojiro even breaking into a chorus of `Lucky Lucky.`
Kasumi growled
again. She pointed at Nyase, who was still dancing around in circles.
"I
don’t care if you won!" she yelled. "We’re taking that Nyase! Pikachu,
thundershock!" Pikachu shrugged, a difficult thing for a creature with no
shoulders, and prepared to thundershock as Team Pikachu advanced menacingly.
Thinking quickly, Kojiro pulled back the volleyball net and held it, the tension
in the taut strings increasing. "By-ee!" he giggled, letting go and allowing the
net to snap back. Team Pikachu realised at that moment that they were standing
to close to the-
"Looks like Satoshi-tachi’s blasting off again!"
Ping.
Kojiro beamed with pride at his strategy. Beside him, Musashi seethed.
"You do realise that you just blasted off our prize Pikachu, don’t you?"
growled Musashi.
"Ah. Oh. Umm…" Kojiro prepared himself for an imminent blow
to the head. He found himself vaguely wondering whether it would be the fan or
the mallet this time. He internally bet on the mallet.
He was
right.
=^0^=
That’s it, then. It’s as average as the title
suggests, but I think I’ll improve as time goes on. Or at least, I hope so. Like
the Nyase smileys inbetween the paragraphs?
The email again, because I get
few important emails, and I want comments! dittoblue30@yahoo.co.uk
I’m
stopping now, with a little quote from MST3K:
Prince of Space: Ha ha
ha!
Krankor: And now I’m going to kill you!
Servo:(as P of S) Ha ha!
-oh.
=^0^=
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