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Title: MST3K 1/2- Sersha's Buffy Fic, and Scott's Drunken Delousion and A Girl With Hair
Author: Kojiro
(http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=Directory-AuthorProfile&UserID=19476)
Eeep, OK, so, I’m doing the rest of the VG fic soon, but I got this, and had to do it. Plus, I was out of inspiration of Smads’ wondrous fic of goodness, I’ll get back to it later. But, this is the ep after the Vamp Gang fic, OK? You’re all ahead in time. Tssch, what’re you doing here? Go back, before some guy tells you that you have to go back to the future in a decrepit Delorean car, go!
Like you didn’t know it was coming- another episode of the far too demented Mystery Surreal Theatre 3000 ½! Actually, I think this episode breaks the borders of the usual insanity, because, not only have we got a fic by Sersha, Jisuka-hime’s sister, and one by Jisuka herself, but the second one in particular is all SMTV-ish! Yeee! Tis a gift from heaven! And, I decided to finally, finally bring together a couple who have been hinted at for ages. Hinted? Tssch, if you missed those hints, we get to kill you for the good of humanity. Yes, Aoi and Scott have a snugglesome moment. It’s kinda sweet, really.
What, you were expecting maybe Ant and Dec? Eww, gross.
Ah, and, fanart and MiSTing archive, at http://www.geocities.com/dittoblue30/mst.html
Standard disclaimer- None of it, excepting Aoi, is mine. Not Austin Powers, not Buffy, not Dragonball Z, not the fic I MiST, not the concept of MiSTing, not Pokemon, not SM:TV. Hey, I think I got that alphabetically. Hmm.
Anyway, on with the show!
*begin funky waah-waah guitar*
In the not-too distant future,
Somewhere in time and space,
A random group of people are caught in an endless chase,
Pursued by a doctor, who's name is Evil,
A frickin' weird bloke who wants to rule the world,
He collected some weird fics, and some even worse,
And with his mini clone he hunts them all across the universe!
(Dr Evil: `Come, Mr Bigglesworth!` Mini-Me: `Eeeeee!`)
Dr Evil: "I'll send them freakish fanfic,
The weirdest I can find,
(Mini-Me: `La-la-la!`)
They'll have to sit and read them all,
Until the world is mine!"
(Mini-Me: `La-la-la!`)
Now keep in mind they can't control where the fanfics begin or end,
They'll have to keep their sanity with the help of their loyal friends.
Reviewer role-call!
Scott! "I’m losing my mind!"
Ant! "Jessie, Honey!"
Dec! "Pika-pika-pikachuu!"
Cat! "I’m not *that* surreal…"
Aoi! "Canary power!"
Spi-i-i-i-ke! "Sod off."
The weird bits are innumerable, please try not to barf,
Just repeat to yourself, `it's only a fic`, turn off your brain and laugh,
For Mystery Surreal Theatre 3000 ½!
*end funky waah-waah guitar, and the fic begins. ~_^*
Vegeta had been wandering about the many corridors of the extended Satellite of Love, because.. well, what else could he do? Cat was in the main room, trying to get the rest of the crew to learn embroidery, and even though the sight of Spike trying to sew little pink bunnies on a piece of cloth was not to be missed, he wanted to stay well away from Cat when she was in a `togetherness` mood.
He had decided, ever since the first days he arrived on the ship, not to open random doors. God knows what’s behind them, the SoL was like an interdimensional hall of fame. This was probably the fault of Giovanni, who’d modified it somewhat after Mike Nelson, Tom Servo and Crow moved out. He seems to have taken the Washu method of redecorating- add a new dimension onto the door frame, and voila! Step into a new place of weirdness every time. He swears he was pretty drunk when he did this, which seems fairly likely. Ever since the captains Ant, Dec and Cat had been moved in, he really, really needed to drink. Drink a lot. Drink very, very strong drink that makes your throat burn. Weird, that. Anyhow, ever since Vegeta had opened a door that looked like it could have a bathroom behind it, and he ended up with a lovely view of the Gobi desert, he resolved to not go through a door that someone else wasn’t going through first. Or he could at least push someone through first, whatever worked best at the time. Unfortunately, it was an emergency. He very much needed the bathroom, and there was no one to shove through an experimental door. Plus, he had no idea where he was in the satellite. This is one of those times when you say `d’oh`, he thought.
"Well, may as well go for it." he thought aloud, and pushed open an innocent looking door.
"Hmm." Vegeta said, as a mop flopped onto the floor. "Not a bathroom, but not a desert either, I suppose this is progress…" his speech ground to a halt as he saw something at the back of the broom closet he’d opened. Was that a- Could it be a- Woooah!
"Just use the white thread for his ickle wickle tail… there we go! Your patchwork is finished!" Cat looked triumphant, and she grinned widely at Spike, who bared his teeth widely in return. Jessie and James snorted with laughter, until Cat passed them a thimble, a needle, some thread and a sewing pattern showing kittens in a basket. As Team Rocket squabbled over the pink thread, Cat walked over to Scott, Aoi, Ant and Dec, who were hard at work sewing Cat’s favourite socks to her favourite skirt, but she was bowled over by a zooming object. Whatever it was ran over Aoi’s fingers, and continued rolling about madly at top speed, rebounding off walls, and finally stopping, when Spike tripped it over with the Playstation cable. The object flew over the back of the sofa, and landed noisily. Jessie’s new Arcanine and James’ Growlithe dashed over to see what the heck it was, and eventually, when the rest of the crew gathered round, it was revealed to be Vegeta, bruised and on the floor, but grinning widely, and an upturned office chair, one of its wheels rotating slowly.
"Woooah!" said Scott, which is the typical reaction to a chair on wheels, followed by "Let’s race on it!"
Cat flipped the spinny chair away from Scott, who had one hand attached to it, clinging on for dear life. "No! It’s not our wheely chair… and.. I… erm… Let’s race on it!"
So, naturally for such a bored group of people, another spinny chair was salvaged from Vegeta’s broom cupboard, and a death race was brought about, between Spike and Vegeta, the psychotically evil residents of the satellite. As Jessie pointed out, it seemed only right that if anyone should die in an unfortunate death chair race accident, it might as well be one of the evil murders, right? Meowth, unofficial commentator at these events, took up a position, holding a rolled up newspaper as a megaphone.
"On ya marks… get set… Gooo!"
Well, afterwards, everyone reflected on it as a very exiting event… Spike easily overtook Veggie at the start, until they tried to go around the corner, and Vegeta knocked Spike over. Unfortunately, Spike fell over Cat’s Starmie, which fired water at Pikachu and Raichu, who shocked Aoi’s Vulpix, who burnt, Scott’s Psyduck, who psychic-attacked Spike’s Jigglypuff, who used pound on Gastly, who wasn’t that bothered, but moved backwards and Psychic attacked Growly and Arky, who went berserk, and knocked James into the trash bin. James caught Jessie’s wrist as he fell over, who, in traditional Team Rocket style, took Meowth down with her. He leapt up and tried to scratch attack her, but his tail was run over by Vegeta doing a victory lap in his chair. The attack missed, and caught Cat on the face, who fell over Ant, who grabbed Scott’s leg and took him down, who elbowed Dec in the ribs, who knocked Aoi over as he moved backwards, who made a last leap for Veggie’s chair. Who went crashing to the ground along with the rest of them. Several chairs and tables fell down, and, against all probability, Ant was hit in the face with a cream pie. Mostly for the comedy, I guess.
And then the annoying chirpy beep-beep sounded, meaning that Dr Evil wanted a word.
"Ack!" said Aoi, getting up from the struggling pile of people, and shaking her ankle free of her fried Vulpix, she pulled herself over to the screen, and pushed the button. Dr Evil flashed into view, took one look at the worriing scene before him, and said
"Riiiiight. Your fic is… now. It’s a Buffy one, I want Spike in there, I don’t care about the rest. There are." He paused for effect "TWO fics for you today!" Dramatic music sounded in the background, as Dr Evil made a hand signal to Mini Me.
"That was good, Mini-Me, you got the cue right."
From somewhere within the mass of people, Scott could be heard saying "What an ass. He could at least buy a decent sound effect…"
"Fine. For that, you’re in there too. But of course, I need many people for the one after that…. Mwahahaa! Surely, these fics will break you. Oh yes."
Aoi blinked.
"Erm, Ok, whatever…"
Spike pulled himself out of the wreckage of the once-proud spinny chair, and took a soggy pack of smokes from his pocket.
"Urgh." he said, as he lit one, with much bother. Scott mumbled something as he stood up, and caught Ant and Cat by their sleeves. All complaining, loudly, they made their winding way to the theatre. Well, not winding, it’s only down that corridor to the left, it’s signposted, can’t miss the door, y’know…
<6- It's one of Ant and Dec's old album covers! Oh the inhumanity! Laugh at the ridiculous poses, and move on…>
<5- It's a waterfall, put up your `Friends` style umbrella, and dash through…>
<4- It's a poster for Pokémon, the 25th movie. Run like hell…>
<3- It's a sheet of Ranma ½ manga, carefully lift the corner and slip though without tearing Shampoo's face…>
<2- Tis a shower curtain, grab your rubber ducky and bolt through…>
<1- An Offspring poster! Dudette! Careful not to crease Noodles, you duck past…>
***Spike, Cat, Scott and Ant all wheel in on wheely chairs***
SCOTT: Yee!
SPIKE: *knocking into the wall of the tiny cinema* Ow. Can we stop now?
Author: sersha (jisuka-himes little sister)
SPIKE: Yaaay!
SCOTT: Wow, Spike `Yaaay`ed. That’s just plain disturbing.
SPIKE: I love Jisuka-hime! All those Angel bashing fics… *contented sigh*
CAT: Reckon her sister will be just as weird?
ANT: Gee, let me think… yes.
Rating: U
Summerey: Hi! 'Tis me, jisuka-hime.
ALL: *waving* Hi!
SPIKE: *punches the air* Wooo!
SCOTT: You’re freaking me out, Spike…
I'm typing the summery (the only way I know how) because my sister ain't to good with a keyboard.
ANT: (as Sersha) Now how do I work this thingy again? Hmm… it had something to do with pressing buttons, but I’m not certain…
SPIKE: Just use our author’s special method of banging her forehead against the keyboard repeatedly.
I also had to typing the story. I know I'm gonna make spelling mistakes but Buffy is a hard word to spell dammit! I also added my own 'special' story on the end because I fear this may be too short. Lesse, Buffy has a cold, Angle is a majigger and Giles stakes people.
CAT: The plot for the whole first season in one handy sentence.
SCOTT: I could do the whole movie… `Buffy is slayer, she slays stuff, Merrick dude dies, we get confused.`
SPIKE: You missed out `We all get stuck on a satellite, transcript is bad, Scott goes insane.`
SCOTT: *arms folded* It’s a perfectly normal reaction to crappy transcripts!
SPIKE: If you’re a bloody moron, yes…
Story:
Buttfy had a cold. She sneased (achoo!!!) she coughed (cough)
SCOTT: She threw up (wuurgh!)
CAT: She drove a car (zooom!)
ANT: She ate a pilchard (eew!)
SPIKE: Hehee… Butt-y the Vampire Slayer!
Xander COULDN't be THE new slayer caos he was a girl (Dudette!)
SPIKE: Uhm? Would’ve thought I would’ve picked up on that one…
SCOTT: Would’ve thought at least Anya would’ve noticed.
Angel the mindless slave brought Buffy tea. Buffyy didn't liket he tea so she staked Angle. He cried cause those stake thingy's hurt alot and he couldn't spell.
SPIKE: *kicks back in the chair* This is why I love this place.
So he killed Bugfy.
CAT: Poor Bugfy, the dog-faced girl.
ANT: Bugfy had not a friend in the world…
SCOTT: Apart from the crazy snake lady down the road, Willofy…
SPIKE: But Bugfy didn’t care, she was a happy dog faced girl, cause she had an Angle.
(Spellcheck does not exsist in my world!!! Mhahahahaha!
ANT: (as Sersha) And neither does sodium! Mwahahaaa!
CAT: Unicorns don’t exist in our world, but I’m not `Bwahahaa`-ing about it.
And you better not be complaining cause I'll blow the satellitte up!
ALL: !!!
SCOTT: *panicked* Is she talking to us?!?
ANT: I Dunno, this could be broadcast to the Mir, too… Of course she means us!
CAT: Argh! Insane people with bombs!
SPIKE: But… but… I was gonna do that…
An author tuned into the radio and she heard what some not so nice people were saying about her story on a satellite
ANT: We’re on the radio? People can hear us? Aiee!
CAT: There’s people watching our every move right now?
SPIKE: We’re not so nice?
SCOTT: (as the kid from the Sixth Sense) I see fic readers… all around…
so she got a bomb and went to talk to a nice man who said 'Go ahead. Kill 'em all!'
ANT:*shakes his fist* Damn you, Bill Gates!
SPIKE: Isn’t it more likely to be Giovanni, or Dr Evil, or just some random person, or something?
ANT: Ah. Yes. Erm, the Gates thing… *sinister voice* it’s a veeeery different story…
5...
SCOTT: *panicking more* Oh boy…
4...
CAT: *terrified* I’m too young and beautiful to die!
SPIKE: Isn’t that my line?
3...
ANT: *shaking* Uh-oh… I repent for all my bad puns… all the embarrassing sketches on SM:TV…
CAT: *calms down* Like when you were Anty the Garden Goblin?
ANT: Shh.
2...
SPIKE: Not before I’ve killed the Slayer!
CAT: Not before I’ve got my first million!
ANT: Not before that kebab that’s for dinner tonight!
SCOTT: Not before… I tell someone something… *important sounding music, like that off the end of `Chums`*
OTHERS: ???
1...
SCOTT: Well, you see, I love…
Kablewie!
ALL: ARGH!
[jisuka's note: Dah... My sister is psycotic and a forth wall breaker @_@ sowwie. I'd send marshmellows if I could...])
ALL: … oh.
CAT: You love…
SCOTT: I love… I love… I’d love a waffle right now. Yes.
OTHERS: *various sweary mumblings*
ANT: *outraged* This is ridiculous!
CAT: I know, it’s all tense and…
ANT: No marshmellows! It’s a travesty!
Two years later he remembered he was supposed to be dust! But he couldn't turn himself into Ash so he cried.
SPIKE: *giggling* Poor Angel, I remember he always wanted to be a Pokémon Master.
SCOTT: Wow, his reflexes *suck*.
Xander heard from Willow who heard from Cordy who heard from Harmony who heard from her half brother's best friend's proffesser's grandfather that Buffy was dead
CAT: That’s… confusing…
SPIKE: Anyone else want a translator?
ANT: Anyone else want an aspirin?
so he went to a kareoke bar. Then he heard from Harmony who heard from Michael who heard from his son who heard from his brother's sister who heard from the school janitor who heard from saten
SCOTT: *gasp* Al Gore!
ANT: No, Satan.
SCOTT: I stand by my gasp of terror.
who heard from zeus that angel killed buffy. so,HE WENT TO CORDELIA'S TINY TEENY WEENY MANsion ROOM TO KILL CHARLOTTE.
CAT: Charlotte. I’m new to this show, so I don’t know… who the hell is Charlotte?
SPIKE: It’s the evil little spider that lives in Willow’s hair.
CAT: Oh, OK.
ANT: Erm, Spike…
SPIKE: Shh, I want to see how long she’ll believe it for.
Darla turned into dust and could turn into ash so Marci turned into dust.
After staking the entire universe, Spike FINALLY killed Angel.
SPIKE: Yeees!
ANT: But…but none of that made sense!
SCOTT: Look at the dance he’s doing. Does he really care? I think not.
Angel fell off the Christmas tree and Father Christmas died. Sarah cried because Angle-Xand-Charis made Father Christmas crie.
Giles, since he has not been insulted enough, cried because Buffy was dead. Buffy cried because Buffy was deadddd.
SPIKE: You know, I think someone may have *died*…
ANT: Poor Father Christmas… he was a jolly old soul…
SCOTT: The reindeer shall mourn his passing greatly…
"Wait. Dead people turn to Ash when they die. That means I'm died!" Cried Buffy and Angel. Willow cried because she could not be dead ash so she decided to be live ash instead. So Marci kissed him. 'I don't like you' Marci told Angel and kicked him where it hurts.
CAT: (as Angel) Ow! You kicked me on the knee!
ALL: …
CAT: Well, it would hurt to be kicked on the knee.
ALL: …
CAT: Well it would!!
CORDELIA WENT TO ASIA TO LEARN GEORGIAN ARCHITECTURE, AND WAS STAKED BY WILLOW WHO WAS TRYING TO MAKE A BOMB.
SPIKE: AND ALL OF THIS HAD TO BE IN CAPS LOCK?
CAT: IT CREATES MORE IMPACT.
ANT: THAT OR SERSHA COULDN’T FIND THE *koff koff* couldn’t find the button that makes the little green light go `blink!`
Briteny Spears drowned in a tree.
ALL: Yaaay!
SCOTT: A physical impossibility, but yaaay anyway! Whoo!
SPIKE: Reckon we can strangle NSYNC with a shrubbery next?
CAT: Not until we’ve choked Westlife with a banana tree.
Buffy was mad because she wasn't sick so she grabbed a bowling ball out of the grandfather clock made of dictionarys (jisuka-himes note: Come on now, everyone has one. Don't they?)
CAT: That reminds me, didn’t we send our dictionary clock to the Nanites for servicing?
ANT: Yeah, after Spike hit it with a baseball bat.
SPIKE: What? What? We were playing baseball, the clock got in the way.
SCOTT: *pulls face* Only cos Vegeta threw it at you.
SPIKE: That was a fun game.
And staked Gilres.
Giles didn't like being staked so instead of turning into a werewolf he kissed himeself in the head. The entire world cried. Cordy spit on herself. She liked it so she spit again.
SCOTT: Erm. Erm indeed.
ANT: Anyone else want to know exactly how Giles got so bendy?
CAT: NO.
SPIKE: (As Cordy) Hmm… there has to be a quicker way of taking a shower…
(jisuka-himes note: I'm so sorry for all this insanity.
SPIKE: Just humiliate Angel once more for me, I’ll be happy.
*Vows to find out what her sister was on when she wrote it* But if you like Angel bashing stories and think SMTV: live is the best morning show in the world, read my story)
CAT: I think that’s a good thing… that’s a good thing, right?
ANT: Not if we end up in the next story.
SPIKE: Was that Angel bashing? I heard Angel bashing.
SCOTT: Naw, she said `Range nil crashing`. It’s the new sport.
OZ LIKED BOW TIES.
Spike said the sky was blue. He didn't like the colour blue. He said the sky was red and everyone in Sunnydale beleived him because he was so clever and they were all dumb.
Xander had a glass of lotion.
SCOTT: (as Xander) Mmm, lotion! Gotta love the bubbly aftertaste!
CAT: It’s tasty and nutritious!
ANT: It’ll make the inside of your throat baby soft!
Willow took a bubble bath in the glass. Willow hated Xander so she staked Angel.
SPIKE: *nods* Yeah, that seems fair.
Oz hasn't been insulted yet so he was half way across the universe and he slept with Dru,
SPIKE: Hey! I’m losing patience with this…
SCOTT: Don’t kill Oz! He’s darn good looking, he is… what a head of hair, eh?
who hit him on the head with a chair and went off to marry Spike so Spike and Dru ruled the universe together
SPIKE: Oh, wait, that’s OK then. Patience is restored.
ANT: (as Drusilla) I loike ruling the universe, Spoike… it moikes moi head go all tingly tingle… *giggles*
CAT: (as Drusilla) Look at the stars, Spoike, they’re shiney, loike tin foil!
SCOTT: (as Drusilla) Shoine yer shoes, guvnor?
(I'm a big Spike fan okay? jisuka-hime is rubbing off on me).
Giles was staked in the heart but he missed by two and a half centimetres and hit his knee. He didn't like one knee hurting so he staked the other foot.
SPIKE: Giles is quite the contortionist, isn’t he?
CAT: I like Giles.
'Good' said Alley MacBeel.
SCOTT: Blah, who let Calista in?
ANT: Maybe she saw a nummy looking stick of celery inside the studio.
Then they all died (jisuka-hime: 'cept Spike 'n' Dru of course) cos I was writing a sequel.
Jisuka-himes notes: I apoligise for that random peuce of insanity. I'll type up a fic now. Happy reading (And I hope she didn't REALLY blow you all up *rolls eyes*)
SPIKE: She didn’t, cause you wouldn’t let that happen, would you?
SCOTT: Spike’s all … weird.
CAT: The light’s going off, we’re outta here!
ALL: Yaay!
***All get up to scramble out, Spike stalks out first, but the door shuts behind him.***
SCOTT: *walking into the shut door* Oww! By Dose!
CAT: Uhh?
DR EVIL: *over PA system* Aren’t we forgetting something? There’s still another "fanfic" *you can just hear him making the air quotes, can’t ya?* to read.
***the door shoots open, and Aoi and Dec are thrown inside. Spike is just outside, giggling and pointing at them***
DR EVIL: And you five are all in the fic, in one form or another… Actually, the almost whole crew is, but there aren’t many seats, you see…
SCOTT: *still holding his nose, which wasn’t helped when he fell over with Dec on him* You cheapass. You could’ve bought more seats!
DR EVIL: …. I knew that. Shh. Don’t contradict daddy, Scott.
AOI: Er, ow.
DEC: What the hell threw us in?
AOI: Yeah… and hell, why don’t you just ASK me to go in the theatre, and see what happens!
DR EVIL: You’d get annoyed and throw something at me. Meowth, possibly.
AOI: Well… yeah, but it would have been more polite on your part.
DEC: And why us, there’s a whole crew out there, and we were both in the time before last…
DR EVIL: You’re in it, just go watch, before I liquidise you all!
ALL: Eeep!
DR EVIL: *smugly* I could, you know.
***all sit down, with some difficulty***
ANT: Ow. OW. No room, pain.
Scotts drunken delousion and a girl with hair.
SCOTT: Oh. God. No.
CAT: I guess it’s better than `Scott’s drugged up nightmare and a skinhead girl.`
DEC: *darkly* We’ll see…
ANT: *evil laugh*
AOI: *staring* What are you two on?
ANT: Sorry.
DEC: While we’re on the subject of weirdness, what was that I heard earlier about you and Bill Gates?
ANT: *sinister voice* Oh, nothing, Declan, nothing at all… But I’ll meet you again, Gates, and it’ll be the final showdown for you… Mwahahaa…
jisuka's story:
Scott Evil sat in his room, giggling merrily. It was sooo obvious he was drunk, but man eating fish tanks were on the loose again so he stayed in his room.
SCOTT: Tssch, AGAIN?
CAT: Well, if people won’t obey the `man eating fish tanks must be kept on a lead` law…
He met a girl at the place where he was yesterday.
DEC: It was a happy place, with flowers, and colours, and lots of little pills…
SCOTT: I don’t do drugs!
AOI: You do some medication for your weird neuroticness, though…
SCOTT: … I meant other than that.
He couldn't remember cos he was so drunkie. He didn't even know her name. Maybe it was Alex... She had nice blue hair and a quick temper.
AOI: …eep…
SCOTT: Woah.
AOI: Dude.
SCOTT: Yeah.
AOI: Erm?
SCOTT: I know.
AOI: Do… you?
SCOTT: Uhm… yeah.
AOI: …Me too, y’know?
SCOTT: Ahh…
*both move a little closer to each other in the seats, Scott puts his arm around Aoi*
ANT/DEC/CAT: Aww!
DEC: *wipes away a tear* That’s so cute…
CAT: It was no Mills and Boon, but it was sweet.
ANT: Am I the only one who feels all interrupty with them right now?
DEC: Reckon we could sneak out?
CAT: Yeah, Declan, I had plans to get blasted to death with evil lasers this week, didn’t I? Baka!
and she liked the same stuff he liked! Rock music and anime... Whatever. He was gonna see her again tonight if he could. He remembered hitting on her but she kept saying
DEC:… that bagels were the square root of four. It was weird.
'who the heck are you?' and 'get lost you jerk!' She so liked me. Scott giggled again and turned on his TV. A girl who looked like she was on the same 'happy pills' his uncles brothers twins sisters long lost proffesers godfather was on.
ANT: (as Scott) She also ate mittens. It was kinda weird.
Then he thought 'this show won't be created for another 30 years!' he shrugged it off. Obviously the direct rays of the space time continuem had gotten redirected, sending lost beams to the solar system that effected the mass of Pluto and bounced all the way off the Sun and hitting his TV.
AOI: I knew that.
DEC: Tssch.
AOI: I did so!
Or maybe the author was manipulating a plothole.
He looked down on the bed and saw a machiene that was labled
SCOTT: `Dr Evil’s Pez dispenser. Do not touch.`
ANT: `Mini Me’s food cupboard. For the love of God, don’t touch.`
'Dr. Evils very secret, and shouldn't at all be played with by Scott, evil machine for transporting evil people into evil TV shows.' He pressed a button and dissapeared in a flash of red.
Immediantly he was attacked by a bubbly guy in a red jumpsuit with a Pikachu on it.
'Worship the Pikachu!' He yelled.
'Dudette!' Scott cried, full of drunken rage like he is, 'Don't be a fool (hic) and spoil the (hic) DBZ take (hic) over!'
'Ash rools!'
DEC: Yeah! I like you! Erm, who are you?
ANT: Tssch. Gary rules, everyone knows that…
Cried the crazed Declan, his brown hair going wild, his cloak, flapping in the imaginary wind.
ANT: *cracks up laughing*
DEC: Woah! I have a cloak! Yeaah!
CAT: The odd thing is, they were like this all the time before, nothing much has changed.
AOI: At least he’s not dressed as Misty again…
DEC: (in his special SM:TV Misty Voice [imagine a frog trying to do a girly voice, there it is.]) I am Mmmmisty, the voluptuous Vulpix trainer of Celadon!
ANT: {in his special SM:TV Gary voice [pretty much the same, but more pronounced, sorta]) And I am the world’s greatest trainer, the best Pokémon Master to have ever lived, I am… G-g-gary.
SCOTT: Argh. Nightmares for weeks…
CAT: Isn’t as bad as when Dec was a Sailor Senshi, I guess.
***Eee, author’s note: See `MST3K 1/2- Attack of the Prehistoric Pokémon` for scary `Sailor Geordie` vs. `Fist of the Northern England Star` details.***
AOI: If either of them ever tries to be Pretty Sami, I get to decapitate them both, right?
CAT: Right.
'Noh uh!' Cried Scott, whaking some sense into Ant.
CAT: Ah, yet another person who can’t tell the difference between Ant and Dec.
ANT/DEC: Hey! We’re different!
AOI: Aww, he just transmogrified is all.
SCOTT: Like those Transformer robots. It’s two Geordies in one!
'Everyone knows Friezer is the best! And he's soooo gonna get Vegeta! I'll bet my life savings on it!'
AOI: Ah, now there’s some info we have to record and play back to Veggie a few times over.
SCOTT: I have life savings?
AOI: Yeah, there’s a point, where do you get all your money for stuff from?
SCOTT: Dad may be evil, but he is a multi billionaire.
AOI: … *hugs Scott a little closer*
Then, Ant and Cat came over to iterupt the brawl between them.
'Who're you?' He asked them.
'We're Ant et Cat.' He was told. Scott giggled girlishly.
SCOTT: Baah!
AOI: It’s a *cute* girlish giggle!
'You're named after Animals!' He yelled.
DEC: (as Scott) Hippo and rhino! I know you!
CAT/ANT: Argh! *Cat hits Dec over the head with something heavy*
DEC: Oww! What was-
SCOTT: Best if you don’t ask.
Then, to make this crossover evan more confusing, Spike and Angel appeared.
AOI: *frowns* Can anyone else hear that banging noise?
'What the hell am I doing here?' asked Spike, being all cool like he does.
CAT: *puts her hand to her ear* I think so…
ANT: It’s coming from the door!
***Spike bursts through the door, panting***
SPIKE: What the bloody hell is that thing made of, diamond? I’ve been banging at it for five minutes!
ANT: *singing under his breath* Who let the Spike in… la-la-laa…
DEC: Hang on, hang on… you wanted IN? You, who’s always complaining about having to suffer every fic we get sent?
SPIKE: I forgot Jisuka’s writing it! Can’t miss me Angel bashing session, can I? *shoves Ant out of his seat, and takes out a bag of popcorn*
DEC: Give us a bit.
SPIKE: No.
ANT: Ow. That hurt! Where’m I meant to sit now?
SPIKE: The floor looks free.
CAT: And sticky. Eww.
'Don't mention that place!' Angel curled into a shiveering ball, threatening to start crying.
SPIKE: *laughs, spraying popcorn bits everywhere*
SCOTT: (as Angel) Don’t mention Disney Land, nooo!
That's when they noticed Scott was naked, Angels hair was purple with red polka dots and Cat had two straws stuck up her nose.
ANT: Oh, that’s a good look for you, Cat…
CAT: Ngh.
AOI: Kewl. Angel has red hair, so he can stand out as a poisonous creature in the wild.
DEC: That’s nice for him, now he won’t have to worry about baboons trying to eat him, or something.
ANT: … yeah, Declan, cause that was one of the main plot points of season one of Angel, wasn’t it?
'Am I dreaming?' Asked Scott.
'How should we know?' They all yelled in unsion.
Scott decided know was the time. He ran down the halls yelling 'who let the DOGS! out?'
SCOTT: Argh, Baha Men!
AOI/SCOTT: Name of the devil! Argh!
ANT: I quite like that one, actually.
Angel turned into a dog and follewed him. Until, being as mindlesss as he always is, ran out into the crowded road.
SPIKE: And a big heavy truck ends the pain for the small brained arsehead…
CAT: And with and almighty KERSPLAT, so ends the vampire with a soul.
DEC: Yup, now he’s road pizza with a soul.
He was never seen again even though Dec now has a nice doggy picture hanging in his dressing room. Cat hit Dec over the head with a 'Chums' style umbrella. Little red riding hood turned up to make an announcement.
SCOTT: (as Red) Hi, I’m Little Red, and I’m standing for election this year. I’d appreciate your vote…
SPIKE: It’s the puny weak girl that overpowered Angel! Sweet memories.
But before she could do that Angel attacked her.
'Give me that Picnik basket!' He cried.
AOI: (as Angel/Yogi Bear) I want to steal that pic-a-nick basket!
ANT: (as Angel/Yogi) Cause I’m smarter than the average vampire!
But his puny strengh was now match for the puny girl before him, and was easily wrestled out of his hands. He whimpered and pushed her over, still trying to take it.
DEC: (As Angel, pathetically) Grr! See my deadly vampire strength! Grr?
But the little girl overpowered him.
'Give me a break.' Sighed Spike, wondering what her done to get stuck with an idiot like Angel. He easily took the piknic basket from her. He then promptly gave it back. Who would want to miss Angel getting beat up by a small child anyway? He was gonna make the most of it.
SPIKE: Yay me!
SCOTT: Just hold it a little above his head, and laugh away.
AOI: (as Spike, taunty) Does Angel want the basket? Does he? Hehee! Can’t get it, gonna cry? Mwahaha!
Red was finally able to make her announcement.
ANT: (as Red) As I stated before, I’m going to run for prime mister in the next election, and I hope you’ll vote for me over that fathead Blair. Thank you.
DEC: This has been a little red service announcement.
'I have decided to retire from the 'Sugar, Spice and Gunpowder' Bussiness. My position will now be controled by Goldilocks.'
They all went home because the author hurt her arm and couldn't type any more.
ALL: Aww!
CAT: She probably hurt it while pushing Angel over on his arse.
A/N: I know, I know. This was just a fancy way of Red saying goodbye. But she'll come back.
SPIKE: Yay!
AOI: Huzzah!
ANT: Wahey!
CAT: Woo hoo!
SCOTT: Yippee!
DEC: Greyhounds!
AOI: … there are too many people in here, who votes me throw out Dec?
DEC: Me! Me!
Thanks for reading my story.
CAT: We had a choice?
SPIKE: It was fun!
AOI: *grins at Scott* I liked it…
SCOTT: Me too…
DEC/ANT/SPIKE: *make throwing up noises*
Lesse, disclaimer. Scott belongs to me and you can't have him!!! *Bashes people trying to get Scott with chairs* I've succesfully returned Spike to Joss so he can be back in all his Godleness and even more people can worship him.
SPIKE: Worship me! I… Joss who?
DEC: Ooo! Ooo! Can we shatter Spike’s perception of the world and his place in it by telling him who Joss Whedon is?
CAT: Not today, Dec, that’s what we do on Thursdays.
Angel belongs to Dec in his pretyty lil photo frame
ANT: Can’t think why that worries me so much… ah, wait, I think I know. yes, because EEW.
and Ant, Dec and Cat (I love their names don't you? They remind me of the icky creepy crawlie ants and nextdoors cat, Snookum Dididie
SPIKE: Did she just tell Snookums to die-die-die?
AOI: That doesn’t seem overly nice…
and of Double Decker buses)
ANT: Haha, Dec, she called you a creepy crawly! Hehe- oh.
belong to them selves and their lovely TV show, SMTV:live, belongs to the people who made it up. They also belong to their boring, repetitive daily lives.
AOI: End!
ANT: *sinister voice again* Round one to you, Gates… but the battle hasn’t ended yet… no, sir…
DEC: You worry me, mate.
CAT: One day I’ll ask what the Gates thing is about… but not today, I just ate, and I have a feeling I don’t want to hear it on a full stomach.
DEC: And stop doing that voice, it’s weird.
ANT: I’m weird? Me? You’re the weird one.
DEC: Am not!
ANT: You’re wearing a red Pokejumper!
DEC: And your point is?
ANT: Bah!
DEC: Pika-pikachuuu.
CAT: The lights all flashy, we leave. Come on.
DEC: Pikaaa!
ANT: Shut it!
DEC: Chuuu!
***Ant and Dec go out first, generally confusing each other with Pikachus, followed by Cat,who’s hitting herself on her forehead and wondering just what in the hell she did to deserve this. Scott and Aoi are almost last, holding hands and being kawaii, and Spike trails after them, pulling faces and making gross sounds.***
All done! Wasn’t so bad, was it? Naaaw. But, feedback needed! Review me, baby! Or, email me at: aoi@team-rocket-fan.co.uk, or alternatively at dittoblue30@yahoo.co.uk for feedback, or if you want me to MiST your fic. Nothing turned down, I swear!
Oh, BTW, should I have put Aoi and Scott together? It’s not going to affect much, I think, it’s just cute, is all.
Review this story! Please?