*gasps for air* Gah, finally! Sorry, it seems like I’ve been abandoning this project recently, but I haven’t. I just got really down about it, cause I half finished a PPG MSTing then LOST IT ALL. Dammit! But, having recently managed to see an old ep of MST3K, one of the ones they don’t have on repeat over here in the UK, I’ve been heartned. Cheers to Mike for that, him and his tape-bringing back ways… he also helped me a lot in this fic, I got stuck a few times. Anyway. Koji’s back, hopefully, so enjoy this here fic! If you haven’t been there yet, get thee to the MST3K ½ webpage… http://www.geocities.com/dittoblue30/mst.html. It’s also got a few fanfics of MST3K ½ that people have done… yeee, fanfics of my fanfic! And some just-plain-good-things by Cyberwulf, and the randomest random stuff by Mike and Loder.
And check out my online comic while you’re there. Randomiser is my other little project…
And yes, I know I swore I’d add no more new characters. Dammit… well, I’m getting rid of a few, at least. Anyway, have a good fic…
Disclaimer: you name it, it’s not mine.
*begin funky waah-waah guitar*
In the not-too distant future,
Somewhere in time and space,
A random group of people are caught in an endless chase,
Pursued by a doctor, who's name is Evil,
A frickin' weird bloke who wants to rule the world,
He collected some weird fics, and some even worse,
And with his mini clone he hunts them all across the universe!
(Dr Evil: `Come, Mr Bigglesworth!` Mini-Me: `Eeeeee!`)
Dr Evil: "I'll send them freakish fanfic,
The weirdest I can find,
(Mini-Me: `La-la-la!`)
They'll have to sit and read them all,
Until the world is mine!"
(Mini-Me: `La-la-la!`)
Now keep in mind they can't control where the fanfics begin or end,
They'll have to keep their sanity with the help of their loyal friends.
Reviewer role-call!
Ant! "Jessie, sweetie!"
James! "I’m not camp, darling, just happy."
Vegeta! "Can’t I go home yet?"
Wa-a-a-a-ashu! "That’s LITTLE Washu to you."
The weird bits are innumerable, please try not to barf,
Just repeat to yourself, `it's only a fic`, turn off your brain and laugh,
For Mystery Surreal Theatre 3000 ½!
*end funky waah-waah guitar, and the fic begins. ~_^*
“Hmm.` said Dec, contemplating, “Does anyone else feel like we’ve been… I dunno, out of action, for a while?”
Ant shrugged. `Yeah… it’s like the author forgot us for a while…”
Aoi tapped him on the shoulder, and said, in a sugary sweet tone that makes my teeth ache from here… “Or maybe, she has a life! Not much of one, mind, but still…”
There was a snort from the corner. “Not bloody likely.” mumbled Spike. Aoi threw a golf shoe at him.
“Gah, can’t we stop breaking the fourth wall with a steamroller for a while? Dr Evil’s calling us…” said Cat, flicking on the monitor after the chirpy-beep-beep noise.
“Hello, crew… I don’t have long to explain, since Mini Me needs feeding, and the author wants this finished in a hurry.” Dr Evil paused, looked sinisterly to his left, then continued. “Mr Giovanni says that two of you can go, he doesn’t care which. The two leaving are to be at the main door in two minutes. And another new crew member will replace them. That is all.” The screen flashed off. Cat grinned blankly. The rest of the crew had frozen, except for Spike and Vegeta, who were running like hell to the doorway.
“Bear in mind that I have no moral problems with killing anyone tries to get there before us.” smirked Vegeta.
“See you in hell.. wait, I’m pratically immortal! Bye, bastards.” Spike grabbed the Playstation on his way past.
The crew remained frozen. Cat was still grinning, probably a reflex that comes with being a TV presenter.
Chirpy-beep-beep…
“I almost forgot- due to popular demand, Vegeta and Spike have to stay. Mini Me, you’re supposed to put the important notes in PINK.”
“Eeee!”
Flick…
The crew unfroze, staring slowly at Spike and Vegeta.
“…shut up.” mumbled the vampire, replacing the Playstation, slumping on the sofa and lighting up a cigarette.
“Well, you know what I think?” said Dec, rising to his feet.
“Sceaming thoughts about getting shot of this place?”
“Shut up, Ant, other than that…”
“Is it about naked birds?”
“For once, no.” Dec looked into the middle distance, hair ruffling in the wind. “I think Aoi and Scott should go. After all, they seem to be the only ones who’ve got anything decent in their future. And they are the youngest. And the author is sorta sick of writing them. And they always get left out of the fanfics of fanfics.Whaddya say, guys?” he punced the air. “Are you with me??”
Scott stood bolt upright. “I sure as hell am!” Grabbing Aoi by the wrist, he ran out the door.
“See you, guys! We’ll do what we can to free you…”
Meowth snorted. “Dat was their tearful g’bye?”
Dec sat back down, wiping away a tear. “Ah, young love…”
“You’re a twat.” stated Spike, knocking some ash into Dec’s hair.
A chirpy-beep-beep noise later, and Cat was talking to Dr Evil again.
“Of the fricking people… here’s your new crew member. And a Harry Potter fanfic. Sayonara!”
Cat blinked. “Sayo-“
“Nara!” said the greatest scientific genius in the universe, landing neatly on the sofa.
“Washu? From Tenchi?” said Vegeta, staring in disbelief at the completely unwrecked sofa.
“The one and only! To the theatre, I want to go mock things!” grinned Washu.
“How did she…” began Meowth.
“It’s Washu, Try not to think about it.” said Vegeta, following her to the theatre, dragging Ant and Spike along with him.
***Washu hops in, followed by Vegeta, who lets go of the still partially frozen James, who lets go of Ant, who James clung onto for help.***
---------------------Story Begins---------------------
VEGETA: … and so does the torture…
ANT: You telling me you don’t like Harry Potter?
WASHU: That’s not possible.
JAMES: *whining* Don’t insult Harry Potter, he’s my hero…
VEGETA: Tsch. Silly weaklings… though I never would insult Harry Potter… but it’s not as if I’m scared of the forbidden curses, or anything…
WASHU: *spooky hand movements* Advadra Kadavra!
VEGETA: EYAH!
WASHU: Heh-heh-heh!
VEGETA: Watch what you’re doing with that, women!
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related charaters belong to JKRowling.
WASHU: The spelling! The grammar! My brain!
This story, however, is my intellectual property and may not be copied or redistributed in any way, shape, or form.
JAMES: Anyone told Dr. Evil that?
ANT: I don’t think he’d really care.
JAMES: But he’s violating that person’s trust!
ANT: Yeah, it’d be much better for humanity if he went back to blowing up the world…
Happy readings!
VEGETA: And a happy new year!
**All but Washu start to sing Auld Langsayne**
WASHU: You people are a bit strange in the head, aren’t you?
?????????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????????
ANT: Ah, the fic questions you. Why are you here? Do you have nothing better to do? How’d you get out of the Mana fortress without being killed by those damn Heck Hounds?
JAMES: I know I have nothing for it to
question me about… *coughs quickly*
Ginny's Discovery
ANT: … in her nose.
VEGETA: Augh! That was uncalled for!
WASHU: And immature!
JAMES: Heheehee… in her nose…
A young girl, young woman really,
WASHU: But a young man, biologically…
with curly red hair that cascaded down to her shoulders
JAMES: ..and continued til Nebraska…
sighed impressively.
ALL: *hold up score cards*
ANT: I’d give it a 7.5. It was a good sigh, but its follow-through was poor.
VEGETA: What a sigh! I’m in love!
OTHERS: *blink*
VEGETA: What? It was a joke! What?
She sighed as she entered Hogwarts, she sighed as they sat her down at the thrid years' table. She sighed as the Sirting Hat sang it's song,
WASHU: *yelps*
JAMES: Eee! Are you OK, Miss Washu?
WASHU: The grammar… it burns!
VEGETA: Tsch, like you could do better, women.
WASHU: Actually, I could! *leaps to her feet, stood on her chair* For I am the greatest genius in the universe! *two little Washu puppets appear on her shoulders*
PUPPET #1: You’re the best, Washu!
PUPPET #2: No-one could surpass your brain or beauty!
WASHU: That’s right! My grammar surpasses all!
ANT: …shoot me? Please?
and she sighed as the first-years were sorted
VEGETA: Into paper or plastic recycling bins.
amongst Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin.
Then she looked at Harry Potter. Then she
sighed one more time.
He NEVER notices me!' she thought, sadly,
WASHU: (as Ginny) Maybe it’s because I never open my speech with a quote mark.
JAMES: And in a desperate attempt to get Harry to notice her, Ginny took to dancing around in circles making duck noises.
ANT: Gotta admit, it’s the sorta thing I’d notice…
VEGETA: She should just sigh again. You have to admit, it was impressive.
'He saved me one time, but only becasue he is so nice. If I had been Draco Malfoy he STILL would have saved me, just because he's so kind and brave. Brave. He's so, very brave.
JAMES: So is he at all brave?
ANT: I’m getting the feeling that he may be brave.
VEGETA: Reckon he might be brave?
WASHU: Doubt it.
He's faced You-Know-Who, scratch that, Voldemort three times now. I can think the name Voldemort, right? I could yell the name, and I DON'T bloody think he'll come running because of it.
VEGETA: That could be a fun thing to try…
ANT: NO! We don’t need another insane evil genius around here, thank you. We have… *counts on fingers* Three, at least.
WASHU: Wouldn’t be so bad if Tom Riddle appeared, though…
ANT: I thought you weren’t interested in men, little Washu?
WASHU: Tom Riddle’s different…
Harry IS brave. He has a murderous,
WASHU: Misunderstood!
bloodthirsy,
WASHU: Confused!
manical,
WASHU: Just after a little attention!
powerful,
WASHU: P- no, that one’s right…
evil,
WASHU: Alternative!
revenge-wishing wizard after him, and he just shring it off like it happens every day. Oh, wait, that's right, for Harry, that DOES seem to happen every day, doesn't it?
VEGETA: Five times per lifespan doesn’t really constitute `daily`…
JAMES: Picky.
I hope we'll be safe here at Hogwarts. If
Voldemort was somehow able to sneak into Hogwarts, I do not know what I'd do.
I-'
She was cut off from her thoughts
VEGETA: …and from her neck..
as her brother Fred shook her shoulder,
saying, "C'mon Ginny! We have to report to Gryffindor Tower after feasts,
remember?
Ginny sighed, stood up, pushed in her chair, and walked slowly to the
Gryffindor Common Room.
WASHU: If I was in a castle infested with ghosts and generally bad things, and there was an evil dark wizard after my friend, I’d probably walk a little quicker.
VEGETA: *cough*WUSS*cough*
One of the Gryffindor Prefects explained about rules and passwords and then old them the lastest Gryffindor password. ((Golden Fish Tart))
ANT: Who the heck thinks those things up?
JAMES: Maybe Dumbledore was on the old… *drinking motions*
ANT: Heh, no way Dumbledore would get blasted on the job…
VEGETA: He could get stoned, though. There has to be some hash in the potions cupboard.
ANT: *as stoned Dumbledore* Dude! That bird’s, like, on fire, man!
Ginny didn't want to participate in the festivites taking place in the Common Room, and so went up to the part of the tower holding the Girls' Dormitories. She sat on her bed, thinking.
WASHU: (as Ginny, thinking) Maybe I should remove the brick from under my back… hmm…
Finally, Ginny fell asleep after the other girls' came in.
She woke up in the middle of the night, around midnight,
VEGETA: Indeed, the middle of the night would be midnight.
JAMES: I’d like to see her get up in the middle of the night, around 9.25 am…
and got up. She quietly creeped out of the dorm and down the stairs. In the adrenaline pumped moment,
WASHU: …She won the ladies 500m sprint for Gryffindor!
she almost forgot to skip the ninth stair, but she caught herself. The Fat Lady was sleeping,
so Ginny had to wake her up first, and then said the password. "Sneaking out already? It's only the first day, dear." the Fat Lady yawned, but then swung the portrait open. Ginny climbed out and snuck down the hallway. She heard a banging sound
VEGETA: *covering eyes* Eeeeh! Lemurs!
JAMES: Le-
WASHU: Shh, don’t ask, just laugh.
VEGETA: Their power levels are too high! *dissolves into sobs*
and worried that it was Mr. Filtch or Ms. Norris, but it was only Peeves. She clambered away and toward Miss Trelawney's room. Instead of going inside the classroom, however, she climbed out a window onto a stone balcony sort of place.
ANT: *as Lloyd Grossman* It’s a stone balcony sort of place, with a chic little curtain and a dashing marine feel… who’d sit on a balcony like this? David, it’s over to you…
Ginny cleared away some of the many vines
that were encasing the stone. She sat down on the edge of the castle's wall,
and let her feet dangle.
ANT: (as Ginny) Poo. Dropped one again.
VEGETA: (as Ginny) It’ll take weeks to grow that foot back…
he sighed and looked out toward the Forbidden Forest.
WASHU: *blinking* Ginny’s a guy? What did I miss here?
JAMES: Now it all makes sense! Ginny, or Gerald, has a homosexual attraction to Harry, but he thinks he’ll never understand his love… how sweet!
VEGETA: Trust you to get that one…
JAMES: *pouting, flicking wrist* Whatever do you mean?
Ginny rubbed her eyes. "What-?" she squinted and looked again.
ANT: (as Ginny) Poo. Since when was I a girl again?
She could have sworn that she saw some green light out there. She ignored it, thinking it was just a Unicorn of other Creature that was up to mischief.
JAMES: Damn unicorns, always playing with those green Action Man torches.
VEGETA: It’s a bastard when they get the little action jeeps, you know.
JAMES: Yeah, or Dr X with his acid shooter. Silly unicorns! *he and Vegeta laugh oddly together*
She did, however, jump up when a cloud of purple mist rose out of the forest and qucikly enveloped the castle. Ginny whipped out her wand and created
ANT: … a delightful entree of prawn volovaunts, a fresh green salad and a strawberry meringue dessert!
WASHU: What the hell was that?
ANT: I really have no clue.
JAMES: Possessed by the vengeful spirit of Martha Stewart… what a way to go.
and invisible wall between herself and the mist. She could hear Peeves yelling something, and Filtch, as well. She soon could hear her fellow students running up and down hallways, and teachers yelling for everyone to go to the Great Hall. Ginny wanted badly to hop back into the castle,
WASHU: …however, she fell off a ladder and severely injured herself, but Claims Direct came to her aid, and she sued Hogwarts for £50, 000…
but the mist was right on her, and if she dropped her barrier now, it would surely get her, whatever it was. She sank to her knees and held her wand out as her hands shook violently.
JAMES: (as left hand) That’s a violent shake you got there…
VEGETA: (as right hand) Why thank you, I have been working out recently…
It was getting harder and harder to hold
off the purple mist.
ANT: The green mist, however, was wussy, and that was nooo problem.
he glanced desprately out the window behind her hoping somebody, anybody, was
out there to help her.
WASHU: Hell, Ginny’s gender changing like Ranma!
VEGETA: She uses Japanese grammar like him, too!
ANT: Someone must be there with a cold tap and a kettle, just laughing…
She saw another girl run by.
JAMES: Ah, but WAS it a girl, or some form of boy-girl-ginny-type hybred? *taps nose knowingly*
ANT: ..it was a girl.
JAMES: *deflated* Oh.
Ginny, yelled, "Help!" she girl glanced up at Ginny, open-mouthed.
WASHU: *heroically* She-Girl! With the power of ages!
JAMES: (as Mike Nelson) And the power of bleach!
VEGETA: *muttering* Dirty line-stealer…
ANT: She-Girl… it’s James!
JAMES: I am NOT that camp! Tsch! *hits Ant in a sissy way* Eeh!
ANT: Ack! *hits back*
*a sissy stupid girly slap fight breaks out, James cheating by using his glove*
ANT: Cheat! Cheat! Oooh, you dirty cheat, I’m telling Gio-vaaaaann-iii!
JAMES: *grabbing Vegeta’s shoulder* Aaaw, don’t let him!
VEGETA: You make me sick…
Ginny recognized the girl as Angelina Johnson. Angelina opened the window and held out her hand so Ginny could get in quickly.
WASHU: (as Angelina, waving) Hi there! I’m gonna wave and tell you you’re going to die til you get a move on!
The mist flooded through the window, and hit Angelina. Angelina said something Ginny didn't hear, and fell to the floor.
ANT: Hear that? She shouted `James is a cheat, and he smells, and he’s really really gay.` She did.
JAMES: She didn’t, she said `Ant is gayer, cause everyone knows about him and Dec and the broom cupboard!`
WASHU: This is getting interesting! *sits back with popcorn*
VEGETA: Is that butter or sweet? I hate sweet.
Ginny shouted her name,but saw that
Angelina was still breathing. Ginny looked back toward the Forest and saw
shadows flying toward the castle. Ginny watched as they flew over-head and
recognized Lucious, Crabbe, and Goyle. She gasped, "death eaters?!"
she shrunk back against the wall, as she realized they would go after Harry.
"What is Lucious-san doing?!" Ginny said to herself, angrily,
"his own SON, Draco is in there!"
VEGETA: Maybe he doesn’t recognise him cause the school’s now in JAPAN!
No he's not."
ANT: (as voice) He’s outside, baking those muffins he likes… do you know nothing?
Ginny turned around. There before her stood Draco Malfoy, son of Lucious Malfoy
and Narrcissa Malfoy, in all his glory. He was holding out a wand, like Ginny,
and warding off the mist.
"What..How...When?" Ginny spluttered, still trying to keep control of
her magic.
Draco began walking back and forth, opening windows. As he did so, the purple
fog gradually left Ginny alone, and, instead, flooded into the school.
WASHU: Yes, that sounds a much better idea.
ANT: Where the heck did all those students disapear to? They all in the bathroom except the main characters, or something?
Finally, Draco answered, "I was going to steal some food from the house-elves when I saw you sneaking around with the Devil's Look on your face. I followed you. Jumped out off a sill just as the mist showed up. Dumbledore's herding everyone into the Great Hall. They houses Prefects are doing roll call.
VEGETA: (as Draco) Damn mist. Makes me speak in broken phrases. Rather annoying. Don’t you agree?
They've probally already missed us, Angelina, and whoever else already passed out from this bloody cloud. "
WASHU: Oh, I see, it’s the mist of niceness and helpfulness…
JAMES: Or out of characterness.
VEGETA: Don’t be so harsh, emergancies make people behave differently.
ANT: Yeah, can just imgaine you pulling a puppy out of a burning building…
VEGETA: I don’t count!
Finally, when all the clouds left Ginny, she stood up and massaged her sore
arms. "Well, what do we do now, Draco-kun?" she asked.
"Nothing."
"NOTHING?!"
"We sit back and watch what happens."
Ginny felt herself swelling with rage.
"Anata no baka! Harry-kun is in there and so is Voldemort! You DO realized
what is going to happen to Harry-kun when Voldemort find him! He'll kill
Harry-kun and probally your 'beloved' potion sensei as well!"
ANT: Any of you Japanese characters care to translate?
JAMES: Beats me, I don’t even get to keep my Japanese name when I’m dubbed.
WASHU: I DO know several thousand languages… but I wasn’t listening. Sorry.
VEGETA: Do I look like the helpful type to you?
ANT: *annoyed* Fine, then, I’ll just assume she said `all anime characters are badly drawn poopheads`, and leave it at that.
*deadly silence*
ANT: Er.. since I just realised I’m in a theatre full of two-dimensional anime characters, I’ll be quiet now… *is mobbed, tied to the theatre chair and gagged*
WASHU: Tsch, badly drawn… even though Tenchi In Tokyo did had very odd movement…
VEGETA: I’ll have you know Dragonball Z has been commended for its animation! `State of the art, without being to flashy`. Hah.
JAMES: …I have no excuses. Pokemon’s animation does sorta suck.
ANT: Mmph.
Draco was taken aback, but soon relaxed, grabbed Ginny's wrist, pulled her
through the window, as they made their way toward the Great Hall. Suddenly, the
two of them were violently thrown back against a wall as they approached the
said destination. Draco had a bit of blood trailing from his mouth to his chin,
and Ginny figured he must have gotten a bit in his lungs.
VEGETA: (as Ginny) Heh, silly Draco, doesn’t know the correct ettique for drinking blood…
She began to cast a healing spell on him that Pomfrey Sensei had taught her,
JAMES: *overjoyed* Oooh, Cure Water!
VEGETA: Enough Secret of Mana references for you.
JAMES: *deflates* Aww.
when it occured to her that she might have to save her strength for more life-threatening cases. She peeked through the massive door of the Great Hall, and gasped as she saw that it was in ruins. She silently screamed when she saw Voldemort's tall, skinny, lanky, pinched form making his way towards Harry Potter.
WASHU: Posh Spice is trying to kill Harry!
Draci came up behind her and laid a hand on Ginny's shoulder when he saw Voldemort. Voldemort had Harry backed against a wall, and Voldemort raised his wand, saying an incantation, "Advadra Kada-" Ginny had conjoured a leaf, and put it to her lips.
WASHU: (as Ginny) At least I can get in one good dinner before we all die… Mmm, eucalyptus…
The leaf whistle distracted Voldemort from
his curse, and he turned to look at her.
Harry yelled, "Ginny-chan, get BACK!"
"No!"
She raised her wand and said, "Full Body Bind!" she sent the curse at
Voldemort. Voldemort eisily sidestepped it.
VEGETA: *sings* It’s just a step to the left…
WASHU: *sings* And then a jump to the riiiight…
JAMES: Eeeew, Voldemort in Rocky Horror gear…
But it was enough of a distraction that Harry had a chance to run across the Hall to Ginny and Draco. They put their wands together and the three of them yelled, "FULL BODY BIND!" Ginny's curse rounded back upon Voldemort, who was hit square in the stomache.
WASHU: He..he..was taken down by a full-body bind?
JAMES: Didn’t they teach them that one in first year?
ANT: Mmph!
VEGETA: He’s on the floor! Put the boot in! Kick him!
JAMES: You’ve been hanging around Spike too much…
VEGETA: *turning sharply* And just what is that supposed to mean?
JAMES: *innocently oblivious* Well, you use his phrases, you’re nearly always sat next to him, and I swear I saw you leaving his room this morning…
VEGETA: He had toothpaste! I was borrowing toothpaste!
JAMES: *grins* Ok!
ANT: *rolls eyes* Mmm-umph!
VEGETA: Prove it!
He yelled and toppled over, unable to move, Harry picked up Voldemort's wand
and snapped it in to four pieces.
Ginny smiled. She finally felt like she had done something right.
WASHU: (as Ginny) All those years it took me to remember the words `full body bind`, in conjunction with pointing my wand… it finally paid off.
--------------------Story Ends----------------------------
VEGETA: As does patience. *tearing tape off Ant’s mouth* Time to go.
ANT: Arrrgh! Could’ve been more gentle, like!
VEGETA: Pitiful!
***Vegeta stomps off first, followed by a giggling Washu, Ant, rubbing his face, and James trailing last.***
Dr Evil, flicking the monitor back on with a chripy beep-beep, noticed something. The layout of the SoL was a bit… different. Different in that the walls have fake stonemasonary on them, gargoyles, torches, the works. So, definatly a bit different, then. Ah, yes, and the crew are all dressed like gimps.
Moewth, leaping onstage, brandishes a microphone and nice suit.
“And now, ladies and gentlemen, for yoir amoisement, we present to you… Harokuo Potter-san and the Sushi of Dreams! …t’ank god I’m not da owl…”
Dec stumbles forward, wearing thick glasses, kabuki robes and a stupid grin. Ant followed him, wearing feathers and a pissed-off scowl.
“Oh boy, Hedwig-chan” he said awkardly, in his usual `acting` voice. “I can’t believe that I, Harokuo Potter-san, get to study with the Hogwariki-sensi!”
“Awwk.” said the feathered Geordie.
A large, green object, looking a bit like a mobile hedge, one that had been dragged through… er, itself, backwards, stumbled on stage, its head arguing with its arse.
“This is humiliating, I’m the prince of Saiyans, not Bobo the clown…” hissed the rear end.
“Shut the bloody hell up and get on with it! You’re not being very scary for an evil alien…” said the head, with a familiar Cockney accent.
“`Evil alien??` That’s such a cliché, you’re making me sound like some crappy actor in a costume… like Krankor…”
“Right now you ARE a crappy actor in a costume. Be Voldemort-y!”
“… I SAID…” intonated Dec, loudly, “I hope nothing EVIL from my PAST comes after me in my new SCHOOL…”
“Rrrrowgh. We- I –am Voldemorku, really evil thingy from your dark past. Chan.”
“Oh no! Ramen noodles!”
“Indeed. Samurai.”
“Whatever shall I do? Sushi.”
“I will kill you. Chop suey.”
Cue Jessie and James, in British school uniforms, which, despite what Britney may say, are NOT sexy. Really. Example- grey knee-length skirt and baggy blue jumper. Anyway…
“Hi there, we’re the plucky best friends, seen as social outcasts, but with hearts of gold!” chirped Jessie, with a bright smile. “I’m Hermionirou-san!”
“I’m Roniki-kun! I’m the underachiever, and she’s the over achiever! We have lots of sexual tension!” glinted James.
“…and I’m the love interest!” giggled Cat, also in school uniform. Stop drooling, I know you saw her in FHM… “I’m popular, and only appear once or twice in each book!”
“… and I’m the little girl with a secret crush! Ginnika-chan!” said Washu, appearing from nowhere.
“Let’s all defeat Voldemorku together!” yelled Dec, adding “Stir fry!” as an afterthought. All present beat the green costumed monster with mallets of different sizes and hurting capabilities. This scene carries on for a long time.
“Aaah, feck, that was the funny bone, yer bastard!” yelled the head, followed by a hasty “Oh, yeah, dead, I’m dead I am. But I’ll be back for the next book!” He attempted to walk offstage. “I think my arse is unconcious.”
“Yay! We rule! Koi carp!” The cheer went up, and all took a bow, except Spike, who was trying not to fall over while pulling Vegeta out of the costume. No smutty remarks, I know you’re thinking them…
Dr Evil stared blankly for a long, long time. “Yeeees… remind me not to feed you sugar again. Press the button, Mini Me.”
“Eeee!”
End! Reckon I made enough gay jokes? :-P Well, I’m not exactly short of fics right now, but if you send me yours, I’ll stick them on the waiting list… be prepared to wait a bit, though… dittoblue30@yahoo.co.uk. Go to the site! http://www.geocities.com/dittoblue30/mst.html ! Go on! Run along now, you durn crazy kids. *laughs softly*